


Both Sides of the Wall

by StormRavensong



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 07:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 58,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2220726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormRavensong/pseuds/StormRavensong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ongoing reader insert: Both sides of the wall. (Rated teen for language) Otherwise a pretty clean work. <br/>SNK belongs to Hajime Isayama<br/>Other characters belong to me.<br/>Reader belongs to themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

********* This story will have alternate endings.. ~~~~ I know this isn't cannon, this universe is a parallel dimension to the regular SNK Universe, one that is extremely similar, but has a few changes. YAY alternate timelines! Okay, let's get moving here with the story!************

 

You look back at your village, your (e/c) eyes trickling at the edges with tears. You aren't ready to leave, you never imagined you would be gone. _Who will defend them? Who can stop the monsters from the outside? What about the ones from the Titus your neighboring village?_

You will have to trust that your absence will help to maintain the peace between your villages. The events of last night echo in your mind. You had no idea what fate awaited you. All of it began only four days ago. 

 

~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~

 

_Another supply run to Titus. They are bleeding us dry, barely leaving enough for our own people. They take our food, equipment, supplies. But what are we to do. The defenders like me, we can’t even keep the enemy from coming anymore._

_The hunger… No everyone but you calls them the titans… They always were dumb, slow… the ones who came to the village those years ago, they were nothing like that. They were fast, smart, and strong. They used tools, avoided and triggered our traps! We didn’t know how to fight them. US! We’re the defenders, we should have known._

_You shake your head, wanting to get today over with. Supplies to their village again, why? They had saved us. Their warriors claimed to have heard the calls of the raging beasts, the screams of our people. They swooped into the middle of our city, helping those of us who were still standing._

_With them aiding us in the fight, together we killed many titans. We won back our city, but were warned they would come again. That was the start of our uneasy pact with the Titus. Them taking almost half of everything, and us, getting paid only in protection from those smart titans._

_That day, we defenders hung our head in shame. We would be nothing more than scavengers raiding the forests nearby for supplies from the dead, returning those same bodies for proper burial within our cemeteries. We would all marvel at the strange clothing and equipment they wore._

_You liked the strange equipment, which you had learned to use after watching failed battles against the titans in those same forests. You still had some scars from your adventure in learning, but had finally taught the other defenders to use it. You were a strong people, before the smart titans came… now your kind, those who fight were nothing more than hungry rats, preying on the carnage below. You felt… defeated…_

_After delivering the supplies you were told to leave with your group immediately. They said that it was almost evening and the monsters would be out again soon. Taking their words to heart, your companions rushed you into the wagon for the ride home.  You all stopped a short way from their village to rest. The wagon trip had left you with nothing to eat._

_Thunder cracked and lightning struck the village nearby. Your curiosity got the better of you and you ran to the edge of the clearing to see what was before you. There was a titan, his yellow hair and sharp green eyes. Then you saw another appear, where a man stood next to him. You gasped stepping backward._

__They are titans? How can they be titans?_ For the first time in your adult life, you let out a terrified scream and took off towards your companions, who had never seen you scared. You tried to explain what you saw when one of the humans from the village approached your caravan._

_“Is everything okay, I thought I heard a scream.” He asked._

_"It's fine, I just have a strange fear of thunder." you replied curtly trying to draw off any suspicion of what you saw… The man standing here had blonde hair and those same green eyes, filled with the deep hunger and fire. This… this was that titan._

_You remember very little, you were stabbed several times before being thrown quite unceremoniously onto the wagon, along with your unresponsive companions. You felt him join you a moment in the wagon, before his large hand took the side of your head, leaving you dizzy, but mildly aware of your surroundings._

_He removed himself from the wagons, then slapped the horses, sending them running towards the camp. No doubt, the camp would think it was bandits…_

 

~~~~~~~ Onward to last night ~~~~~

 

_You had awoken three days later, only to be told by the elder that your friends were dead and the Titus asked him to execute any survivors, saying that you had attacked them! Thankfully this village elder had raised you and did not believe the story, or perhaps he wanted your view on it.  The other elders respected his decision and let you live to find out what had happened. After all, we were a people who loved and respected the truth._

_He asked your story and you had told him, and he hugged you tightly._

_“You talked, while you were unconscious.” He says softly. “You spoke of the walls, the monsters within… of wings that fly free… and that they could help our village. You spoke of the end of the titans… You said so many things. That our prison is not different from theirs in the wall city.”_

_“I… Don’t remember.” You reply, shaking your head lightly. You clutched the bandages on your stomach, hoping to ease the pain there._

_“You are injured but you’ll heal fast, you always do.” The elder said. “It’s not a time to talk child, you must go to the wall city. Learn about them, learn how they can help us… they must save us from our enemies.” He touches your head lightly muttering something low and quiet. “You are the only one who can go... and we were ordered to kill you or hand you to Roderich as a slave… but I convinced him sending you to the wall city would be your death and that if it wasn’t you would return with secrets for him.”_

_Roderich… the scum who leads the Titus, had a liking to many of the females. Often whisking them away to very short, fatal marriages. Seeing you staring and saying nothing he continues._

_“Find us answers, find this flying army and ask them to help us. Travel with them to the city of walls… See what they know about these titans, about the ones like you saw. See what they can teach you.”_

_You nod in understanding of the situation. The elder kisses your forehead gently, just as he had when you were a child. “Now… rest, I will gather your things, you set out in the morning.”_

_You fell into an uneasy sleep that night._

 

~~~~~~~~ Back to now ~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are overlooking the north village still, when you realize you have no choice. Death, or something worse, or you can go back to the forests. You had already seen the smoke in the sky. The strangers from the walls couldn't be too far behind. They never were and as always with them would be traveling Death. 

You approached the forest with caution, only having to kill two or three smaller titans along the way. The largest was seven meters, hardly enough to be a bother. Another green smoke signal flew through the air from the edge of the forest. You trace the sky, seeing both green and black smoke and wonder what that means. 

No time to waste… you continue into the depths of the forest trying to find the ones who you would be studying… Strangely you have a feeling you may be more help to them than they are to your tiny village. Still, you can’t lose hope; you can’t lose your home.

You hear them, off in the distance. The sound of titans in pain, the sound of their weapons breaking reached your ears. You hear screams and anguished cries of loss. Yes… the strangers are here. You come closer to watch them in battle, hoping to find someone who seems kind to be the first you introduce yourself to. 

You move closer to the battle, following the steam and bracing yourself for what you are sure to find. You clear your mind and calm your nerves… the nausea from the sight you were going to come upon later would be enough without your nerves in the way. 

Slowly, ever so slowly you ease yourself closer to this group, trying to understand what they really are.


	2. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready to meet the "Wallers" ?

_Who, what are these people?_ You wonder  watching them swing two and fro on their wires like crazed puppets in the wind.

It wasn't that you hadn't seen this equipment before, in fact you had taught yourself to use it after seeing it on some of the dead. You even learned to repair it, after sneaking into one of the tiny villages of survivors nearby.

The north village mountain village had this kind of gear too and a group that said they were the “new humans.” Those strange people lived the south, closer to the giant walls. 

Neither of these groups of people though, they weren't nearly as good with them as these new strangers. They must be from the prison city. 

You shivered slightly as your (h/c) Hair was whipped about by the wind. What is it like behind those great stone mountains that the elders called walls? You had been taught there was nothing  there, only the remnant of a society that thought they were free, but never had walked the world.

You don’t remember where you were born, but you have lived your entire life outside those walls. You were strong, fast, and with the number of fallen these strange people left behind, you always had the equipment you needed to be able to fight and fly like they did. 

All you knew for certain is every year your village got smaller and smaller. People like you, the defenders were starting to be eaten by more and more intelligent versions of these “titan” monsters. You wanted to know more. You needed to understand why this kept happening. So did your people. 

The elders asked you to leave, to watch for another of these strange flying armies. You had been asked to go with them, if they would allow it… to learn what they knew of the hungry giants.

The black haired man you were watching was destroying the nearest Titans. This is actually what drew your attention. Mountains of steam, steam in your forest. Originally you were worried there was a fire. Yes, there was that much steam.

Perfect. That’s what he was. He flipped back from killing another beast, then landed on a branch across from where you were. You noticed his eyes though. He seemed distanced, cold… as if he had bottled his emotions. This, was not what you wanted your first experience with these caped ones to be.

You fired your gear, moving deftly and swiftly through the trees to another location watching the steam and the beasts below. You thought you might have heard something behind you but when you glanced over there was nothing to see. 

Little by little you survey more of these people. Many have fought and lost against the beasts. In fact, if this was an ordinary day: you would be here with others gathering gear, tanks and blades off of the bodies of the fallen. Anything that wasn't too broken to use would be salvaged. You were a scavenger.

You flew around to a third group. This one had a woman with brown hair and crazy eyes. She wore strange glasses and seemed overly excited at this battle. Why would anyone be so happy to fight? You watched her, in a strange sort of trance. She was… alive… Pure energy.

She flew from the titan she had just slain and landed on a second one. She stood there a moment on its head. The stupid giant wasn't smart enough to do anything about her. You moved closer, so close now that you could hear her monologue with the yellow haired giant. 

“You’re such a handsome one, aren't you? I wish I could keep you. Oh I wish I could keep them all. But we can’t have you eating my friends now can we? Oh, it’s okay… I won’t hurt you… it won’t hurt a bit and it’ll be over soon I promise!” She yelled loudly just before dropping down again and killing this beast. She used those wires to fly to another branch, not very far from where you were. 

_Whoever this is, she is very different._ You think to yourself. _Maybe I found the one that can help me with the elder’s quest… to learn about them, to learn from them._

You moved closer to this strange female, not sure how to greet or address her. At least she was speaking common language. It would be too hard if she hadn't. You saw her start to launch off again and you knew your time was short. 

“Hey! Wait!” She hadn't heard you. Her wires went flying as she went towards another group of the titans. You sigh, shifting your gear and start to follow but stop. Out of instinct, you check your fuel. Time to make a trip downward.

You drop to the ground, running past the legs of the hungry monsters. While down here you are very vulnerable, but without fuel this weight on your waist from your gear would be nothing but death. Finally you stumble upon a body. This one is torn in half. You can only imagine where the top is now, the gear is intact though. You take a few blades topping off your meager supply and shift through the tanks.

This poor soul had hardly used their gear, the tanks were full and you replaced all of yours. There was a sound nearby, a shuffling, loud movement. You glanced up to see a slowly moving titan wandering towards you.  

Picking up the pace you finish replacing your gear, when you hear a strange sound… it was muffled… was it crying? You glance around quickly, taking time to analyze how close the red monster was to you. As you survey your surroundings you see a person nearby. 

You walk towards that body. It must be a body; no one survives on the ground like this. As you approach it, you notice two things. It is not torn apart badly, only a few wounds here and there, and it is breathing. You grab this person, not caring to see much more about them, and propel upwards to the trees, carrying the wounded wall person with you.

You set this little person down on the branch of the large trees. Moving the cloak and cape so you can see better, you see it is definitely a male. You are a little surprised, by his height. He is short, around an hundred and fifty five to an hundred and fifty eight centimeters. Probably the smallest man you had ever met: shorter even than that black haired man from before. 

His head is shaved closely but seems to be covered in dark hair. His eyes are closed and you wonder whether they will open again. Still, he is breathing… that must be a good sign.  His clothes are like the ones everyone else wears but they are torn. He’s bleeding from several places and you know your meager medical kit won’t be enough to save him by itself. 

You examine him a moment, before figuring out his largest wound is this one across his stomach, and he is bleeding badly from it. You cut away his shirt and pull loose his straps quickly. This male is very lean and seems to have a strong set of muscles. You look at the wound.

It is deep and oozing blood. You use the remnant of his shirt, tearing a piece of it out, you blot the wound clean so you can see better. This isn't one you should treat on the fly, but it will kill him if it isn't closed. You sigh, running your hand and some of his blood across your forehead. The others have gotten away from you a distance. You sigh… you had to be the hero.

You pull a needle and thread out of your kit. You pour your water pack into the wound, trying to wash away the debris, then use what little antiseptic you have on your hands and the wound itself. 

You start stitching, alternating between blotting at this wound and stitching the inner most parts of it. If you can close the muscle wall it won’t kill him, and you can get him back to repair the rest of the damage. Maybe his people have doctors who can do something? Yes… perhaps that is the route to go. 

Once you stitch together the muscle, you clean the wound again and pack it full of the last of your gauze. _I hope this isn't in vain. I hate to see someone die just because I don’t have supplies_ You think to yourself. You cut what is left of his shirt to help with bandaging his wound, then pick him up and secure him to the belts for your gear. 

You fly off again, moving towards another huge flash of steam from the east. They must be on the move again. You follow this, hoping to come across more of these strange green cloaked people. Someone must be able to help you. 

There she is again… that strange woman from before. The man with the dark hair and her standing in the trees now, surveying their losses with a taller blonde haired man... I guess now is as good of time as any. 

You land on the end of the large limb they are standing on. You weren't exactly expecting a warm response, but the one you get is strange to you. The black haired man draws his weapons, extending them towards you. 

“What the hell is this?” He asks motioning towards you and the man you have been carrying.

He doesn't get a lot of time to talk before the brown haired woman comes rushing over to look at you. She is jumping up and down, and it's a wonder she doesn't drop herself right off the tree. 

“Oh my gosh, it’s Springer. She found Springer!” The strange woman yells. She grabs you and hugs you tightly, spinning you and the man with you around. “And look, she’s so cute. I've never seen anyone like her, look at her clothes. Oh… Ooh.. do you speak? Can you speak?” 

She grabs your face crushing it between her hands. Her brown eyes stare into your (e/c) ones and you aren't quite sure what to say. 

“Um… that kinda hurts…” You finally mutter. 

“Gosh, she has a cute voice… Levi… Erwin can we keep her?!” She lets go of your face again and you can finally talk normally. 

“Look. I know you’re all happy and such... but this guy really, really needs to see a doctor. He’s hurt bad and I don’t want to see him die.” You say looking at them. They seem shocked by your words. _I suppose it makes sense. I’m a total stranger, dressed in their gear, using their weapons and worrying about their wounded._

Your clothes though are very different from theirs. But it is refreshing to you that these people don’t have monster teeth like some of the stories say.

The dark haired guy doesn't seem to trust you. The blonde one doesn't show much either way. “Hange…”

“Look she even saved Springer, maybe she’s not a bad person.  Plus, she must live out here somewhere, imagine what she knows about the titans. We have to ask her. How does someone survive out here? What are the titans like, do they bother you? Are there more of you? Are you a titan?” The last question makes you give her a very strange look.

“I’m not a giant… and my skin isn't all red and funny, why on earth would I be a titan?” You ask. Not that you haven’t seen the odd village and their people who turn into titans, but this is just a weird question.

“Where are you from? Where do you live? How do you survive out here? Why are you wearing our gear?” She asks shooting off more and more questions, jumping up and down. She takes your hands in hers. “What’s your name?”

 _Ah, finally something I can answer!_ “(Name, last name)” You say. “I've always been out here… we talk sometimes about wall people, but I've never seen one close… The gear? Some of our villagers make them now, but… we…” You look at them and blush, then lower your eyes. “We’re scavengers. We bury your dead at the village edge then take what we need to survive.”

The stormy eyes of the dark haired man look straight through you. You can’t tell if he has emotions or not, but you do think he’s disgusted by what you just said. Then again, in a way maybe he should be. You don’t know how they treat their dead and technically these are their supplies.

The blonde haired man walks past them a minute. “Erwin Smith.” He says then he motions at the other two. “Hange Zoe and Levi Ackerman.” 

_What strange names._ You think to yourself. You nod, quietly.

“Can we get the short guy here help?” You say motioning to the one you've been hauling about. “And well.. can I come with you? I've only heard about the wall city… There are so many legends and I’m curious.. I won’t be a bother.”

Hange grabs your hands. “I can watch her.  She can stay with me.” 

“That would be nice… thanks…” You say. The other two look at each other a moment. 

“Hange, let’s get back to the group, (last name) follow us. When we get back to headquarters we’ll discuss this more.”  Smith says. You follow them, still carrying ‘Springer’ with you.

You follow them back from the expedition. As soon as you are to the wagons they request your gear, then place the man you were carrying in with the wounded. You hate the idea of giving up your gear, and try talk them into letting you keep it until you are inside of the walls, after all, you can use it, and you can fight if needed. This just doesn't happen. 

They left you in the wagon with the wounded, so you took it upon yourself to check on the ones closes to where you were. While traveling about the small wagon, you were careful not to fall. This would only injure them further and maybe yourself too. You find so many people who have so much pain in their eyes. You've seen that look before, the day the titans raided the old village. The day your parents died.

That’s why the elders chose you after all.  You had no family. As far as you knew, you had no friends left either, just the people who had come to rely on you as one of the many village protectors. 

You bandaged a few of the people in this wagon, then wandered back to sit next to the front of it. There you found ‘Springer’ again. He still had not woken up, probably better really. You checked some of his other wounds, and wiped at the gash in his forehead gently with the last clean cloth you had. 

Something about this wounded boy triggered a sort of protective instinct. You weren't going to let anyone hurt him.

You looked up at the scene the wagons were quickly closing in on. You turned around, kneeling to see what was before you. These walls… You've heard stories, but these are huge. They go clear up to the sky, taller than the trees taller than the mountains maybe. You’ve never seen anything like them.

You gasp, staring at the giant gates before you. _What is this place, who built it? Why? How did they make it so huge?_ Your mind was filling up with a million questions. You kept them to yourself, but you were startled to hear a familiar voice next to you, outside the wagon.

“Pretty impressive isn't it?” Smith asked you. You looked at him then back at the walls, your mouth still agape.

“It… is…” You say softly. “For a prison…” You sigh. You hadn't meant to say it out loud and hopefully he didn't hear you. Most people wouldn't want to know others think of their home as a prison. You feel a little guilty for saying it at all.

You watch as villagers gather. You can hear all of their comments. Some are in shock over the numbers of dead and wounded. Some of the children seem impressed at the sacrifices these people made. But oh so many more cursed this “Recon Corps” as a waste of precious space and resources, and a waste of life.

 _What have I gotten myself into?_ You wonder. You’ll know soon enough. You head back with this ragtag group towards their headquarters.


	3. Prison Cells and Patients

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren, Hange, and Connie on the scene!

After arriving at the headquarters you were placed in the dungeons. Not that you were expecting much. They did promise to take that boy you helped to their infirmary at least. 

Now, here you are alone in a dimly lit room with bars in front of it. Strange how these wall people love their prisons so. You were promised by Smith that they would get back to you. That woman Hange was absolutely determined that you were going to stay with her.

You think back a bit on the short time spent with the ones here. You didn’t dislike anyone you met, other than that Levi character and honestly you didn’t know him that well. Maybe he warms up to people over time. Some in your village are that way, cold at first, even cruel until they get to know you. 

_Your village… home… It is just a small community a few thousand people at best but you all do your best to get by. The mountains on either side had kept the monsters away, sheer cliffs and random drops being the primary reason titans never came there._

_Still, over the years titan attacks became more and more common. About ten years ago, the titans attacking started acting intelligent. They would escape the traps or bypass them all together. Some even started fighting back._

_Your village had no choice, they needed help.  The offer for help had come from a neighboring village, and you had grown into a strange uneasy peace. A peace, you personally could never trust. Not that thinking of that right now is helping._

You shuffle your feet slightly, looking for a more comfortable angle to sit. They had taken your pack of things: clothes, food, etc. You assumed it was so they could make sure you were not a danger to them.

Still, you were hungry and you really wished you could get to the food you had. Either the dried berries or preserved meat would be nice right now. You hadn’t eaten in hours.

You heard a strange noise on the stairs. Good, maybe now they will let you out. Isn’t it obvious you aren’t there to hurt them? Instead of the three you knew, a different young man stood at the gate in front of you.

“Hey… I thought you might be hungry.” He said. His dark brown hair laid in a sort of sloppy mess across his blue green eyes. _Blue green doesn’t do it justice, this color is so intense, there really needs to be a better term for it._ You thought to yourself. There’s something more about him… inside his eyes, deep inside them you see fire and hunger and the word controller comes to mind… _Strange, I haven’t had one of these impressions in a long time._

“Thanks.” You say quietly. He holds out his hand, when yours meets his he places a hard crusty bit of bread in it. You smile, it’s better than nothing; maybe it is all he has. The boy is pretty skinny. 

“No problem.” He says. “I’m Eren by the way.”

“(Name).” You say. “Eren would you stay a while?” You ask, not really wanting to be alone anymore. He looks at you with an odd expression. _Oh maybe that sounded too forward._ “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have asked, you really don’t know me. I’m just kind of tired of being down here alone.”

“Actually I know that feeling.” He said. He smiles a moment. “I don’t have to report back for a while. I’ve already finished my cleaning duty today.”

“Thank you.” You say softly. You break off a piece of the bread and nibble it quietly. Really it doesn’t taste bad, but it’s certainly not as good as the bread you’re used to. 

“Are you really from the outside?” He asks. His eyes are eager and you can’t help but smile.

“Yes… This is the first time I’ve ever been in the walls.” You reply. 

“What’s it like?” He asks. “I mean my friend and I found a book once. It talked about giant lakes called oceans, dry places called deserts, snow, so many things.” 

“Is my world so strange to you?” You ask smiling brightly. “It is beautiful outside… Those things really do exist. Those vast oceans, they are so large it takes months to travel by boat. The deserts are dry, but strangely even without water have some of the most interesting life. It snows in our village, every year the ground is covered in cold white powder. Children make little people out of the snow!” You say excited. You start giggling at the way his eyes just get wider and wider. “Maybe your friend can join us sometime; we can talk about my world more.” 

“Armin would love that and so would I.” Eren says. His voice raises in pitch some. His excitement just seems to trickle out of every bit of him. You smile again. “Oh and he’d probably love your accent. Your voice is just so neat to listen to.” With that Eren blushes suddenly. Then again, so do you.

“My… voice?” You ask. “I noticed, the way you say words is different than some of mine, but I didn’t really think about it. Is my voice that different?”

“Yeah, but it’s pretty.” He says, blushing again. “Um… So yeah, actually we can talk more later. I have to get back, but my room is right there.” He points at the cell next to yours. “So if you are still here tonight, you don’t have to stay alone.”

“Thank you, that sounds nice.” You reply. Eren seems pretty nice and it kind of makes you sad to see him leave.  Still, it gives you hope. If there are friendly people here, it won’t be too bad staying even if you have to live in a cage. _Wait… I forgot to ask him. I want to know how that boy is doing…_ You don’t know why, but somehow, you just feel like you should check on him. 

A short time later you are greeted by an overly excited Hange. She is jumping up and down so hard that she can hardly handle the key in the door. In fact, she’s dropped it twice already by the time you get up and put your hands through the bars and take one of hers.

“It’s okay, just calm down.” You say softly. She looks at you with a big grin.

“They said I can keep you, can you believe it? I get to keep you with me, but they want me to bring you here to sleep, unless you’re in my lab. So if you want, we could just work on experiments all night and talk about titans and the outside world. Maybe we could do crazy stuff like prank the boys, or hey, I know we can tell girly stories!” She is talking so fast now you’re having a hard time catching things, but she does somehow manage to get the door tumblers to release their grip on the wall.

“That’s… great.” You say, you aren't really sure about this woman but she seems very nice. Of course, she is hyper, overly excitable and talks faster than a village of ten year olds, but she seems nice. _Oh that’s right I was going to ask about…_ “Hange, right?” You want to make sure you aren't learning the names improperly, you’d really hate to offend anyone.

“Yes. Oh your accent is so adorable!” She says. 

“Am I saying it wrong?” You ask with a sort of concerned look. You don’t want to offend anyone.

“No, you’re fine cutie.” She says. “Oh, I wanted to ask you about these clothes, is it true they are made from animals?” She looks somewhere between fascinated and mortified by the idea. It sort of makes you want to laugh.

“We don’t like throwing things away. We use the skin for cold weather clothes, they are very warm. There is very little we can’t use. The bones we use for chimes, jewelry, tools…  We try to waste very little.” You reply. “Anyway I wanted to ask. How is that boy ‘Springer’? He was hurt so badly when I found him…”  She cuts you off from focusing back on that moment by grabbing your wrist tightly.

“Come see!” She smiles. “The medic said he would have died, but someone put him back together enough they could save him and anyway they were wanting to know who fixed him!” She laughs. “You’re getting to be a legend already. Before long everyone’s going to be talking about you.” 

_What if I don’t want everyone talking about me?_ You think to yourself. You would say something but she’s rattling on so fast. _How can she drag me down the hall, jump, skip and talk that fast all at once? It has to be impossible!_

You don’t really get to take in your surroundings much. This building is like a long tunnel, lanterns or candles here and there to light it, but otherwise just long halls of stone with lots of doors. Hange takes you down the halls and into a side passage. This one has sunlight filtering through perfectly placed tiny windows.  At least it is natural light! 

Finally you find your way to a room that you can smell before you see it. The scent hits you harder than you like to think. There is clean bleached smell first. It is almost overpowering and chemical, burning slightly at your nose. The next smell is familiar. The metallic sticky smell that is almost warm and abrasive, it permeates the hallway, as if the bleach was trying to hide it. The smell of unwashed bodies, cleaning agents, soaps, infections… 

You shake your head. _So many smells, when did my nose get this sensitive._

You take a breath as she leads you into the infirmary. So this is what their medical buildings look like. You want to gag. You see before you at least 2 dozen wounded. Some in better shape than others.

Many look like their wounds are poorly treated or infected, perhaps from the battle today. Injuries from titans can swell and infect easily, especially if they are from one of the weird ones. You scan across the room. There is a limited number of medical staff and so many who are hurt.

“Is it always like this?” Your voice drops from your lips. You hadn't even intended to speak but this… this actually appalls you. These people need help.

“Yes, but we get so much information every time! And this time we got you… You've probably got so much you can teach and help us with. Maybe someday we can understand the titans, maybe we can stop them, or ask if they will stop, or have them as pets, or... oh I don’t know!” Hange’s chocolate eyes glimmer behind her glasses. _How can she sound so hopeful all of the time?_

You almost feel him before you see him, although that sounds strange to say. It’s like a wind draws you towards that boy again. You start to follow the soft whispering sound that is drawing you in. _It feels like… eternity… so close, but it’s not him who is about to die._ Ugh… those sensations.

You reach his side and smile. Most of his wounds are tended now. There is one on his head could use a decent bandage change. You look around, finding another medical kit and get to work changing his bandage and cleaning the wound. As you unwind the bandage you hear a strange noise behind you. 

“Oh my god, how cute!! You two should totally consider dating, I mean the two of you together, wouldn't that be awesome? You could have babies with his hair and your (e/c) eyes, and they would have your strange pretty looks. That would be soo adorable!” Hange is just squealing and giggling now, dancing around in a circle. _Um.. I don’t even know what to say to that… maybe I should just finish up here…_

You carefully check the wound; it’s healing nicely and the stitches that are there aren’t too sloppy, despite it having four when it clearly only needed two or three. You bandage him back up, then look him over again.

While you are there, you set a hand gently on his chest for balance as you trace your fingers across the wound that you had stitched. You don’t feel any abnormal heat or moisture through the bindings, but you know these need changed as well. 

Without a second thought you change his bandage, pulling the old messed gauze out of the wound. You notice they haven’t stitched this any better, apparently they decided your emergency patch was good enough. You shake your head and wash your hands with antiseptic. Then return to treating him. You patch his wound the rest of the way, stitching the outer layers of skin back where they belong and you bandage him back up.

You start to get up when a very weak grasp grips your wrist. You turn, looking at him. His eyes are very beautiful, a soft golden brown with just a hint of green. You set down the rest of the medical supplies and turn back to him, earning another odd squeal from Hange. _I’m not convinced that woman isn't half animal…_

“Who… did you…” The boy’s voice is broken and scratchy. He seems at a loss for words and struggling to say something. You grab the chair and sit next to his bedside.

“Can I help you?” You ask staring at him. He seems confused at your presence and a little relieved. Maybe he just didn't want to be alone.

“The forest… saw you…” He continued. He let go of your hand, putting his own over his bandaged side. “Ugh… hurts.”

“Yes. I’m the one who found you and patched you up, Springer… You should rest. We can talk later.” He smiles weakly. You grin. “Anyway I sort of have to get back to Hange again, before she gets another crazy idea!” You grin and he smiles a little bigger. Then you grab his hand and squeeze it gently, before walking away. 

“To the lab? Oh we’re going to have so much fun! I can’t wait to show you everything I’m working on. There’s so many projects. We don’t just study titans you know, even though that’s our main area of focus. We study so many different kinds of things.” She keeps prattling on  as you walk down the hallway and you find yourself tuning her out a bit until you hear her say. “Then there’s Eren, he can actually turn into a titan! We don’t know how it works, but he just does!”

“Is he from outside the walls?” I ask softly. “He seemed very nice when we spoke… not like the others…” You realized just then, that you might have said too much. Her eyes went so wide at the mention of others. 

“There’s others? Like more titan shifters? Where, when? How did you find one? Wait are you one? Can I do an experiment on you?” She says all but shouting and dancing. You’re still in the middle of the hallway and people are starting to gather around. 

“No, Hange, just no… I’ll explain where it’s quieter, but please! Settle down just a little. You’re going to break the ceiling jumping about like that.”

“See you are so cute! The things you say. We should find you a super cute boyfriend. Oh but first, let’s go ahead and get where you can answer some questions for me!!”  With saying those words, Hange grabs your wrist, dragging you all the way to her office. 

She flips her arm out, spinning you into the room and you almost fall down, but are caught in the arms of someone who is already there. You blink a couple of times, trying to shed the surprise and dizziness. You look up to see those same intensely beautiful eyes as before. _Eren… wait, I’m in his arms, this isn’t… gah!_

“Oh… I’m sorry Eren!” You yell bursting out of his arms and righting yourself quickly. You’re blushing now. Not only did you fall on him, but the second you got away you sort of missed being in his arms! This thought only left you blushing more. 

“It’s okay… I just… couldn't let you fall you know?” He seems to be struggling with his words, a soft pink creeping across his nose and cheeks. 

“Oh, (name) you seem to have won the attention of a lot of boys already! This is going to be perfect for you! You’ll love it here.” Hange says. You start blushing again and try to hide yourself. This is going to be an interesting stay…


	4. Strange Foods and Beautiful Tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin, Mike and whatever they are serving and calling breakfast...

Hange has had you and Eren up all night with her ‘experiments’ which you’ve officially concluded are attempts to get you two together. At one point she even decided it would be awesome to study whether or not shifter males react the same way to getting kissed… and went into a little tantrum because you weren’t ready to kiss him, even though he is cute.

All in all, you survived the night with neither you nor Eren ending up in too embarrassing of situations and a lot to laugh over the next morning.  But now you’re very tired and it’s time to begin your day.

Hange comes up beside you, noticing your drooping eyelids and stuffs a cup in your hands. You sniff it, cautiously. After all, this is Hange and you've already learned that she is willing to do some pretty strange things. 

The cup smells warm and earthy. The liquid is very dark and it has kind of an abrasive scent. It seems to permeate through your nose and you aren't sure you want to touch it. You must have the strangest look right now, because Hange gets to giggling again. 

“It’s not poisoned (Name). It’s just coffee. I know it’s pretty rare, but you look utterly exhausted.” Hange says. This time she sounds genuinely concerned and you look at the cup again. “It should give you a bit of an energy boost. It does for me anyway.” She smirks at you. Now you aren't sure if it’s safe or not.

You gingerly put the cup to your lips, hoping that whatever it is, it isn't too bad. _No, maybe it’s worse than bad._ You gag, it tastes to you like a combination of dirt, dust, and acid. You start coughing almost instantly and stare at the cup a minute trying to catch your breath. The stupid drink leaves your throat feeling a little sore and dry. You look at Hange putting on an ultimate look of betrayal.

“What the hell was that?” No… you almost never swear, but this cup had to be the spawn of something ungodly…

“The taste never bothered me…” She said taking your cup and finishing it off. “Did it help you wake up any?”

 

“That flavor could wake the dead.” You retort quickly. “And I’m starving.”

“Oh… That’s right it’s time for breakfast. Now we can see what the mystery breakfast of the day is. Yay! This is always so much fun. I never know who’s cooking or what it will be.” Hange starts bouncing again and takes your hand to guide you out of the door. 

“Yeah… sounds fun.” You echo. This might be another long day. You realize suddenly you are still wearing the skins you had on yesterday. “Hange, can’t I get cleaned up first?” 

“Why? You look cute!” She says still dragging you along. You sigh and resign yourself to going to the place they make food, looking awful.

As approach the room you hear a warm, soft murmur. There’s laughter and chatter going on and it seems people are enjoying themselves. You smile at the sound. It reminds you a bit of the commons hall, in the evenings when the old ones gather to tell stories. What you were not prepared for was the sudden onslaught of silence.

When Hange dragged you into the room, everyone stopped talking. They just kind of stared at you. They must have heard you were from beyond the walls, but even if they hadn't, the doe skin outfit you wore might have given you away. Or the feathers and beads pinned into your hair on the left side. (Hange had asked you last night to put them back in, when she went through your bags and asked about them.)

Your (length) (h/c) was in a style that wasn't familiar to them. You looked almost as strange to them as they did to you. They all dressed the same, only minor variations in their clothing and it confused you. There was so little individuality. _Is this how the wall people all are, or just this group?_ You find yourself wondering. 

As they stare at you, you have to resist the urge to act out. After all you’re here to find out about the wall people, but that mean that you’re the only representation they have of the free people too. You don’t want to give a bad impression. You say nothing but sort of give a knowing smile to the room. 

Hange motions for you to sit at a table in the corner. The people here are older than everyone else. The place she picks for you is just a few people down from Levi. 

Levi is sitting with his back against the wall at the end of the table, with his teacup in his hand.  His hand is covering the top of it. You wonder about this habit, you’ve seen others do it during storms to keep the dust or debris from falling into it. He must be from a place different than a lot of the people who live here. Maybe that’s why he’s so unfriendly.

He seems to notice you looking at him, so you go back to scanning the rest of the room. Slowly the dull noise has returned even though you have a feeling you’re the topic of discussion for most of the people here now. It makes you a little uncomfortable.  That isn't the only thing that does… You sense…

Suddenly you feel a presence right behind you and before you can stop to think about it you have grabbed whoever it is and flipped them to land flat on their back on the table. You step back away from them, looking at them. You’re unsure what to do, you have no weapons. It really was just a sudden reaction to that presence, but you’re worried it will confuse the people standing here watching. 

You finally look closer at this man. He is tall, very tall in fact.  Actually he is an hundred and ninety-six centimeters at a guess. (Six feet five inches). It takes you a few more seconds to realize the man is grinning at his situation. You sigh, not sure what to do when you hear a voice.

“Looks like she didn't like that… idiot…” The voice says and people start laughing. The mood lightens a bit and the stoic man who spoke simply goes back to his tea. The man you just threw rolls off the table and looks at you with the strangest smile.

“Maybe another time.” Without another word he just walks away, leaving you and apparently a few others more than a little confused.

“Hange… I’m confused…” You say as Hange approaches with a plate of food for each of you.

“That’s okay cutie right now most of us are. That was Mike Zachariaus. The confusing part is he spoke to you.” She laughs softly. “Things are just getting more and more interesting around you, (name).” She ruffles your hair, which you have to try again to get straightened out.

“Was he… sniffing me?” You ask quietly. The man reminded you of an animal, not dangerous really, just curious. He was sniffing the air, sensing things from it. Your own time in the wild has given you some extra senses as well. 

“It’s a thing he does.” Hange says. “Let me go get you a drink okay?” She sets the tray of ‘food’ down in front of you.

 _Oh my titan, what on earth is this junk…_ You think to yourself. _It looks like a mushy sort of soupy paste… there is no meat, how is a warrior supposed to live without meat and this bread? It looks like it was left over from yesterday!_ You try to be gracious, after all it seems no one had issues with this food other than you… but what IS it?

You decide to try tasting it… once you figure out it’s meant to be eaten with a spoon. It tastes so bland and you’re confused what it actually is at all. Finally you give up and try dipping the hard bread in it. 

Okay, this is kind of manageable at least, but it still is nearly flavorless. You finish up your breakfast, while breaking just long enough to drink down an entire glass of water to kill the sort of pasty sensation it leaves behind. _Mental note: try feeding these people something decent, whatever this was… it should come with a warning label._ You can see the echo of these thoughts in one or two of the people here and smile that not all of them are without taste.

You catch a glimpse of Eren sitting with a dark haired girl with steel colored eyes, and a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. You smile as his eyes meet up with yours. Hange looks at each of you then nudges you softly.

“Go  sit with him… get to know the other cadets while you’re at it.” She says with another of her strange grins. Now you’re fairly sure she’s plotting something again but say nothing. It’s going to be nice to just get a short break from Hange.

You grin prancing delightedly over to where Eren sat with his friends. You stand across the table and ask sweetly. “Is it alright if I join you?” Eren looks up at you. Those pretty turquoise eyes capture yours and you smile. 

“Of course… This is Mikasa and Armin.” He says pointing each of his friends as he says their name.. He motions towards you. “And this is (Name).”

Armin looks at you with wide questioning eyes. They are so blue, and his hair sits almost to his shoulders. He looks so innocent and a glance into his eyes tells you even more. He is a thinker and a dreamer, you can see wisdom in his eyes but he is so innocent.

“Y… you’re the one from… outside the walls right?” Armin says. He seems to be struggling with speaking, or maybe he is shy. You smile at him, gently touching his hand where it sits on the table before pulling away again.

“Yes.” You say.

“Is it… is it true?” He didn't really clarify for a minute and you stared at him. You weren't sure what he meant. After that minute, give or take, he spoke again. “I mean, I had a book. It talks about oceans, and forests, and snow, and deserts… about so many animals… I just…” He cuts himself off. “Oh I’m talking so fast, I’m sorry that was so rude…”.

You giggle and he stops. “It’s okay, Armin. I actually got a similar reaction earlier.” You grin at Eren. “I've seen most of those things, actually. I can’t say if your book is right, but they do exist.”

He looks like he has a thousand questions, and you’d love to answer them all, especially when you see that abundance of hope in his eyes. _He had a book. I wonder if he hopes my life, my stories could replace it._ You ponder that a moment before you hear his voice again.

“Tell us a story… Something about a place you've been.” He asks with pleading eyes. _A story, which one… oh, the lake without an end. His eyes… they remind me of the way the water looks with the sun over it._ Your thoughts reply quickly. 

“There is a lake without end.” You start and you see his eyes light up. You must have picked the perfect topic, if he isn't always this excited. “Past the trail south of the old mountains, it is quite a journey, but there is a place where the land feels like salt, yet it is wet and sticky as well. The air is humid and warm, like the moments just after a summer rain. That very salty ground, the golden white sands… They collect the sun, reflecting it’s beauty. If you tried to hold them, they would slip through your fingers, leaving only a trace, a memory of their sensations.” By now a crowd is gathering at your words, but you want so much to continue, his eyes keep getting wider and his mouth is now hanging open.

“Past these sun-kissed white grains is a lake like no other. We call it the ocean, but it looks like a lake. A lake made of salty water. You can see it; traveling clear to the end of your vision here it almost looks like it curves away into the sky. It doesn't seem to carry an end in any direction. If you stayed long enough, the sun would fall over the southern side of the sky, casting those same orange and pink hues into the then stormy looking water. The stars would shift into the sky, and later the moon, who would grow huge as it reached the furthest end of the horizon. The water teams with life, animals that are shaped like stars, fish that breach the water and something called dolphins. They are beautiful, intelligent, they breathe like us, but can hold their breath for so long. Swimming with one? It is a little like letting your wires carry you through the water, swiftly flying until they release you.” You sigh softly, realizing how much you miss this place. _So many words but I can’t seem to stop! I guess promising myself I wouldn't do this isn't working._ “There are so many things to discover, to see… I wish I had time to begin to explain it all, but that ocean… it will haunt you in the sweetest ways, like a lake that never ends…”

A part of you wants to cry as you become suddenly nostalgic. The last time you saw the ocean was with a man you had promised to marry. One you would never see again, not just because of your choice to come to these walls… He had boarded one of the great ships and never returned to your shores. _Jericho, where did you go for seven years?_  No, that time had long passed and you had promised the elders to let it go. You smile back at the boy who is still staring at you, lost in your story and lost in his own mind. Suddenly your thoughts are interrupted by a slow, loud clapping that gains speed.

This made you realize a few things: First, Armin was not the only one listening to your tale. Second, for some inexplicable reason you felt the need to dance while talking about it. You blush suddenly, looking around you.

Your story had many people wide eyed, or with their eyes closed as if taking in a vision of what you had said. Most of these people were young and still fully ready to dream. What surprised you was to see a soft glint across the face and eyes of the stormy raven haired man. As if, for just a moment he had lost himself against the serious and cold world he was used to. 

You become a little shocked at the sheer number of people staring at you now, and grow very uncomfortable. Your thoughts from earlier echo again in your mind. _What if I don’t want them to notice me?_ You think again, it’s far too late. _Oh what have I done…_

You stand, politely excusing yourself and walk from the room. As soon as you are out, you take off down the hallway to hide back in the crazy sanctity of Hange’s office. There you sit, wondering what you can do to stop yourself from being the center of attention. After all, back home you were a defender, a guardian, nothing more and people hardly paid you mind except to thank you and move on. 

Here, you are an enigma, a mystery and so very much a part of the world people only dream of. This, is going to get more and more difficult as more people become aware of what you really are. You sigh, sitting on Hange’s chair with your head in your hands. _If I didn't have a mission, I would just go home._ You think to yourself… Still, you must help your village, somehow.

With a renewed sense of purpose, you find yourself finally relaxing and leaning into Hange’s desk, where you find your eyes closing for the first time in quite a while. You drift off to dreams.


	5. Meeting the Commander and a Little History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some alone time with the Commander.   
> Explaining your History.

You woke with a start, unsure really what had caused you to wake. Your muscles were aching from the position with your head on the desk. _Oh yeah, I fell asleep in the strange woman’s office._ A voice reached you; maybe it’s the thing that pulled you from your sleep to begin with.

“Oi, brat awake yet?” The voice was masculine and flowed gently. It reminded you a bit of the wide river near your home. 

You blink, rubbing at your eyes to block out the harshness of the orange light filtering in from outside. _Orange… wait, is it evening already?_

“Sorry… I fell asleep.” You say staring at the man who was talking to you. Oh yeah, it’s the one from the forest…  The dark-haired one.

“Could care less, brat… The commander wanted to see you.” He says flatly. Okay so cold is probably the way he chooses to be. You look him over, glancing into those steel eyes and for a moment are almost shocked at what your heightened senses see. _Is that, actually a bit of kindness? What is it about this man?_ Your people weren't really one to hide their emotions, not like this one does.

“Alright.” You say, stretching as you stand. You’re more stiff than you imagined, then again you normally don’t sleep hunched over sprawled on a desk. You start to follow this man out of the room.

 

~~~~~ Levi’s POV (a few minutes ago) ~~~~

 

Erwin sent me to go look for the little shit that we found in the forest. That girl, she’s so strange yet there’s something almost magical about her. Hell it’s probably just boredom and the fact she’s different from everyone here. It’s not that any of us complain but it is strange she came from nowhere, looking to be friends.

She claims not to be a shifter though that could be any manner of truth. Erwin had decided to let hange keep her like a damn dog. 

_Why would anyone keep a person as a pet. Then again why do I care, we know nothing about this person. Still, when we were all in the mess hall, she did something strange, something that affected everyone there. I hate to admit, even me. That story, the way she moved, the sound of her voice… I could almost see what she meant, almost smell it, like a dream in the back of my mind…. Strange magic indeed, this girl must be dangerous somehow. If she can take command of my senses… Hell I’m the strongest here, for her to distract even me that way. Strange little shit…_ Levi thinks to himself. _Damn mental monologue, I swear I’m losing my fucking mind…_

At Erwin’s request I went looking for the little devil. Where else would she be but Hange’s office. Strangely missing was Hange herself. _Strange, maybe she cared enough to let this idiot sleep. How non-Hange of Hange…_

There she was, head down on the desk, hands on her arms. _Hange’s right she is kind of cute… Holy hell… That damn shitty glasses is getting into my head now._ I find myself shaking my head, forcing my normal expression to my face. Was I smiling, no, I just have to stretch my face once in a while.

“(Name)…” I called out, of course the little shit didn't respond… “Oi, (Name) wake up you stupid shit.” 

Her head shot up, those (e/c) eyes looking around the room, before her hands began to briskly rub them. Yep, she’s awake.

“Oi, brat, awake yet?” I demand. She just blinks at me, rubbing her eyes again. _Okay, so maybe she’s cute but she’s still a strange little shit._

 

~~~~ Normal POV ~~~~

You vaguely recall that you were introduced to this stoic little man, but you can’t quite remember his name. Not that it really matters; he seems completely uninterested in talking with you. You follow him swiftly down the hall, forgetting to even take note of all the turns you have taken.

It doesn't entirely matter; you were told you were going to talk with the commander. Perhaps that will clear up some things. Then, likely you’ll end up back in your cell… 

You shiver at the thought of a cell. Your people pride themselves on their freedom and independence and you've resigned yourself to being caged like a dangerous animal. 

You arrive at the commander’s office, still lost in thought. The short man knocks on the door to be greeted from the other side with an invitation. 

“Come in Levi.” The voice inside calls. _Yeah why was that name so hard to remember?_ You ask yourself. You realize you are uncharacteristically distracted, or maybe it is just a haze from being woken suddenly from your sleep. 

As you enter the room the large blonde motions towards the seat in front of his desk. Without a word you sit quietly, watching the tall man and the short man address each other.

“Thank you. You’re dismissed.” The commander says loudly. Levi pauses a moment looking at you, then quickly turns on his heel, walking out the door. _How does a man make that look downright sassy?_ You wonder.

“Now… (Name) I’d like you to answer me a few questions.” The commander says looking you over quietly. You know from the expression he is analyzing your moves. In fact you do it to everyone around you.  “Is that going to be a problem?”

“No sir.” You answer respectfully. Really you don’t want to be an issue, you’re just confused. The wall people have strange customs. Your own people would have simply accepted these strangers, without a second thought. Then again, maybe that’s why your people are in trouble…

“First, where are you from?” He asks casually, sitting back into his chair and just studying you.

“I’m from the north village in the mountains nearby.” You said. “We don’t really have names for most places, but we are near a larger village called Titus.” 

“So there are more people out there?” He asks, scratching his chin. His ice blue eyes cut into your (e/c) ones as he meets with them and you ponder a moment on what he is thinking.

“Yes sir… our village is a few thousand humans.” You say, his eyes widen a second, before returning to their cold watch, but his left eyebrow ticks up, inquisitively. 

“Few thousand?” He looks at you again and you feel him boring clean through your soul with those eyes. “How do you survive out there?”

“We live in a valley, surrounded mostly by cliffs, mountains and impassable terrain. The hunger… er… the titans still come, but we have defenders who ward them off.” You say growing proud at the mention of defenders. “Defenders… we watch the entries, we keep the titans at bay, kill them if we need to. We all fight…” Your voice fades off though on a sadder note… “We are becoming obsolete since the treaty with Titus…” Titus… it sends shivers down your spine. The ones who change… The titan people….

“I take it, you aren’t so keen on that treaty. May I ask why?”

“Titus… I am not supposed to tell anyone…” You say looking at him hopefully, but his eyes stare at you in a demand for an answer. “Titus, they change into the hunger… The titans… my people do not know. Years ago titans came, smart ones, they used tools, weapons… they attacked our village, killed so many, even my…“ You pause a moment, not even really wanting to say it… “My adopted brothers…”  You can feel his eyes on you, softening slightly at the mention of them before he quiets his expressions again. 

You continue speaking “The titans were beaten by the neighboring village who came to our aid, unexpectedly. We began a trade, goods for protection. Before long the only use the village had for the defenders was the occasional stray titan and delivering the wagons to the village.” You say with a sigh. 

“So how did you come to know of their change?” He asks. He is clearly intrigued now, the anger gone from his eyes and he leans forward, staring at you as you speak. In any other circumstance it would make you uncomfortable, but in this case, it doesn’t, something about him is strangely gentle. His eyes had softened greatly at the mention of your family. 

“I saw one change, after delivering a load of wares to them. My comrades were killed and I was left for dead in the back of our wagon.” You say cringing. “It’s why I’m here, honestly. The elder knew if I stayed I would die… and he wanted to learn the basics about the wall people… how they live, what they believe, maybe exchange knowledge…”

“You are a strangely honest person.” Erwin said observing you again. “I expected more resistance.”

“We believe honesty is one of the keys to freedom, you have to trust those around you… lies lead to troubles in trust. Lies are their own prison.” You answer, looking at him. “Your people don’t believe that?”

“Not entirely, not all of them anyway… The Scouting Legion is probably the most honest military regiment there is but even we have to keep our secrets.”

“Strange…” You look at him, contemplating a moment, then you feel it… “Something is bothering you though… something about me?” You ask. He looks puzzled and then pulls your bag from under his desk.

“Yes… These…” He drags out a stack of cloth scraps setting them on the desk before you.

You look them over, confused as you spread them lightly across the desk.  They are all small shields with wings like his uniform has. Each wing has below it a word, occasionally two are the same. You stare at them a moment, blinking…   _Where did these come from… Why are they in my bag?_

“I… what are they?” You ask. Not that you do not recall them, every member of the groups of dead you found have them, but… you don’t understand. “Our elder… he insisted that every single one of these be recovered… even the ones from the eaten fallen…” You shudder. “But I don’t know how they got in my… wait… he is the one who packed my bag.”

Erwin watches you carefully, your hand floating over the different badges. The mention of the eaten brings tears to your eyes and he is confused at first. Why should you have an attachment, to you they were strangers, but to him… they were his…

“I don’t know if you understand how important something like this is to the families. But perhaps your elder did.” He says gently. He looks at you. “You are dreadfully, painfully honest. It would be impossible to let you run around outside the headquarters. Tonight you stay in the dungeons, but tomorrow we will find you a room.” He says. You look at him.

“You may keep them, they are by no means mine and if it helps their family… It means a lot to be able to do that…“  You look at him, considering his suggestion about your own room and you speak again. “You aren't concerned about what I might be up to?” You ask, maybe you are just confused at the sudden change in demeanor that this man has towards you. He seems gentler now, strangely compassionate. 

“I’m more concerned what you will say, than anything. Inside these walls are so many laws, so many rules. Your entire life is a heresy… Your existence disproves every theory, law and faith that these people were brought up with. To be blunt, you are in danger if you are not here.” He says. “Anyway, it is time for dinner, go eat and then back to your dungeon for the night.  If you need help Levi’s office is down the hall about eight doors, on the right. He can lead you there. Hange’s office is two halls past that, a left turn to the end.” 

“Thank you, sir…” You reply, you are a little confused, but glad to feel welcomed at any rate. 

“No, (Name), Thank you. Even though you didn't know it, you brought back my fallen brothers. That means a lot more than I can explain.” He stands and you do the same, his hand lightly takes your elbow, guiding you gently to the door.  “Unless there are others around, you can call me Erwin.” He states. You look at him, slightly confused that he would ask you to be so familiar, but you smile anyway.

“Thank you, Erwin. Goodnight.” You grin. He hands you the rest of your belongings and you smile softly. Maybe this place isn't so bad. You turn, walking your way back down the hall, which is getting increasingly darker as the evening wears on. 

You do find your way to the mess hall without help. Hange, Levi and the others are already here. There is a brief silence upon your entering, and you wonder if it will always be like this. Silently you find your food and then turn for a place to sit. Hange motions you over. 

“(Name)!” Hange yells. Yep she definitely noticed you. She runs over grabbing your plate and your drink. “Come on, you’re sitting with us. Everyone wants to talk to you!” You sit, and after some brief introductions discover you are meeting with Petra, Eld, Gunther, and Oluo, all of whom had a strange imprint of a bite mark on their hands. You weren't inclined to inquire about that… 

Olou was the man with curly blonde hair, a cravat like the corporals and a sort of rough demeanor. His eyes were harsh, hazel and filled with some sort of hidden pain, but all in all an obnoxiously proud man. He really just seemed to be imitating their corporal a lot of the time. 

Petra, beautiful was a good word for her. She had brilliant red-orange hair and yellow-gold eyes. Her glances of anger at Olou weren't unnoticed by you, nor her slight glances of longing admiration at Levi. It almost made you smile watching her. 

Eld is quiet, blunt and honest. His blonde hair was split down the middle, and pulled into a folded ponytail at the back of his head. His brown eyes seemed focused and clear. You felt really that he had nothing on his mind but ensuring the best service he could give.  This man was, in your opinion far too serious.

Gunther is the last to be introduced, He had darker skin than some of the others. His deep brown hair was brushed back, pointed towards the back of his head. His brown eyes were piercing and sharp. He seemed to be analyzing everything, as well as shooting stern looks at anyone who got too out of hand.

This was Squad Levi, according to Hange… the Special Operations Squad and some of the best of the Survey Corps… _So this is their elite… and I am sitting with them. I feel… out of place._ These people, must be like the defenders of our people were.

“Then you all must be similar to our defenders…” You say finally. The rest of them look at you as if waiting for you to explain. “Our defenders… It’s the greatest honor you can achieve. Before our alliance with our neighboring village we were the only defense against the titans. We would go ahead, cut a path through the wilderness for the hunters. We stood and guarded he village from the beasts that hunger… We are the ones who found your friends the first time, even before the scouts did.” You say proudly. Yes… your brothers, how you loved them, but you wonder, are any even left? 

“When we found (name) she was wearing 3DMG and carting around one of our wounded, someone she patched up herself.” Hange said proudly. “Really we had no idea there was anyone even outside the walls, and this little creature… “ She ruffles  your  (h/c) Hair. “She was there watching us and waiting to speak with us.”

“Yeah, don’t do that.” You say pulling her hand out of your hair. She laughs and grins at you. “I’m not that special. Defenders are supposed to stay with the village, but… I was sent here to learn about you, and in exchange offer what we know.” You said. “That is how I got stuck with overly-excitable Hange here.” You grin at her. Really you do consider her a friend, even though she annoys you a lot of the time. 

The others have a million questions for you, leaving you with hardly any time to eat. That is until Levi sends Eren to come and get you. 

“(Name), the corporal said its curfew now and we should get back to the dungeons.” He said quietly. You nod, grabbing the bread from your tray. The food was nearly as bad as the food this morning, but you’re starting to tolerate it better. 

You excuse yourself from the group, walking next to Eren towards the dungeons. He walks beside you, smiling quietly to himself… What is this boy thinking about?

“Eren, is something on your mind?” You ask gently, still being lead through the hallways towards the dungeon. 

“It’s just, so quiet down there, normally I have no one nearby. It’s kind of nice thinking someone will be there other than to guard me.” He says.

“Why do you need a guard? I can understand with me, I am a stranger here. But you, you look like you belong with these people.” 

“It’s a long story…” He says drifting off into thought. You smile softly. 

“Hey do you think anyone would be terribly mad if I got a shower before bed? I mean.. I haven’t since I've been here.” You ask sheepishly. 

“Go ahead, the girl’s shower is down that hall. I’ll just tell the corporal, if there’s one thing he doesn't get pissed off over it’s being clean.” He says with a chuckle. “Don’t take too long, he’ll come in after you.” He warns…  You hope he is joking.

You take off to the showers as quickly as possible… Clean, that’s really all you want… clean. It feels like forever since you last got the chance to wash up. Three days in a coma, plus your wounds were bad enough you could only manage to sponge down and wash your hair before leaving. 

Just the thought of it makes you utterly disgusted. You’d rather shower every day. As you hit the shower room you go through your pack quickly. The elder had packed your favorite soap, as well as a hairbrush and several changes of clothing. You relax immediately. Good, no strange foreign wall people soap on your body, not yet anyway!

You pull the fragrant lavender bar from your pack then go looking for the oils that would help with your hair. You smile, he really did give you everything you need. You set the pack on a bench outside the shower of your choice and go looking around the room.

A shelf nearby had an incredible number of perfectly folded, identical white towels. You pick up one, bringing it over to set with your pack then start to undress.  It felt nice getting the skins off. You would have to clean them later as you didn't have the proper materials to do so here. Fortunately, being what they are, they didn't dirty easily so you figured you could air them out later, inside of your cell… Cell, the word still made you cringe.

Once your 3DMG straps, shirt and pants are off you take a closer look at the bandages on your stomach. Thankfully no one had noticed, the pain is completely gone now and you find yourself wondering if you should have brought bandages with you. You slowly unravel them, taking care not to pull them too quickly. Once you get the last bandage unraveled, you pull the gauze slowly off of your stomach and run a hand over it. 

You had always healed fast. Three days ago these very wounds had left you unconscious for blood loss. Today they were just a collection of scars. Running your fingers along them you realized that you hadn't been stabbed three or even four times. That strange titan changing man had stabbed you at least a half a dozen times. _Score one for the psycho._ You think to yourself. 

Getting the rest of your clothing off, you set the soap on a small ledge in the shower room with the oils beside it and step into the small shower space.  It had a very threadbare white curtain covering the entrance which you pulled across behind you.  You turned the knob gingerly.

A blast of ice cold water hit your face and washed over your body. You squeal quietly, pulling yourself back to the edge of the shower. You turn the other knob, waiting for the heat to kick in. As it does, the room begins to fill with steam and you step back under the now hot water. You close your eyes, just letting the world fade away a bit. 

The rushing water reminds you of the waterfalls near your home, and a soft pang of homesickness hits you out of the blue. You shake your head, then start slowly washing your hair and body. The smell of clean washing over you seems to intoxicate you. The fresh sensation on your skin as the dirt peels away leaves you smiling and the water running across your (h/c) locks leaves you with an odd sensation of pure bliss. Yes, this shower was a much needed retreat from the craziness of the wall world. 

After turning off your shower you dry yourself off, slowly getting dressed. You decide upon the soft, flowing fabric of the hemp dress that the elder had packed.  The fit is nearly perfect, showing off your form but not too much. The tan dress hangs loosely in a peasant style at your shoulder, short sleeves sliding off to hit your upper arm, more often than not. The dress tightens at the waist with a single wide band, a soft blue belt that you wrap on yourself. The skirt flows free, making room for your legs and hips. 

Comfort… it was a nice sensation in contrast to the bindings and leather skins you had worn earlier. You slowly walk your way back to the dungeons, remembering vaguely from this morning how to get there. You only take one wrong turn but quickly figure out that it is unfamiliar. As you start down the narrow steps you hear a voice below. 

“I’m sure she’ll be back soon, sir.” The voice said. “She only went to the showers.” 

“It’s still after curfew, dumbass.” Levi said flatly. “Anyway she has three minutes or I’m going in after her.” You could hear a soft metal on metal sound. Clinking then a pause then clinking again rhythmically.

As you neared the last step you caught sight of the small corporal, leaned up against the wall with an incredibly bored expression. He was spinning  a ring of keys absent-mindedly upon his finger. Clink… quiet… clink… each time they hit the highest arch of the swing.  You step down into the chilly cellar, not saying a word.

The man stares at you a moment and the keys slide to a stop on his hand. He hasn't said a word, his expression didn't change much but his eyes widened as he took you in. You blush lightly, at the attention. 

Taking a glance around the room you see Eren, in his cell. His turquoise eyes are wide, glimmering in the darkness and his mouth hangs open slightly. You’re confused, feeling the slight warmth of your blush spread even further. You turn back to the corporal, who seems to have righted himself. You look straight into his eyes and smile.

“Sorry I’m late, it’s just… I couldn't stand being dirty anymore.” You say taking a small strand of (h/c) hair between your fingers. It’s a nervous habit, but it comes off so cute both the men seem to stare a bit more intently.  

“Don’t break curfew again.” He says motioning you towards the cell. “Since you’re new, there will be no punishment. If you do it again you’ll be cleaning my office for a week. Got it brat?” He says. 

His tone is attempting to be cold and brash but somehow it doesn't strike you that way.  He almost seems strangely gentle, for his cold demeanor, or maybe it is your painful optimism shining through at the moment. 

“Yes, sir.” You say clearly. He seems to be waiting for something and you look at him a moment. “Thank you.” You say quietly. He doesn't say a word, just quietly closes the door. He inserts the large key, locking it tightly and then stares a moment more. 

“Get some sleep.” He says flatly. He walks past Eren’s cell and smashes a hand against the bars. “Oi, shithead, stop standing there gawking and get your stupid ass to bed.” He yells. Without another word he flies up the stairs and out of sight. 

Once he is out of sight you set yourself to arranging the mix of blankets and single pillow on the floor. This might not be comfortable but you have slept on worse. You hear a noise from the next cell over then a quiet voice.

“(Name)?” Eren’s voice calls out. You reply with a soft humming noise. “You look amazing…” He said softly, you blush, thankful that he can’t see you.

“Um… Thanks Eren.” You reply. 

“I guess corporal grump ass thinks so too.” He says, mostly musing to himself. “I mean, he never, ever forgives cleaning duty to anyone.” 

“Oh?” You ask, slightly confused.

“I swear, he’d give cleaning duty to his own mother…” Eren says. He laughs softly. You two stay up about an hour talking around the wall, until you realize he’s grown quiet again. He’s probably fallen asleep.

You smile softly, cuddling into your own bed. _Maybe this place isn't all bad._ You decide before drifting off to sleep.


	6. The Strangers, The Scientst and The Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting to know some of the cadets, and Hange, you're given an opportunity to prove yourself.

You wake at a soft shuffling sound. You aren't even quite sure you've heard it. It takes you a minute to realize where you are. _Oh yes, that stupid cell._ You listen quietly as the sound grows closer. The soft footfalls that go along with it let you know someone is in the dungeons. 

You sit up quietly, leaning back against the wall a moment. Normally you would pretend to be asleep, but honestly there’s no point in the deception. Especially since today you’re supposed to be let loose from this cell.

“Um… (Name)… I-it’s almost breakfast… I thought you... maybe could join Eren and me?” The voice says a little shakily. 

You smile softly. Oh yes it’s that shy boy again from yesterday. His bright blue eyes meet your (e/c) ones through the cell door. You stretch lightly and stand, allowing your muscles to wake from their rest on the floor.

“That sounds nice, Armin.” Your voice calls back. You see him smile as a soft pink crawls across his cheeks. It strikes you as outright adorable. _Adorable Armin… no if I call him that it would completely embarrass him._ Still you smirk at the thought of it. You hear the key turn in the lock of your cell and the door creaks loose. 

“Go ahead and get Eren up while I straighten things up a bit.” You say smiling softly. You hear a muffled snoring as if acknowledging his name and you giggle softly. You round up your things, setting your leather clothes back into your bag and pull the bag off to the corner of the room.  

You decide it couldn't hurt to leave it there, there’s nothing very important in it other than clothing. Having it all rounded up just makes it easier when you come to collect your things.  You also find yourself folding the blanket bed up and setting it on the bench, then resting the pillow on top of it. 

You straighten out your dress gently and then try to do something with your hair. Finally you reach into your bag, pulling out your brush and put it back into your usual hairstyle. You drop the brush back into the top of the bag and smile as you step out of the cell. 

You follow Eren and Armin back to the mess hall, smiling and talking with both of them along the way. You could have sworn you saw Armin blush a few times. You laugh slightly at the thought. He’s so innocent really. 

When you enter the lunch hall, the same quiet washes over it but this time the conversations resume rather quickly. You smile across the room now, looking at the various people who you still have not met. You remind yourself to try to meet some of the others when you have the chance. 

You sit with Eren, Armin and Mikasa again, still happily sitting across from them all. You look across the room a moment and see the table where Hange and her friends normally sit. Levi is there, but Hange is not. She probably is back in the middle of one of her crazy experiments. 

You’re enjoying a bit of casual conversation. Today Mikasa is even talking a little. Not much, she seems to hardly talk at all, so you feel a little excited that she even bothered to say a word to you. 

A few minutes later you are joined by a tall muscular blonde with golden eyes. He sat on your left and another man, probably ten centimeters shorter sat on your right. This one had two toned hair a softer blonde with darker brown underneath, his eyes were also a caramel gold color. 

“Do you mind if we stay here a while?” Jean said smiling at you. 

“Go ahead.” You reply and he grins at you then looks across at Eren who looks incredibly irritated. 

“So that’s Jean and I’m Reiner.” The man on your left said. “We have an ongoing bet… I thought you could settle for us.” 

“What if I don’t want to?” You say rolling your eyes. The flat out bluntness of the statement caused both of the men to  look at each other a moment, then they glanced back to see the slight grin on your face.

“Okay well…..” Jean starts. 

“First, if you’re going to make a bet. I’d love to hear the odds, and what exactly you two are gamboling on my private life over.” The tone was simple sassiness, but the boys both noticed it smirking playfully. Yes, you could hold your own with these ornery pests. 

“Fine, I said that you were too stubborn to settle for just any man. Jean said you must have someone. The stakes are cleaning duty for the week.” Reiner says. You look at both of them and laugh.

“What if you are both right?” They look at you totally puzzled. You find yourself laughing again. 

“It’s impossible to break off an engagement  with someone who vanished so many years ago. So technically I am engaged… I suppose. But I’m too stubborn, most men don’t meet my standards, to be honest I doubt he does anymore either.” You say watching their expressions alternately. They both seemed to take in what you said slowly, as if trying to formulate something in their minds. You grin slightly. 

“So what’s it mean if you both lose? Oh I know,  Jean can do Eren’s cleaning for a while, and Reiner can do Armin’s.” You say laughing. Both of them shake their heads.  Eren gives a devilish grin now. 

“Oh hell no. I’m not cleaning for titan boy!” Jean said. 

“Fine, you take Armin’s cleaning he can take Eren’s.” You laugh pointing at Reiner, both the boys look at you then at each other again.

“How about we call it a draw and no one gets anyone’s cleaning?” Reiner said. Jean nodded in agreement. 

They seem to relax after a while, now just talking casually with you. Really it doesn't bother you that they were placing bets. They probably do it with everyone who comes in here. Both boys are incredible flirts.

You take a moment and look into Jeans eyes when he's talking. You really aren't paying attention to the conversation he's going over something about how much better of a soldier he is than others around him. His eyes though are beautiful. He has a sort of sadness, you can tell he's suffered a very close loss, not too long ago. His heart seems almost broken but he is strong and determined, with a clear sense of purpose, it makes you smile. 

Jean tries to wrap an arm around you and you brush him off, twice, before Eren finally loses his cool. “I think it’s obvious she doesn't like your hands on her horseface.” Eren growls. 

“I doubt she needs a titan shit like you to defend her.” Jean says. Before long the two are up pushing each other over the table. Jean jumps up on top of it about the same time Eren does and they resume their little fight. Strangely, this amuses you. However, it doesn't amuse a certain Corporal who comes over almost immediately to break it up.

As they start fighting Reiner pulls you aside and out of the way of their thrashing fists and flying feet. He grins, wrapping his arm around you gently. 

“So since you’re new here… any of these fine idiots caught your eye?” He asks. You look up at him and straight into those golden colored eyes.  You see it then, that familiar hunger that you've come to know from the others like him. You try not to let it show though. You simply smile trying to see what else those eyes can show you. 

This man is struggling with something inside himself, both a master and a slave of his life. Something, somewhere in him is at war with the other side, and yet he seems to have a strange sort of peace at what he is, and what he must do. 

“I haven’t really.” You say softly looking away from him. “Maybe I’m not actually looking right this moment. I've hardly gotten to know anyone.” You gently unravel his arm from around you. “Though I do admit there’s some good looking men around here.” You say with a sly wink. Then you walk quietly away from him, leaving him a whole lot confused what to think.

“Jaeger, Kirstein, stable duty for the rest of the week.” You hear Levi say after finally getting the two pried off of each other. You chuckle softly. 

Yep, those two must be rivals. You grab your empty dishes from the table and return them to the kitchen, then start on the way out to the hall again. 

You take a couple of random turns, thinking you were on your way to Hange’s office, only to find yourself in a completely unfamiliar hall. You walk a little longer, looking around you then turn around to walk back, suddenly walking into a rather tall, slender wall of a man. 

“Sorry!” You yell trying to jump back from this stranger but he had grabbed you, probably in shock himself at being run into. He’s tall, very tall, if given an estimate at least a hundred and ninety five centimeters.(Close to six feet five inches)  You are actually somewhat shocked at his size. Even the commander isn't that tall. 

“Um. .. s-ssorry..” He said timidly. His face was all red and he looked at you with his green eyes. You could see him better now, his short almost black brown hair was combed down but seemed to want to stray despite that. 

“No it’s okay I ran into you.” You say trying to apologize. It’s only now you realize he still has his arms around you. “Uh, yeah can you let go please?” You laugh nervously.

“Oh yeah, sorry… I just… I w-wanted to, s-say sorry…” He said his anxiety about talking made you smile at him. He finally moved his arms from around you, nervously rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand. 

“It’s okay. I’m (Name). Who are you?” You say trying to make this whole thing a little less awkward. 

“Bertholdt… I w-was following you.. so… It’s my fault.” He says sounding a little more confident. “I meant sorry… Reiner, he’s my friend but h-he can get a little… too friendly.” He says blushing softly.

“That’s kind Bertholdt, but you don’t need to apologize for your friend, he didn't bother me.” You say with a grin. “Really you don’t have to be so nervous, dear.” You say touching his arm lightly. “I don’t bite… often. “ You laugh softly, Bertholdt gives you a somewhat frightened look and you laugh again. “Oh I’m teasing. It’s alright… really. It’s just everyone seems so nervous of me at first. They have no idea what’s really outside these walls.” 

“Titans mostly… it’s all they know.” Bertholdt said sheepishly. You look up at him as his eyes look down to meet yours. Yes… it’s not too surprising considering he and Reiner are so close. This man though, shy as he is he only wants someone to be close to, someone to trust, somewhere to feel safe… You feel it almost stronger than you feel that he too has that same fire and hunger in him. Strange… You’re fairly sure the others do not know there are so many titans here, especially with how they treat Eren.

“Yes… but I’m not convinced all titans are evil, maybe some just don’t  know what’s right anymore.” You say almost too quietly. In the silence of the hallway it seems to echo across the entire length of it.

Bertholdt gives you a look of pure bewilderment. He moves down closer to look at you again, then realizing how close he is goes back to standing uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry… I've never heard someone say that before.” He says trying to hide his examining you.

“Maybe because the people here live in their walled prison. I've lived on the outside my entire life… It’s a different world.” You smile as you start to walk away.

“Yes, it is… do you need help? You look lost?” He asks changing the subject. 

“Hange’s office?” You say. He nods and points down the hallway that you came from. He gives you quick directions and you thank him with a sudden hug. He looks even more confused, his light olive skin falling into a bewildered blush.

“Thank you Bertholdt!” You shout as you run off towards the office again. 

He scratches his head and goes looking for Reiner; seems they may need to have a little talk about this outsider. 

“Hey, new girl.” The voice is like ice and when you turn her eyes aren't much warmer. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a messy folded ponytail at the back. Her blonde hair falls in fringes around her face partly hiding her blue eyes. 

“Hey.” You say not sure how to address this girl. She’s only slightly taller than you and you aren't quite sure where she even came from.

“I saw you talking with Bertholdt and Reiner.” She says flatly. “Just don’t... They have enough to deal with right now.” She looks you over with those ice cold eyes.

“I am allowed to talk to whoever I want. I have more than earned that right.” You say flatly. “And it’s (Name) not new girl.” 

“I don’t really care.” She says glaring at you. Your eyes meet hers.

There is actually softness deep in them, but more than anything she seems narrowly focused on whatever purpose she has. She doesn't want to feel, that’s the first thing you can find… she doesn't want to hurt. Then you see it again, the hunger… _Another? Certainly someone must have some idea this is going on here…_ You think to yourself. I suppose it doesn't matter. There is no use to be had by exposing what these three are. They seem to choose to live as humans.

“What’s your name?” You say in a demanding tone. The sudden tone change seems to hit her and draw out a sort of mischievous smirk. She lives for a fight, you can tell already and you smile yourself. It’s been a while.

“Annie.” She says. She looks at you and suddenly shoots out her leg trying to take the side of your knee. You dance aside with such ease it almost throws her off. She instead takes a quick punch at you, which you dodge with a quiet smile.

You’re standing behind her now. You give her a hard push forward, then dodge another punch that comes at you as she regains her balance. Your agility was never in question. Today is no exception.

She takes another kick at you and you grab her ankle, turning it sideways and successfully spraining it. You don’t want to break it, just to make the point that you easily could have. She punches at you again, still standing on that swollen ankle and you smile.

“I’m mildly impressed.” You taunt her. “Mildly, I could have broken that.” She throws another punch and you do the same with her wrist, pulling it around behind her as you dodge aside. You twist it, tightly into a clearly uncomfortable position. She winces, but doesn't make a single protest. 

You pull back, her arm at a strange angle and kick her in the back as you release the arm, forcing her forward into the wall. You smirk one last time, as she glares at you, holding her now clearly painful shoulder and walks away. Before you let her go though, you have one more thing to say. 

“Annie, that was fun, if you ever want to go again.” She waves her good arm in utter frustration and lets out a gruff growl, then she just walks away. You giggle slightly, then continue your walk, stopping in Hange’s office.

“(Name)!” Hange yells. “I thought you’d still be in your cell, is it morning already?” She rubs her tired eyes and picks up her cup of coffee. She looks back down at the paper she was jotting notes on then back to you.

“How many of those evil things have you had?” You ask pointing at the cup.

“Oh I don’t know, dozens? I've been up working on all those.” She says motioning to dozens of drawings, designs and sketched notes you can’t possibly read. 

“What… is?” You start to say, she laughs and grabs you by the arm, spending the next three hours explaining all the details of her dozens of experiment ideas. Suddenly, you understand why Eren isn't always eager to come down here. 

Rather exhausted you pry yourself out of Hange’s tight grip she’s still pointing at her project, yammering over how she wishes she could compare Eren to another shifter. You don’t want to bring up what you've found though. You finally speak.

“Hange, there is a village of them, not far from where I lived. It is only an hour or two off from where you found me.” You offer. “But they are extremely well defended and use all the equipment your people do here.” You inform her. “I don’t know how many shifters there are.  I just know that the one who attacked me and several others are.”

She seemed very interested now. “Tell me about them, about what you saw?” She gave you the most pathetic pleading look, how could you say no to that?

“Okay. I really don’t know much...” You told her about your experience with the shifters, and what you saw that day, struggling to pull out all of the details you can. You finish up by telling her you’re pretty sure they are the same ‘smart titans’ that attacked your village back when you were younger.

“So basically, your village is being held captive by these titans?” She asked you, moving the conversation in a direction you hadn't meant for it to go. She looks over her glasses at you, perhaps even at something behind you, but then turns her eyes directly to yours. 

“Essentially… yes…” You sigh loudly. “To be honest, the people of my village think of them as saviors, protectors. They think as long as the people from Titus watch over us we will be kept safe. But I wonder what they would do if we didn't provide them constantly with food and supplies. We barely have enough with our growing families and their growing needs as well. We’re farmers, hunters. We only recently told them we harvest from the oceans, they decided they wanted half of that too.” You shake your head. “To be honest, my people are in a prison of their own, and they constantly mock how free we are compared to the Wallers…” You think about that a moment. “Um… people from inside the wall, like you.” 

“You came here to learn about us.” Hange says. “Did you ever think how maybe we could help each other? Our city and your village.”

“We are so far apart… I’d considered an alliance, but attacking Titus would be far more dangerous than I can say. As I said they are well armed and there are so many. We only have a few defenders. I was one of them… We don’t have enough of anything for the war it would cause.”

“So, you thought of it. Had you even thought to ask Erwin?” Hange said.

“Am I in a position to do so? You barely know me… And here you are asking my intentions… right now, I don’t even know. I would face death for humanity… I have before and I would again, but my people… I just don’t know…” 

“They sent you here… why do you think that your elder chose you?” She asks, staring at you intently. 

“My curse…” You say looking at your hands. “Even if I had not been singled out to die by Titus… He would probably have chosen me.” You don’t know how to say it, or even explain it. You look at Hange trying to find words she’ll understand but they aren't clear to you. You take another breath. 

“Curse? I don’t really understand. Aren't curses all made up?” Hange asks.

“I don’t know… father and mother talked about it when I was very young. For some reason I can’t forget it.   ‘cunoștințe atemporal, putere nelimitată.’ Timeless knowledge, limitless power, it means… He was a scientist, before he came outside the walls. He and mother met inside the walls but she was a scout from our village. She brought him back to our lands… where he continued his research until they were killed by the titans.”

“What language is that even?” Hange asks scratching her chin. Honestly it’s one she has never heard before, you laugh slightly.

“Română it is from across the ocean I am told. I don’t really know. He said it wasn't common in the walls, but was spoken in his home. I don’t know his family name either. By tradition he took mother’s name when they married.”  You say. Now you are curious yourself, because you noticed there seems to only really be one language inside the walls. You haven’t heard any others. 

“We actually have a few straggling languages.” She says knowingly. “Levi for example speaks one called French. Most of the Oriental languages are dead now, but some of the dialects are still used.” 

“Did his research notes survive, by chance?” A voice from behind you says. You are startled and jump at the sound of it. Standing only inches from your chair is the commander. You had no idea he could move so silently, but then again you were also lost in thought.

“Yes, they are hidden in my home. No one knows they still exist.” You reply. His hand lands heavily on your shoulder. 

“Maybe we should make a little expedition. I’m curious to see what your father found.” He states. You nod. 

“He was the one who told me the most important question can only be answered by knowing both sides of the walls.” You say looking at the commander quietly. “I don’t know what it means.”

“I might.” He said. He looked you over a moment. “We need to test your skill with our maneuvering gear. I saw you wearing it earlier but I need to know how well you can hold up in proper combat.” He steps back from the chair offering you a hand up. 

You take his hand allowing him to help you to your feet. Realizing that this put you only inches from him when you rose, you found yourself blushing. _How do they find all of these good looking men?_ You wonder silently. 

“I’m ready to demonstrate whenever you are ready to test me. I just need out of this dress first.” You say with a grin.

“Good, go back to the dungeons and get your things. Eren will escort you, he will also show you to your quarters. Get changed and meet the squad leaders and myself down at the training ground.” With a quick turn, he walks back out the door.

You find yourself admiring the rather firm and toned form of his posterior, before blushing and turning away again. This place is a trial on every aspect of your person.

It’s time to get ready to show what you can do.


	7. It's My Turn to Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chance to prove your skill, impressing your superiors!

**** I was listening to this when I was writing. I love this song... (There is no requirement to listen of course, but I had to put it in here.  It’s my turn to fly  ****

When you get to your quarters you find a set of harnesses laid out on the bed as well as a set of maneuver gear. In fact, looking at it you can see the places where you have made repairs in the past. They have given you back the gear you found all those years ago in the forest.  You find yourself smiling nostalgically. They seem to have kept it all together for you. 

Since this is your gear, you shouldn't have to make any adjustments in the triggering mechanism; it also means you won’t have to adjust to a new set. You feel yourself falling into a wicked sort of grin. Really they don’t know what they are up against

Once Eren has left and your door is closed you dress quickly in a tan button down, high collared top. This one is sleeveless, covering your shoulders nicely and protecting you from the straps. The fabric is soft and airy. You imagine much more so than the uniforms you see the others wear. 

You pull on a pair of identically tan pants. They pull up tight and fasten at the top with a pull string rope, which you keep tucked in.  

You quickly dawn your dark brown straps, harness and belts. The braces and supports on your belts are white and help to keep everything in the proper positions. It’s all but second nature to you now. You've done it so many times getting ready to practice in the forests back home. Every chance you had to sneak out was spent trying to figure out how to use this gear, or scavenging more fuel just to keep trying. 

Your fingers trace the repairs on the gear unit. The first time you tried a backwards assault you had cracked the metal. With a little help from the local smithy you had learned how to repair it. After that you were more careful until you had more experience. Every single groove or gouge, every replaced bit of metal had a story. This equipment had taken you through years of combat and years of training, probably more hours than you could ever explain. 

You smile, fastening the gear on and your weapons boxes. Yes, this is where you truly shine. If you’re in a forest, no one can keep up with you. At least, no one you’ve met yet. Your mind though drifts back to the day you first met these strangers. _Levi… he was so perfect that day. Flawless aim, perfect focus… he’s the one I believe could beat me._

You tighten down your gear, the familiar weight dragging on you. Without it you are fast, with it you are a bit slower, but not enough to matter when it comes to combat. You pull your hair back, fixing it tightly so that it doesn't get in your way. You pull on a set of boots, not too unlike theirs but fitting a bit tighter, stopping directly below your knees. 

You walk down the halls and out towards the training grounds. You notice rather quickly that none of the cadets are present, only the ones who sit at the table with Levi. You meet now with Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther, Levi, Hange, and of course the commander is standing with them. 

You smile as you approach. Perhaps it comes off cocky at this point you really don’t mind. You’re excited to see what kind of challenge they've decided to give you. 

“Far too cheerful.” Levi comments as you walk up. You aren't sure if he means you, or something else. Odds are with that gaze of his fixed on you, you’re exactly the target of that statement. 

“I miss flying.” You say with a half wild grin. The group looks at you a moment and you just smile. “So, what exactly are we doing?” 

“A little challenge.” Erwin says. “I’ll be watching to see how it goes. You’re going to either single-handedly take down the special operations squad, or they will take you down. Since I don’t feel like getting anyone hurt today, we’ll be using these.” He hands you what looks like a baton with a red colored swatch at the end. 

“The rules are simple. Once your wires are marked, you’re dead. You aren't being given the option to continue with one wire, when you are marked, the game ends.” He says looking at you and the rest of the group. 

“What happens if I win?” You say with a challenging smile.

“It won’t happen.” Levi says completely nonchalant. Really he is so sure of himself. Then again, you did see him in the forest and you are fairly certain he will do everything he can to back up that statement.

“If you win against them?” Erwin looks at you a moment then back to the squad. He chuckles slightly. “Are we betting on this match?”

“I’m fairly certain I can defeat all but one with ease.” You say looking directly at Levi this time. He makes no move to acknowledge your statement. “So I’m willing to make an offer, since cleaning seems to be a favorite gamboling chip with the younger ones… I’ll take over cleaning for three days for anyone who can beat me.”

This seems to finally perk up Levi’s interest in the whole discussion, he looks you over carefully. “If I take you down… I choose what you wear when you clean.” Everyone looks at him a moment and you find yourself lightly chuckling.

“Since I don’t have cleaning duty at the moment, I’m open to suggestions for what I get if I win.” Honestly you don’t know what you want, other than an actual acknowledgment of your abilities. 

“You won’t win.” Levi states again.

“Then it doesn't matter what I put on the table.” You reply. “How about this, if I win, I’m free to come and go as I please.” 

“If you win I’ll let you be part of this squad.” Levi says. 

“I’d take my freedom. Still that offer doesn't sound too bad either, considering I’m going to be here for a while.” You can feel a tension building between you and Levi. Maybe it’s just the challenge of it all. He seems dead set you cannot win. You know full well it would be hard, but you really do love a challenge.

“If you win, I’ll take you to visit your home.” Erwin says. Everyone turns to look at him a moment but he says nothing else. 

“So, I can become part of this squad, gain my freedom, and go visit my home? This is sounding good, but it makes what I offered seem a little less… adequate.” Your reply gets a sort of strange look from Levi. His silver blue gaze meets your eyes and you almost catch your breath. It’s cold, but curious… somewhere behind it is something deeper, a river of emotion you can’t quite grasp.

“If you lose, I’ll find a proper punishment for your arrogance.” Levi states. Everyone looks at him a moment then back at you with a concerned glance.

“I won’t lose… but if it comes out a tie, all bets are off.” You say looking him over again. This brings him a sort of half hinted twitch of a smirk, before it disappears from his face. 

“Alright, now if you two are done flirting…” Hange says. “Can we get started?”

“Two minute head start, get into the woods and prepare for combat.” Erwin says. “Squad Levi and Hange will join after two minutes. The game is over when either (Name) or the entire of the assault squad are defeated.”  Erwin states. “Time begins: Now.” 

You fire your wires off into the trees, disappearing into the forest swiftly. The snap and jerk as your wires propel you forward fuels your confidence. You live for this, you love this. 

The first time you ever put on maneuvering gear was an experiment. You strapped on the harnesses and the gear and pressed the button. You felt a sick drop in your stomach as you lurched forward and were quite quickly thrown into the tree where the wires had hooked. That moment, when your feet left the ground… that is why you kept trying. 

You draw your focus back to the task at hand. It should be about time for the others to get here. You grin. It is a strange, cold confident grin, one that used to shake up your comrades when you would fight as a defender. They called it death’s smile. Here, in these woods, everything felt perfect.

You waited, then suddenly heard a sound on your right. The wires flew around the side of a tree near yours, and you knew that someone had caught up already. You stood still, waiting for another sound. 

The person who had passed you swung around the other side of the tree, flying at an angle to cut you off. You launched your wires, downward… an unexpected movement to your assailant. You hit a branch below you, dropping at a breakneck speed. 

Before you could hit you threw a wire out, flipping back around to the next tree. You hit the trunk with your feet, launching back to where you were standing previously, just in time to paint the wires of Oluo. Cursing, he lowered himself to the ground. 

You moved from your location, afraid his cursing and yelling would give you away. Moving closer you saw what looked like a glint of red hair. _Petra…_ You started towards her, when you felt a second presence on your left. You dodged shooting upward to move away from this second person.

Gunther lets out an angry sound as he flies past where you previously were. Above you, you hear another sound and retract your wires mid-flight. This causes you to drop suddenly, straight into a free-fall, but also causes Eld to fly past where your wires were a bit ago.  
Petra was a distraction, these two had tried to ambush you. You’re still mid fall when you launch only one wire, shooting off to the right with a strange lurch that almost hurt your hips. Still, it wasn't a time to fuss over something like that. As you moved at an angle, you shot the second wire, retracting the first quickly and shooting in the same direction. 

This jerks you around, into a perfect dodge of a well synchronized dual attack that nearly had your wires. _These guys are amazing._ You thought to yourself. However you noticed quickly, you hadn't seen Levi at all and Petra was still out there somewhere, nearby. 

You take off towards another large tree, landing on the branch to survey your surroundings. You almost immediately know that you aren't alone. Looking across the gap from you, there stand Levi, simply watching like a wild lion watches his prey. You jump to a lower branch, hitting it hard with your boots and fire your wires to pass under him.  

You feel him flying at you and you glance around quickly. Ah yes, there’s that red hair again. You shoot the tree you just passed, letting your wire twist your entire body to face it. This forces such an abrupt turn that momentum drags you around that tree, facing the exact opposite you were, and placing you directly under Levi. 

You shoot your wires up behind his, trying to catch him, but the man is too fast. He retracts his wires and moves to a safer location.  Your new position, however works to an advantage with Gunther, who was trailing behind Levi hoping to catch you in a surprise attack. 

Your sudden gain in altitude put you nearly on top of his wires. You fire your wire between the spread of his shooting directly over his head as you mark his wire with red.  With a rather disgusted huff he lowers himself to the ground.

You have no time to celebrate as the blonde haired Eld comes flying at you from the side. In a bold move, you let him close in, your wires still dragging you forward. He switches direction, pushing after you. You cast your wires to another spot, hoping for a better vantage and see Petra sweeping towards them. 

You retract your wires again allowing yourself into a dead drop. This time Eld is expecting it and starts downward himself. Your next move though is something none of them have ever seen before.  You fire both wires into trees in opposite directions, allowing enough slack to spring downward and use the momentum of that movement combined with a little gas to launch you straight towards the sky, nearly to the top of the canopy. 

You then take an angle downward, into a distant patch of trees and latch onto  the nearest branch thick enough to support your hooks. This throws you into a chaotic arch pattern. When you hit the right point in your arch, you swing your arms straight upward, launching yourself horizontally across the field. In this position Eld and Petra line up just enough you can paint his wire and with a launch to the side, still have time to hit both of hers. 

This leaves you realizing once again. Levi is nowhere to be seen. _That damn little strange man can disappear like I don’t know what._ You think to yourself. You don’t have time to process much more as he comes from underneath you, mimicking your own assault pattern. As you dodge you curse under your breath.

“Damn, he learns fast…” You say to yourself. You twist around launching off into the trees again when you hear someone yelling. 

“Yaaahoooo!” You glance up to see Hange, firing her wires across towards you. Instead of acknowledging her further, you are scouting for Levi. Hange is loud, which means she is drawing attention. You fire your wires directly away from her, instead of heading in for a counter-attack. This causes a flutter of movement only a few trees to the side of where she was. 

“Oh you clever devil.” You say. Really you admire him. He seems to have a fairly keen battle sense. You swing around the side again this time taking the chance to go over him, then fly past him to drop at an angle after Hange. To your surprise, she tries to grab you instead of marking your wires. This causes you to dodge clumsily, grazing the side of a large trunk with a shoulder. You have time to pay attention to neither the pain, nor the blood. It is a minor injury and doesn't seem to be causing you maneuvering difficulties. 

“Damn… just freaking great.” You say to yourself. “Well played Hange, well played.” You spin again, launching back towards her and fire up at another angle. Part way past her wires you shoot another wire back from where you came, forcing a spin that allows you to mark both of her wires as well. 

“What  the…” You only caught two words, as you propelled back towards the tree that you crashed against moments before. Your feet hit the trunk. You start to fire your wires when you see Levi off to the left. Instead you let your boots bounce you from the tree, outward at another descent towards the ground. For the world, it looks like you missed your mark. 

You grin, watching the ground spin up at you and turn yourself over, hitting a lower branch. You jerk yourself back up, allowing yourself to spin out of control. This movement gives you a chance to fire your wires off towards a tree directly across from you, which you swing over to and rest yourself on another low branch. You know that man is still out there. His angry bird eyes are probably scanning the entire forest looking for you.  You finally come up with a plan. 

Either it’s daring or flat out suicidal. You launch back up to the higher branches where you were fighting before.  You don’t see him, but you do feel he is nearby.  You close your eyes and fire your wires off towards the first sound you hear. Opening them you find yourself on a straight course at Levi. 

He stares at you, still expressionless as you recklessly propel directly towards him.  You know he is good, for this to work he better be amazing or you’re both going to be a tangled mess. At the last possible second he flies upwards, past your wires. You retract them again watching him hit at the air with his baton.  You keep flying in the forward motion to where he had been standing, then shoot your wires at an angle towards his new trajectory. 

This sudden reversal of direction causes a popping sensation to rise through your back. Because your body is flat, it pulls you into a straight alignment. You fire off gas, flying directly towards his back, with yours parallel to the ground. As you close in on him, you see his sheer focus. 

He pulls his wires, trying to let you overcome him but he isn't quite fast enough. You knock past him, spinning him in the air and painting one of his wires, then propel directly at the branch you had latched onto. You spin around it pulling yourself to stop atop of it and grin.

Levi lets out an irritated growl, as he follows you to the branch. 

“I’m Fucking Queen of the Forest!” You yell loudly. 

He pauses where he landed on the branch next to you. You had been very careful with your language before this and you find yourself blushing and laughing at your sudden outburst. 

You hear a sudden flow of laughter through the trees. Apparently everyone from the group had gathered to watch this spectacle that was you and Levi. 

He stands there a moment with an expression somewhere between his normal stoic and a strange kind of admiration. Finally after a moment he speaks up.

“Not bad… Not bad at all.” He shakes his head. “Oi, shithead. You didn’t screw up. Congrats.” 

He doesn't say another word as he disappears off into the woods nearby.  The rest of the group gathers to congratulate you on being the first person ever to single-handedly defeat Levi. 

“Actually, by all sense he should have had me…” You say looking at their shocked expressions. “I think the only reason he didn't is no one is crazy enough to shoot themselves directly at an oncoming soldier. “ They seem confused, but you just smile. _Really… he is amazing, perfect, just like I thought the first time I saw him._

 

~~~~ Levi POV ~~~~

 

“Fucking queen of the forest.” I say with a bemused sort of half grin as I move away from the main group. “Yeah I suppose so. Live it up (name)…" _Still I have to admit, she's fucking amazing._

I start on my way back to the training ground, flying from tree to tree. _Why the hell do I feel… happy?_ I find myself wondering. _I  need to train more… I’m losing my edge. This girl… What the hell is it about her?_

“Tch… she’s an annoying little shit.” I utter talking to the air. Annoying, the way she smiles, the way her (h/c) hair catches on the wind. The way her (e/c) eyes seem to look into my soul. Annoying, distracting and irritating. _Then there is the incident in the mess hall… the ocean… It felt like I was there when she spoke. I swear she’s fucking with my mind._ I sigh loudly, knowing they are all far too busy in their revelries to notice it. I reach the training ground. _I need some god damn tea…_

 

~~~~~ Normal POV ~~~~~

 

“Does anyone know where Levi went?” You ask quietly. Everyone shakes their head except Erwin. He smiles at you. 

“Give him some time to cool off, he isn't used to losing. He never takes it well.” He says with a grin.

“So he has actually lost before?” You ask, kind of confused.

“Yes… to my squad, the day he came to join us.” He grins slightly, then seems to drift a moment into memory. “That’s a story for a different time.  All of you head back. I need to talk a moment with (Name).”

A chorus of ‘yes sir’ is heard and they fly off quickly. Erwin walks up to you standing only a short distance in front of you now.

“If you are willing, the Scouting Legion would be happy to have you.” He says. His eyes are less ice now, and more a soft rippling set of pools. 

“I wouldn't mind staying.” You say quietly. “Let’s get back to the others for now.” 

It is a little later that evening, you are given your uniform and you promise yourself and your heart on behalf of humanity.


	8. Medical Knowledge and Getting Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your medical expertise is starting to be noticed.
> 
> A heart to heart with the "heartless corporal" 
> 
> And "How to distract a mad scientist."

You wake again right around dawn. Knowing it is a little early, you decide to go and check on that boy again. You know it will take some time for his wounds to heal but you keep feeling the need to make sure he’s okay.

Before trying to navigate the halls you decide to put on your new uniform. The material is harsher than you are used to. Not too uncomfortable, just not your normal soft fabrics. You tug at it a little, trying to adjust it to better suit you.  

The commander had given you a uniform without sleeves, perhaps noticing your preference to a high collar and no sleeves in your own fighting gear.  This uniform top was a medium gray, as opposed to the white many wore; really only certain people wore colored clothing. Those who did usually wore green, tan or grey like you had now. He also had given you a pair of tan pants. They were perfectly fitted. 

You smiled softly at the thought. _He seems to genuinely care about his troops. But his ability to figure my size is almost frightening._ You slide on the boots they had given you. They had a looser part that covered the knee, but like yours came to just below it. You set your hand on the jacket… the emblem on it catches your attention. 

You have seen it so many times: these beautiful dark blue and silver wings. _That’s right, yesterday Erwin told me those are the wings of freedom… what a lovely name. Maybe that’s what I have craved all this time, freedom._  

You had so much more freedom than the others here but what would it be like to be truly free; to travel without fear of titan attacks? You fix your hair quietly then step out into the dimly lit hallway. 

Despite the short time you've spent here, you’re finding it easier to navigate these halls. It helps when you quit trying to think about it and listen to your instincts. The grey stones all look the same and the dim lighting can make it confusing but you've always had keen instincts.

As you wander into the infirmary you are greeted by one of the nurses. She’s wearing a standard uniform with a white cloth around her neck, usually these will be pulled up around the patients as a mask. She stands there with a clip board and watches you a bit before she speaks.

“You’re the one who found Connie right?” She asks quietly. You look at her a little confused. “Connie Springer I mean… he’s resting over there.” She motions at the boy you picked up in the forest. _So his name is Connie, not Springer._ You think quietly. 

“Yes. I just came to see how he’s doing. I figure it’ll be a few more days before he can actually get up.” You say and the nurse turns her head slightly at an angle to look at you.

“Are you the one who treated him? The doctors were shocked when they came in and he was treated and bandaged. I heard some of them say they hadn't seen this expert of a job outside of Stohess.” You watch her a little while. _Wow, she’s talkative… I’ll have to ask Erwin or Hange later where Stohess is._

“Um… Yes… My adopted father was good with stitches and medicine.” You say quietly. “He taught me a lot, before…” You almost whispers. “Before the titans killed him.” 

She sets a hand gently on your shoulder. “It’s okay… a lot of us here have lost our families to the titans. You’re new right? We all watch out for each other… don’t worry yourself so much!” You smile lightly.

“I’ll come back later. I’m just glad he’s doing well.” You smile as you turn to walk out of the room. She catches your arm again. 

“He thinks of you like some sort of angel.” She laughs. “I think someone has a bit of a crush. Don’t be too hard on the boy, alright?” 

You blush. “M-me? I’m just a person, a fighter… nothing more I can’t be… oh goodness… why would he like me like that?” You blurted it out so quickly without even thinking. _Geez this place is destroying my tact… not to mention my reputation as a strict warrior!_

“Because you’re a beautiful woman, slightly exotic and have an interesting accent?” She laughs. “Oh trust me I hear the men talking, even Hange talks about you like that!” 

“That was unexpected.” You say regaining your composure. “No it doesn't matter. I’ll be by later for an update on Springer. For now, it’s time for breakfast.”

With that you start back down towards the mess hall. As you walk you hear a set of footsteps falling quietly behind you. You ignore it, these halls are full of people. 

“Oi, brat.” Levi’s voice cuts through the silence and you pause a moment. In fact, you stop so suddenly he almost walks into you. It’s really only his own uncanny reflexes that keep it from happening. 

“Yes, Sir?” You reply looking at him. _He really is handsome, especially at this angle_ Your mind softly whispers to you. _His eyes have changed… are they… warmer?_ Yes, he did seem warmer since your test.

“Join me for breakfast.” He says. He walks silently beside you. 

Strangely the silence is comforting but you can’t help but feel you are being observed every moment you walk together. You glance at him a moment and he turns his gaze forward. He was watching you, but why? You feel a familiar heat upon your cheeks and do your best to will it away. Instead you walk in silence. 

Walking into the mess hall with Levi brings almost more of a response than your first arrival. There is a silence, followed by averted gazes. _Is everyone intimidated by him?_ You wonder. You look at Levi a moment. He’s not very tall, then again neither are you.  Perhaps they misunderstand, his eyes may seem cold but he is extremely emotional and expressive, if you just know how to read him. 

You look away, realizing that it might look rather peculiar for you to be staring at him like this. After all, you’re now a part of their Survey Corps… Technically only a cadet like most of the others here. 

He ignores them completely, marching over to collect a plate and motions for you to do the same. You look at the food in front of you. _Great, another tasteless meal, I hope it has some nutritional value… I need to get in contact with of one of the scouts or get a chance to hunt… this lack of meet is… disturbing…_

You fill your plate with your ration and go to sit with Hange, Levi and the rest of Squad Levi at their table. The silence fades away as you begin to eat. 

You are a little unsettled with Levi staring at you and the rest of the squad. He’s in a position you assume must be his favorite, as you have found him in it several times at dinner. His back is pressed to the wall, his leg up on the bench straightened out, and the other knee in the air. His boot pressed tightly against the knee of his outstretched legs.

You were starting to get anxious with the staring but Petra quickly strikes up a conversation and before long you and the rest of the group look like old friends, mostly chatting about yesterday’s events.  After a few minutes Hange speaks up.

“So, have you told them yet?” Hange says chuckling softly. Levi looks at her and simply lifts his cup without another word. “Oh so you haven’t… but doesn't she look totally cute in her new uniform?”  Levi sets his cup down and looks at the group.

“OI, brats (Name) is your new squad mate.” He says with the same expressionless stare, then he looks at Hange. “Happy now, shitty glasses?” 

Hange laughs. “No, not yet… but it’s a start.” She grins and announces to the whole hall. “(Name) is also the first person, in the whole history of humanity to defeat Shorty in practice.” With that being yelled she jumps out of her chair and runs as fast as she can across the mess hall, expecting Levi to take chase.

He just picks his tea back up again. “Fuck you too.” He says watching Hange leave. He pretends not to even notice the now silent room. When you see the look in his eyes though you know he is silently fuming; trying to make it look like it’s nothing.

“Really, it was pure luck. I didn't figure it would even work.” You shrug. “I've never met anyone that skilled.” You stand up and excuse yourself. After returning your dishes to the kitchen you wander out the hall only to be grabbed by Hange.

“So… is he chasing me? Is he going to kill me?" Hange asks with a big grin, her glasses glint in the light.

“Not yet… He’s just waiting for the right opportunity.” You say teasingly. “Maybe he’ll wait till you’re asleep.”

“Oh would he do that? I mean normally he just lashes out and that’s it.” She says looking nervous.

“Really, you stood out here waiting for him to come chase you? Does someone have a crush?” You ask jabbing her lightly in the ribs. She looks at you a moment then looks away. 

“Maybe… maybe not.” She giggles. “But you haven’t noticed how many of our men have a crush on you.” She says with a smirk. “Anyway, I need to round up my experiment before Levi finds out…”

“Um… wait what shouldn't he find out?” You ask… She starts running and you call out. “Wait, Hange what did you do?!” She’s too far away to even hear you. You shake your head.

Your curiosity is going to get the better of you, you’re sure… So you start down the hallway towards her lab. You don’t get too far before you hear a voice behind you.

“So brat… tell me why you downplay your skill like that?” Levi said. You turn to find him leaning against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“I never had something to compare it with?” You shrug. “To be honest, I don’t do it for skill. I live to fly.” You say. He looks at you a moment. 

“Can you do it to save your comrades though?” He asks. 

“If necessary.” You say watching him closely. “I try to keep those who I am with out of as much danger as possible, but I prefer to trust them to be able to handle themselves. It’s a rough balance.” You say folding your arms across your chest. You're not sure why you’re even having this discussion.

“Tch. You prefer to work alone.” He says. His tone is very quiet, almost reflective and you watch him. _Is it possible, Levi is trying to open up some…_

“I do.” You admit. “The more enemies I take on., the less there are to harm my friends. Likewise, I tend to draw threats to me, as it makes them safer.” You reply. He gives you a strange, half understanding look then closes his eyes a moment. 

“Not a great habit, idiot.” He says finally opening his eyes. “But habits are hard to kick.” He looks you over as if waiting for something. 

You lean against the wall next to him, letting the stone cool your back. You put one hand behind your head and the other dangles at your side against the wall.  “My entire team is dead. It’s nice to be a part of something again.” You say nonchalantly. “Sometimes being the survivor isn't all it’s cracked up to be.”  With your eyes tightly shut, you don’t notice the look he is giving you. 

It is a clear mix of understanding, compassion and loss. Even to someone who couldn't read his expressionless face, they would have seen it then. He snaps his eyes back closed focusing his attention back to the topic at hand.

“Maybe not… I’d rather focus on the ones I can save than the ones I lost. The rest I carry with me. I fight for them.” He says quietly. For a brief instant you feel something cold run across the back of your hand. It was soft, like the brush of someone’s fingers. 

You sense his presence stepping away from the wall.  You open your eyes turning them slightly towards him. He’s now standing in front of you.

“My purpose is unchanged… I fight for humanity, the fallen, the unborn…” Your voice is both sad and a determination you nearly lost since your near death in Titus. 

“Then maybe you’re in the right place after all.” He says. He sets a hand against the wall behind your head and looks at you again. Your eyes meet his storm blue grey ones and you just freeze a moment. He moves closer and you find your breath catching. _He’s so close now… but he’s just staring…_

The smell of him is overpowering. No, it’s not a bad smell; in fact, it’s nearly intoxicating. A sort of cedar smell with a hint of lavender, bleach and something you can’t quite catch… that undertow scent reminds you somehow of home though.  

His face is barely a breath away from yours and you find an all too familiar warmth moving into your cheeks. You’re sure from the heat of it you've developed a nice blush and for the first time since he approached, you glance away a moment.

He gives a sort of smug half smirk and pushes off the wall, walking away as if nothing happened. You stare at him, confusion wracking your mind. Your hand settles on your chest as you try to figure out what exactly just happened. In fact, that’s exactly how you’re standing when you hear…

“(Name)!” The sound of Hange’s voice startles you. You jump slightly then look over at her with a confused half smile. Hange looks at you and grabs your face with both hands. She squishes your face turning you side to side. “You were standing here a long time… Oh my titan! You’re blushing, how cute… Oh I have to know, what happened, who was here? Oooh... did he kiss you?” 

You pull away from her hands shaking your head… She keeps talking. “Is it a he? Maybe it’s a she? Oh goodness that would be a development. Oh come on, tell me what happened?”

You smile weakly at her and laugh gently. “You know what… I don’t even know!” Then you get an idea. “Hey, what was that experiment… Need any help?” Oh, now you've done it… You’ll be spending the rest of the day with Hange, but at least she’s shut up about you blushing.

After hours of sitting with Hange coming up with new experiments you were beyond exhausted, you smile at her lightly. “Hange… I need to sleep, I have training tomorrow.” You say quietly. She smiles at you.

“First day of training, fun… just remember don’t be a smartass, that always wins cleaning duty.” Hange says chuckling over something. 

“I like to clean.” You say looking at her. “Wait are you expecting me to be smart with my superiors? You don’t trust me?” You raise your voice slightly then try to bring on just a bit of tears. 

“Oh (name) I’m so sorry I didn't mean to upset…” She says dragging you into a hug. You start giggling, having a hard time holding it back in. “Wait, did you just… trick me?” She asks. You giggle and give her a big hug.

“Goodnight Hange!” You say running out of the room and back towards your quarters. 

You don’t have that cell anymore, but you realize it wasn't that bad. While you sit in the quiet of your room, you miss the sound of Eren rustling about in his sleep in the next cell. 

The quiet is really getting to you and you realize suddenly that you still haven't asked about that place Stohess or what Hange was trying to hide from Levi. _Well maybe another day._ You think lazily. Your thoughts would continue but somehow you manage to find your way into an uneasy sort of sleep.


	9. The Invisible Giant, Two-Tone and the Potato Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another talk with the commander and meeting more of the 104th.

These early mornings are becoming habit now. You get your uniform on and check in with the nurse, who informs you that Connie is most likely to be awake in the evening. She suggests that you visit him closer to dinner time. You smile sweetly and thank her. 

 

You start back down the hallway, a little lost in your thoughts and find yourself crashing again into this giant tree in the middle of the hallway. Papers flew everywhere.  You look up embarrassed to see the blushing face of Bertholdt. _How the heck is someone this big that quiet? Is it magic or something?_ You think to yourself. _This man literally just appears out of nowhere, then disappears just as quickly._

 

“I’m sorry…” You say helping him pick up the papers, which appear to be some kind of report and are now completely out of order. 

 

“I-it’s okay.” Bertholdt says. He’s kneeling now to pick up more of the scattered papers and you suddenly start to giggle. “Uh… is everything okay, (name)?” He asks you.

 

“I just realized, you have to be on your knees to even be close to my height!” You grin. “Goodness… I’m sorry I must sound awful.” To your surprise he just smiles kindly at you. 

 

“It’s alright. I was sort of thinking the same.” He says. “I have to get these papers to Erwin. Hange’s orders.” He looked at them a little disappointed. Really they were a mess and out of order, and it was y your fault.

 

“Let me, then if anyone gets upset over them being all messed up it’s clearly my fault.” You say gently placing your hand over them.  “Plus it’ll be breakfast soon.” He smiles.

 

“Really you’d… for me?” He looks at you with those green eyes and a slight blush. You grin, setting your hand on his shoulder.

 

“It’s the least I can do, after all we’re friends, right?” You say. He smiles meekly at you now.

 

“Friends?” He asks, like it’s some sort of strange new word on his tongue.

 

“Friends, whether you like it or not.” You say giggling softly. “Anyway, maybe we can sit and talk sometime, without me trying to run you over.” 

 

“Uh… I-I’d like that.” He says blushing again. You smile, resisting the urge to kiss his cheek. This guy is so darn shy and it’s outright cute. Instead you hug him quickly then take the messy stack of papers from his hands. 

 

You pick through the papers, trying to sort them as you walk towards the commander’s office.  You have a hard time interpreting Hange’s handwriting. It was surprisingly freeform and ornate; still you managed to eventually sort it out.

 

When you reached to knock on the commanders door, you heard a clicking noise. You stopped a moment and found yourself looking almost directly into the green stone that adorned the bolo he wore on his chest. You blinked a moment. _His white shirt is not doing the best job of concealing those muscles._ You think to yourself.

 

“Can I help you, (name)?” He asked.  You figure he must have been headed out for something if you’d been later you would have missed him entirely and been stuck with Hange’s papers.

 

“I’m here to deliver Hange’s reports, sir.” You say. He steps back motioning to the desk. Well you assumed it was a desk. The thing had several tall stacks of paper on it, and one file open with it’s contents spread about the desk itself.

 

You place the stack you have on the desk at the empty corner and turn to exit again. You’re stopped suddenly by the sound of something being scooted across the floor. You turn to see a chair now next to you. He doesn't say a word, just motions to the chair while watching you with those ice cold eyes. 

 

“Sir… I should be getting back, it’s my first day of training…” You say quietly while shaking your head softly. 

 

“I appreciate your dedication, but I would like you to sit.” He says looking over you. “It seems the uniform fits well.” It was a simple statement, no real emotion behind it. You nod.

 

“It does, thank you sir.” You say as you take a seat. “Were you headed somewhere before?” You ask not sure if it’s appropriate to or not. He doesn't say anything for a moment.

 

You watch him closely as he drags his desk chair a bit closer and sit where he can watch you. This action confused you slightly, but his eyes didn't seem irritated or upset. Once he is seated he speaks up again.

 

“Nowhere important.” He states. “To be honest I was looking for a brief break from paperwork. Since you’re here though, maybe you can help by telling me more about your village and the defenders.” Somehow you feel there is more to it than that, but you don’t think on it too much. His icy blue eyes stare into yours a moment. 

 

“The defenders.” You smile softly. “We are the ones who fight the titans, we protect the village.” You feel a weight suddenly as you realize, it isn't really that way anymore, and it hasn't been for some time. “Well, that’s what we used to do.” You say trying not to sound too upset over the whole thing. 

 

“Lately we don’t do nearly what we used to. Escort shipments like merchants or follow the scouts about like scavengers.” You say with a sigh. “Before the attack… before the smart titans came… we were something. We fought off cannibals, we took down titans without any of the gear you use. We protected our village…. Every day we lived by our own creed, to protect and preserve human life.” 

 

“Before the smart titans?” He asks. “You mentioned them before.”

 

“Hange calls them titan shifters… Like Eren, but nothing like him at the same time.” You say quietly. “For one, Eren is wild, but a decent person.” You look at him. “Actually, the shifters are why we decided to start using your gear. I… we would watch you, in the forest… Your way of fighting titans was safer and easier than ours. One of us started watching, observing how the harnesses were, trying to figure out the gear and eventually learned to use it. We originally scavenged for parts and supplies, but it turned out our neighboring village had a gas depot. So while we would scavenge, they would trade for fuel as well… over time we even learned to build what they called 3DM gear.”

 

“Learning to use gear, without anyone to teach you?” He says quietly. “Rather impressive really.”

 

“No, I’m just stubborn and love to fly.” You said… then you pause a moment at his slightly shocked expression. You realized, you hadn't said till then it was you. You blush softly, glancing away. “It took a long time…  and I had to use up an awful lot of fuel. Once I got the hang of it I started teaching the others. Really it wasn't until the leader from the neighboring village noticed that I found out they had the same equipment.”

 

 _And there, is some useful knowledge, dear._ He thought to himself. In fact, he had gathered quite a bit more from this encounter than you realized. 

 

~~~~ Erwin POV ~~~~

 

 _(Name, Lastname) She was a mystery and an enigma, that one puzzle that somehow drifted to my mind begging to be solved. What exactly is this woman? Why did she really come to us? Is she being honest, is it all a deception? Yet her eyes, there is no falsehood there..._ There were far too many thoughts in my mind to focus on the fact that she was telling me what she was. In fact, it seems almost impossible someone could just find our gear, watch us and make it work for their own survival. Yet somehow, she had managed that and to teach her people about it.

 

I watched her quietly, trying not to interrupt. Really, she seems to love to talk about her home. I wonder if she isn’t a bit homesick. Either way, it isn’t quite important. What is important is what I am learning about these shifters and their village. Anything about their equipment, their knowledge, their ways could be beneficial in our fight for humanity. _The fact that it brings me a little more time with this exotic woman… well that is a pleasant price to pay._ I think to myself. 

 

“You said you have your father’s research notes?” I ask. I am not certain why this was suddenly important. It was slightly off topic and seemed to take her back some. 

 

“They are in my family’s home… well, it’s mine, I suppose with everyone gone…” She said sadly. I doubt she even noticed how easily her (e/c) eyes would give away her emotions, they were starting to pool along the edges with water. _Yes, she is a puzzle, but maybe I should stop neglecting that she is still a human and a pretty one at that. Not that I have time for such nonsense._ I broke my thoughts quickly, trying to decide what to do next.  

 

I closed my eyes to think. _Perhaps the real answer here is to let her know our cadets. Being part of squad Levi will exclude her and I need to see how she reacts with the others. She needs to interact more in order to function as a proper part of the team. Fine, we’ll start there._ I open my eyes again to see her staring at me inquisitively. 

 

“We’ll fetch them when we go to see your village.” I say in my general matter of fact tone. We will have to go there… but what will we find?

 

 

~~~~~~~~~ Normal POV ~~~~~~~~

 

 

“I’m sure it will take some time to prepare for something like that.” You say. “Despite our best efforts, outside the wall is still over-run with titans. Though around our village there are less than most areas.” Actually at this point you are thinking out loud, but it seems to stir something of a fascinated glance in your direction. Seeing those ice blue eyes soften into fascination? Beautiful.

 

“What would you suggest?” One great eyebrow lifts itself at the question and it is hard for you to not smirk at the way it looks. Not that it is strange, but the man has powerful eyebrows. You smile softly instead.

 

“A larger expedition should gather to the forest. It’s neither atypical nor unexpected. Then once in the forest, I can call he scouts to help us.” I offer. “While they aren’t the most skilled fighters, they know how to survive and could sneak a small group into the village.” You grin a moment. “In fact, the scouts are rather adept at the game, they could call off part of the titans from the forest to the western region… it should reduce casualties along the way.” 

 

He nods slowly, letting your words sink in. He sets a hand gently on yours, which had been sitting on your lap this entire time. 

 

“Maybe we can pool our resources.” He says with a smile. “It will take time to prepare, but it is a fairly sound plan. For now, let’s get you back to training. I’m going to assign you with the cadets for a few weeks. I feel it’s rather important that you get to know who you are working with.”  He stands quickly, holding his hand out to help you up. 

 

You smile, setting yours gently in his. You find a strange sort of smile sneaking onto his face, his blue eyes sort of shimmering as yours meet them. You thank him and are rather surprised to hear the next words he says. 

 

“I’ll escort you to the training grounds.” He doesn’t even release your hand, simply takes it and tucks it away in the joint of his arm. You shyly slide your fingers into their new resting place at the inside of his elbow.

 

“Thank you, sir.” You say softly. He chuckles to himself.

 

“I really should check on them more often. I get so caught up in these stupid papers.” He motions to that stack again. 

 

You honestly don’t remember what the two of you talked about on the way to the training grounds, but somehow he got you laughing and he even lightened up some along the way. He managed the first genuine smile you had seen from him and though it only really lasted a moment, it was beautiful. A little like seeing a shooting star off season, it felt like a rare treat.  

 

Time seemed to go so fast before finding yourself out with the rest of the newer recruits. You scanned the crowd. There were so many familiar faces, but oddly, you didn’t see that girl Annie anywhere. _Doesn't matter, she’s probably still hurt._ You think to yourself. You smile as your gaze settles on Reiner and Bertholdt sparring. Really they were a good matchup, despite Reiner being a slight bit shorter than Bertholdt. 

 

Erwin gently took your hand from his arm and you stood still beside him. He then introduced you properly to the group as well as excusing your tardiness. Then he ordered everyone back to their training, motioning for you to join them. 

 

Ah yes, hand to hand combat… how fun.  You hadn't even noticed that he had left. 

 

Being left on your own to find a group to spar with, you decided to simply survey the groups a moment. Eren waves at you, as does his very timid looking blonde friend Armin. You started to approach them when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

 

“The uniform looks good on you… I wonder if it would look good off you?” The voice was familiar, but the tone was insulting. You turn around and punch the source in the stomach. 

 

“Ugh.. really?” Jean groaned as he hit his knees. “I mean yeah it wasn’t my best line, but still!” Jean’s devilish smirk was definitely not on his face at the moment. Somehow the contorted form of pain on his face made you feel guilty. You grabbed his shoulders gently, helping him to his feet.

 

“You really need to watch who you sneak up on, two-tone.” You say with a slight grin. 

 

“Well at least you didn't throw me on a table… then again, that might not be so…” Jean started, but stopped when you punched him playfully in the shoulder.

 

“Right, shut up.” You say laughing. Yes, his antics were childish, but it was almost cute. “Hey since I got a couple punches in already, did you want to spar?” You grin. He kind of looks at you a moment. 

 

“Um… didn’t they say you beat Levi?” He asks cautiously.

 

“That just means don’t make me angry.” You say with a grin. “I’ll take it easy on you…” He still seems hesitant but then gets an odd sort of grin.

 

“Yeah, sure… sounds fun.” Jean says as he picks up a wooden knife. “I have the knife, I’m trying to take you down… you need to get the knife and take me down.” He says.

 

“Is this an exercise for children?”  You ask with a grin. “We would have used real knives.” Honestly, this exercise was kind of striking your fancy though. Standard knife fight… okay let’s go.

 

You watch him spin to the left and easily counter. You watch his first three attacks. He seemed weaker on one knee, probably from a previous injury. You smile suddenly. 

 

After dodging a few more attacks, you realize he’s not actually trying to beat you. You decide to have some fun and allow him to get in a hit. _Okay, he actually hits pretty hard for practice._ You think to yourself. Now the game is on. You flip him around to where you can get a better grip and spin him past you into the ground.

 

He catches himself and you find another odd smirk on his face. He rushes you, grabbing you around the waist and planting his face in your chest as he pushes you backwards. _Right bold move two-tone._

 

You manage to break free of his grasp with a well-placed kick to that same shin he seems to favor. He doubles over, rubbing his leg in pain. 

 

“Teach you to get fresh with me, two-tone.” You giggle. You pin him to the ground with that fake knife at his throat. “Next time you want to try that… just ask.” You whisper softly with a sly wink. “Round one to (name).” You call out playfully as you step away.

 

Your eyes scan through the field again looking for another target, when they fall on a small figure of a girl. She has her hair pulled back into a ponytail with wild bangs and loose hair framing her face.  Her brownish hazel eyes met yours and she runs over to greet you… 

 

“Hi!” She yells. “Are you new? I have not seen you around before.” She has a strangely happy smile and you can’t help but notice as she sneaks a piece of bread out of her pocket to nibble on. You grin at her.

 

“I’m (Name)… kind of new around here.” You reply. She looks you over. 

 

“(Name) you’re from outside right? You’re kind of a legend… By the walls, you’re the one who saved Connie right?” She grabs you into a hug, pulling you up off the ground and spinning with you. Okay, so she’s… friendly… right?

 

“Yeah… Springer? That’s what they say his name is…” You say with a soft shrug. “Hey, can you put me down now?” 

 

“Oh yeah, right we’re supposed to be training. Want to spar with me?” Her smile is a little infectious and you can’t help but laugh.

 

“Yeah sure, why not. How much longer are we out here for?” You ask, taking up a fighting stance.

 

“Um.. an hour or two, why?” She replies testing your reaction to a simple punch.

 

“I’m hungry.” You say and she laughs. “Plus... I’d like to talk with everyone a little.” You offer up this bit of information a little sheepishly… You don’t really know anyone very well, even the few you think of as friends.

 

She grins. “I’m always hungry!” Pretty soon you are lost in playful sparring but you hardly notice when you've overtaken her, due to a slip of her foot and her landing on the ground. 

 

“That was fun! We should hang out more.” You say to Sasha, she gives you a hug and takes off across the field again, looking for a new target. 

 

You see that several of the groups have broken off and started talking. _I wonder if it’s because there doesn't seem to be any squad leaders right now._ You think to yourself. _But it’s a good chance to get to know people._

 

Reiner and Bertholdt are the first you decide to walk up to. After all, you did promise the shy giant you’d spend a little time with him. Since your eyes are locked on him, this time you won’t end up walking into him again.  As you approach you hear Reiner’s loud voice, even though he thinks you are out of earshot. 

 

“Seriously, is she yours or mine? Because I think she’s…” He pauses when he sees Bertholdt looking past him. “Um, pretty cool.” He finishes up quickly. He looks over at you with a big grin.

 

“So, kill any Levi’s today?” He asks teasingly. You stare at him blankly. 

 

“Is that going to be my reputation from now on? Maybe I should have lost…” You shake your head. “Anyway I thought I’d say hi to you and my friend Bertholdt over there.” You wave at him as you speak and he slowly comes a bit closer. 

 

“So you and Bertl have met before?” Reiner asks, looking you over closely. You aren’t even sure you want to know what he’s thinking with that crooked grin of his. “He’s a good guy, but he’s about as social as a rock with strangers…”

 

“He talks just fine when people are decent with him.” You state flatly. You smile at Bertholdt who gives you a week grin back.

 

“Um... about earlier… you were late, did everything go okay?” Bertholdt asks, placing his giant hand over the back of his neck. 

 

“I got them back in order. I doubt anyone even noticed.” Your smile and reply seem to comfort him. 

 

“Are we plotting things without letting me know about them?” Reiner asks. “Plus when did you two get so friendly?”

 

“He’s adorable, but so are you when you’re jealous.” You say laughing softly. “Anyway, no I keep running into him.”

 

“Literally… I’m starting to get used to it.” He says with a shrug. 

 

“It’s time for lunch. I think we should get back before potato girl eats everything.” Reiner says with a strangely disgusted look.

 

“Potato girl?” This name puzzles you, it must be a nickname, but for whom? 

 

“He means Sasha…” Bertholdt said quietly. You nod quietly and walk with these two rather large men back to the mess hall. 

 

You end up eating dinner with Bertholdt, Reiner and Jean who decided to move back in across from you. As you glance around the room you notice Eren looks upset. You make a mental note to check on him when you get the chance. 

 

“So, you finally decided to quit hanging out with Titan boy?” Jean asks. You stare at him a minute.

 

“I don’t think he’s all that bad.” You say. “Honestly he’s kind of cute.” Jean and Reiner both make a sort of choking sound. It doesn’t take you very long to figure out they are jealous and you find yourself giggling.

 

“You know if all shifters were hot I might be almost as interested in them as Hange, but less psychotic about it… Imagine the experiments I could…”

 

Bertholdt was the next one to kind of choke. You giggled quietly. “Okay guys, it’s okay I’m just teasing!” You send both of the boys beside you a cute little smirk. Jean is just staring at you from across the table.

 

“Wait… when did (Name) get a perverted side?” He asks, looking at you intently. In fact, now he seems even more interested than he was before.

 

“I just choose to be a lady most of the time.” You say raising an eyebrow. “When did you start being interested?”  You ask looking right at him. _Oh, that did it._ Jean turned bright red and started sputtering a moment.

 

“I’m… I never said I was.” He says. He looks at you a minute longer, then over at Eren’s table. Eren is going on again how much he’s improved and how it will help him next time he fights the titans. 

 

“You didn't improve titan shit. People just felt sorry for you.” Jean yelled. Before long there was a dozen or so insults and the boys were on the floor fighting. You shake your head and roll your eyes, looking away from them. 

 

You felt more than heard the quiet steps of the girl behind you. You wait silently as a hand slides between you and Reiner. Just as soon as it settles on your old bread you bring your hand down into the middle of it and grab her, you turn quickly to look at the person you grabbed. Yep, it’s none other than that pretty little brown haired girl you were sparring with earlier. 

 

“Wow… you really are fast!” Sasha says. “Um.. are you gonna eat that, because I’m really, really hungry.” She asks bashfully. 

 

“You don’t have to steal it you know. I don’t even like this food.” You say. “Honestly I’d like to go hunting and show these people what a real meal is…” You mutter under your breath. Sasha looks at you with wide eyes. 

“Wait, you hunt?” She asks, trying to sit down and literally sitting on you and Reiner to make room for herself. You chuckle lightly as Reiner moves away from you to let the girl in.

 

“Yeah… usually with my bow, but sometimes I use a crossbow. I don’t like using a rifle, it really just makes too much noise and you scare off the deer.” I reply. She looks at me again. 

 

“I haven’t seen a deer since I was little! We hunt boars in the village, or used to… but a deer?!” She jumps up and down, flying out of the seat next to you. “You should take me hunting just once! I always wanted to shoot a deer.”

 

“Only if you need the food. We don’t kill for fun you know… in fact… I hate killing them, they have eyes… brown ones like yours and… Oh never mind…” You say sighing softly. Yes, you really do have a soft spot for animals, even though in bad farm seasons they are the only way to survive. 

 

“You are now the coolest person I know… We should talk more. Oh.. I’m sorry I kind of stole your lunch while we were talking.” She says. 

 

You just laugh. “Tell you what… sometimes I hate this food, so if there’s something I don’t like it’s yours.” You say. She smiles and hugs you, pulling you right off the bench of the table. 

 

“I love you.. I mean, not like that but you are just the most awesome friend ever!” She yells. You try to get her to set you down and are eventually saved when Bertholdt places a large hand on either of you and just picks you both up by your uniforms. 

 

“Thank you Bertl.” You say with a grin. He blushes at the nickname but finds himself smiling.

 

“Uh… n-no problem.” He says looking a little flustered. You grin. “Lunch is about over. See you all later?”

 

“Yeah we have cleaning, then dinner, then more cleaning.” Sasha says. With that you all part to be assigned your various cleaning tasks. 

 

You were assigned to the infirmary, which works even better than you hoped, because you were going to skip dinner to check on Connie again. Now you may not have to, as long as you can do your cleaning quickly enough. 

 

You stop back by your room before going to the infirmary. Unknown to most people, your pack has a few hidden compartments. You reach into one of them, trying to find the small vial that has been hidden there. 

 

You sigh looking at it… there may not be enough for his wounds but you can make more later. You just have to find one of the scouts long enough to get the supplies. _It was so easy to memorize father’s formula… I don’t know why._ You think to yourself.  You put the bottle into your small pack and practically run to the infirmary. The nurse greets you sweetly, pointing at Connie’s bed.

 

“He usually wakes about this time, you know?” She says. “Is he your boyfriend? You’re in here checking on him all of the time.” She nudges you softly and you stare at her a minute, blinking.

 

“Boyfriend? Me? Oh no… I don’t have a…” You reply. You’re cut off by a swift laugh from the nurse and a pat on the shoulder. 

 

“Cleaning duty right?” She asks and you nod. “I need the supplies closet organized; it should keep you busy and close to Mr. Springer.” She says with a wink. “Don’t have too much fun, right?” 

 

You open the closet and quietly cringe. _Was this organized by a drunk?_ Cutting instruments were tossed haphazardly in a bowl. They were clean, but not at all properly stored. The bandages looked like they were literally thrown into the closet, they weren't even in their proper container. In fact, the gauze was one of the few things properly stored. Those were in a sealed jar. You actually find yourself shuddering at the thought. 

 

 _By the powers… They had my patient in this mess?_ You want to scream. You never considered that they could be this disorderly, although you have seen their quality of care. 

 

You pull everything out of the closet, setting them on a nearby operating table. Then you dust and clean the entire storage unit, piece by piece. You place each item in its proper container and then place them back into the storage unit in the order that they would need to be addressed if a patient came into the infirmary. You actually had gotten completely lost in this endeavor, forgetting a moment why you were originally here. 

 

When you turn around you see Springer sitting up staring at you. _Connie, remember his name is Connie_ You remind yourself. You close up the closet, satisfied with its new state and walk over to the side of his bed.

 

Once you arrive, you are met with the most beautiful hazel eyes. These eyes… their color looked at first like a rich golden brown with an overlay of faint green. The green seemed to wash across them creating a soft forest feel. In fact, he reminded you a lot of the forest: full of life, adventure and mischief. You could almost feel it radiating from his eyes. He wasn't meant to be caged and that’s exactly what his injuries had done to him.

 

You realize suddenly you probably look strange just staring at him like that. You try to find something to say but his voice blurts out quickly.

 

“You’re that girl… from the forest right?” He asks. 

 

“Yes.” You said. _It’s a replay of earlier but he probably doesn't remember._ You think to yourself before you speak again. “I found you on the ground, under a tree.” 

 

“I… remember a little. I thought I was dead, then you just came floating down and you found me…” He says slowly. “I thought it was a dream, until I saw you ransacking the supply closet.”

 

“It was a disaster! Oh titans how do they find a darn thing in there!” You protest, and then you realize what you just said and giggle lightly.  “I sound like a freak…” 

 

“A cute freak but freaks are fun, especially if they like pranks… You do like pranks right?” He asks you. _Do I like pranks? He doesn't know what he’s asking…_ You think to yourself. 

 

“Do I like pranks?” You say with a grin. “Does Sasha like to eat?” You ask with an even bigger smile.

 

His smile gets even bigger. “I guess I have to get better then so we can have some fun.” He says with a smile.

 

“Yes, you do. Oh would you like some tea?” You ask smiling at him. 

 

“Sure.” He says. 

 

It takes a bit to get back with his tea but you make sure he gets it. In fact, he needs to because you've poured what is left of your healing formula into it. You sit with him a while just talking as you wait for him to drift off to sleep. 

 

As you walk out of the infirmary you find yourself smiling. _I definitely made the right choice in saving this guy._ You think to yourself. You take his dishes back to the kitchen so that you can wash and put them away. It's nearly dinner time.

 

You're determined that you're going to spend that time with your friends, Armin, Mikasa and Eren, so you wait drifting off into a bit of a daydream to pass the time.


	10. The Trio, The Prankster, The Silence and The Messenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your new trio of friends reminds you of the past  
> A prankster comes back to visit.  
> Silence drowns your mind  
> And a messenger brings you bad news.   
>  *This sounds like a tarot reading instead of a summary... I love it*

You heard a voice in the distance, not too far from the outside of the mess hall.  You grin slightly as you identify it as your friend Eren, who is busily telling someone about his day of training and how much he’s improving and hopes to improve.

 

That’s an endearing quality in anyone, really. The desire to better oneself, he would have made a brilliant defender. 

 

The more you watch these people, the more you realize their scouting legion could readily be a perfect hybrid between the defenders and the scouts of your own people. As such, there wasn't a better fit for you. You’d been told that you should have been part of both.

 

You see Eren and Armin walk in first, with Mikasa trailing behind them. It brings you a slight smile. She stands like a guardian over these two men. Somehow the thought makes you smile. You feel that they need a guardian, especially in the case of the clearly too innocent Armin.

 

You fetch your plate shortly after them and ask if you might sit with them. This elicits a beautiful smile from Eren and a shy, timid response from Armin.

 

“Y-yes, please sit with me… us… um…” Armin speaks softly but clearly and he looks away with a slight bit of pink gracing his cheeks. You want to giggle but instead just smile and thank him sweetly. _Actually that was adorable._ You think to yourself. You set down your plate, leaving the others to guard your food from Sasha as you fetch them drinks. 

 

When you return you see Eren nudging Armin while whispering. Both boys seem embarrassed over whatever the topic is. Still you decide not to pry at your new friends just yet. You find their bond beautiful. It brings back fond memories of your brothers.

 

“You three are so close.” You say softly as returning. “It reminds me a great deal of how my brothers and I were.” You take the seat between Armin and Eren. Come to think of it, did you not set your tray next to Armin, at the edge of this little group? I guess it isn't important.

 

“Your brothers?” Eren asks. You smile at him with a gentle, sad smile. In truth you try not to think of them too much, but since being here it seems they keep coming back.

 

“There were three. Nikolae,  Vali and Ionel.” You smile sadly at the names. There were so many memories in those three names. They belonged to the family who adopted you. “Ionel and Vali were defenders, like me… Nikolae was a scout… He came to the wall city, to here, but we never heard from him again. Sometimes we lose our scouts who come here.” You say sadly. Then noticing the others and their expressions you try to change the tone.

 

“Those three though, we were inseparable, especially Vali and I. He was my guardian.” You say with a soft smile. “Ionel, he was good, kind, but he… well he wasn’t the same after his band fell in the battle against the men of the caves… Nikolae was the oldest. He always told us stories of the wall city, he had been here many times. He used to say, they aren’t such monsters, only people like ourselves with less to share.”

 

“You must have really loved them.” Armin said placing a hand on yours gently. You give him a weak smile.

 

“They were dear to me… yes…” You say. “But you three, you remind me of them, the way we all were. It makes me happy.” You are lost a bit in a reminiscent smile. 

 

 _Eren reminds me of Nikolae, so independent, not the strongest, but always trying to prove himself, always trying to show how good he could be. Mikasa… she is Vali, the strong, quiet warrior who would protect his family at any cost, and Armin… he was Ionel before his change. Ionel was smart. He was not good as a warrior, but if he made a plan it nearly never failed. Even when it did, he had another behind it._ You think. You find yourself smiling at the thought.

 

“I’m sorry. I have made this a little awkward…” You say suddenly, The boys look at you a moment.

 

“Actually. I think it’s the first time you’ve said anything actually personal about yourself.” Eren replied. His voice was gentle, soothing and it seemed to calm your anxieties. “It’s nice, getting to know you better.” You smile at him and hear Armin agree.

 

Mikasa gives you a quiet nod. She very seldom if ever talks. That is probably the biggest difference between Vali and her, then again… Vali would rarely if ever say more than two words to anyone except your small group. Perhaps she is just hard to get to open up.

 

It doesn't take long for you to choke down the disgusting food you have in front of you. The bread, you can hardly stand it. 

 

When Sasha came by looking for food you pushed it into her mouth with a giggle and she smiled at you then gave you a big hug. Yes, she will be a fun friend to have.  The meal time is nearly over when another, unexpected figure comes wandering into the room.

 

The rather short shadow of a man haphazardly dressed in his uniform stands in the doorway. Actually his presence confuses you. _Odd, unless his short stature made him heal faster, it still should have been another day or two… then again perhaps he is just that determined not to be in that bed anymore._

 

“Connie?” Sasha yells. She runs over to hug him and you launch up, grabbing her by the arm before she can get too far past you.

 

“Wait…” You say, she tries to pull away and you drag her back from him. “Wait… he’s still injured you don’t want to hurt him… hug him, fine but be gentle.” There is more authority in your voice than anyone has heard from you. It’s a strong, confident tone, but they should not have been surprised, this is your patient.

 

You release the girl gently and walk over to Connie yourself. In fact, you are rather shocked at this development. The formula is a healing accelerant, but this… This is new. Perhaps it is the difference in his metabolism being a Waller? It’s something you feel the strange desire to study. _And now… I sound strangely like father, even in my own mind._ You grin. _Still, this is brilliant, if it can heal them this quickly, what would it do to reduce casualties?_

 

You find yourself smiling at the way Sasha hugs him. Yes, they must be close. It’s a beautiful friendship the two have. In fact, seeing into it they are practically family in their own ways. You playfully, but lightly punch his shoulder and shoot him a grin.

 

“So, I talk about pranks and you can’t even wait until you’re fully healed?” Your voice is light and playful now. Really it’s just nice to see that he is no longer caged by being in that bed. Within a few days most of his injuries will be healed completely, leaving only light scarring except the one on his abdomen, which probably is going to have a decent scar to show for it.

 

He laughs. “Well there aren't many girls who like pranks you know.” He says with a huge smile. His musical sound though.

 

“Oh I imagine that one does.” You say with a grin pointing to Sasha. “Anyway it’s just nice to see you up. Did you want to eat, there’s still a bit left, Sasha hasn’t quite gotten to all of it.”

 

“Um… Yeah I was saving some for Connie, you know?” Sasha says with a nervous sort of laugh.

 

“More like, they have learned to guard the meals.” You say teasingly. She shrugs.

 

“It only lasts so long then I end up with it anyway.” Sasha replies. Yep, that sort of confidence actually makes you grin. There’s something mischievous and beautiful about this girl, maybe just the fact that she has such a wild, free-spirited nature.   _Maybe I am a little homesick, but people like these, they make me feel at home too._ You think to yourself.

 

Connie graciously accepts your offer, and you get him to sit down across from Eren and Armin, while you fetch him a plate of food. While you’re in the food line, you notice the boys seem to be getting along fairly well, despite looking a little irritated over something. You smile.

 

When you return with his plate, Connie thanks you with a thank you and  a big grin. This boy seems to be so happy and optimistic, it just leaves you smiling.

 

“I’m glad to help, but don’t get used to it.” You say with a mischievous look. “One of these times I might decide to do something to your food.”

 

Connie grins. “Nah, you’re too nice… At worst I expect spicy, or sour… It might be a nice change from nearly flavorless.”

 

“You sure know how to take the fun out of it don’t you.” You say with a fake pout. “Fine prank boss, what would you do to it?”

 

“Make it taste like real food, and then turn nasty after?” He says with a laugh. Yep, this boy is something else…

 

“I don’t know, if you can make this stuff taste real I might have to kiss you.” You say not thinking about it. “It’s quite awful and there isn't an ounce of meat.”

 

“So, is that an official challenge, because for a kiss it might be worth trying.” Connie says. Everyone at the table looks at him a moment. Did he just? Really?

 

“Okay Boss, you’re on. If you can honestly make this taste like a real meal, by my standards… I will kiss you, but I get to decide where and how.”

 

“Now, if I can’t, what do you expect in return?” He asks you.

 

“Since I now have cleaning duty, you can do me a favor and take it for a couple of weeks.” You say with a grin.

 

“Deal.” He says and he takes your hand shaking it. “You have no idea what you got yourself into (Name).” He grins then begins eating his food.

 

 _No, I honestly don’t, but you don’t know my standards of a real meal, either._ You think to yourself with an impish grin. _Ah we shall see Springer, how talented are you?_

 

After dinner you all went your separate ways again. It was nice though, this strange sort of familiarity. The past few years you had forgotten what it was like. You realize, you had actually distanced yourself from everything seven years ago. Maybe this time, inside the walls was exactly the change you needed.

 

~~~~ Short time skip ~~~~~

 

The silence of your room was getting to you again. You realize that it’s been ages since you shared a house with anyone, but the village was always full of sounds. The stone walls and lack of animals outside the window seem to drag the silence across you like a blanket. In this case though, it’s more like a scratchy irritating blanket. 

 

You've been tossing and turning for who knows how long. Sleep seems almost as evasive as a forest wisp and you know if you can’t find it you’ll have even more trouble in the morning. Finally you give up and wander down into the dungeons. 

 

Eren is being watched over by another cadet, one you don’t quite recognize, however, the boy had fallen asleep.  About the time you see the key hanging from this young brown haired boy’s belt you hear a voice behind you.

 

“(Name), Is that you?” Eren is standing at the bars looking through at you. You turn back and give him an anxious sort of smile.

 

“I couldn't sleep. It’s so quiet up there.” You say. Eren kind of chuckles under his breath.

 

“I had the same problem when I first got here.” He said.

 

“I… is it okay if I stay here with you a while?” You ask. You almost regret it with the way those turquoise eyes widen, but when his cheeks begin to shadow in the dimly lit room, you realize he’s blushing. “It’s just… I used to stay with my brothers when I couldn't sleep and…”

 

“You can stay.” He says with a smile. You pull the key off the other cadet’s belt. Despite your conversation, he didn't seem to stir. In fact, at this point you wondered if the boy would wake for anything.

 

~~~~~  Eren POV ~~~~~

 

She was the last person I expected to see come into the dungeons. Her (h/c) hair shimmered from the light from the lantern’s glow. She is beautiful. I know that Armin has a crush on her and it’s hard to want to keep thinking about her like this but when she asked to stay, how can I say no? There’s nothing I want more.

 

She sits on the floor next to my makeshift bed, leaning up against the wall. She looks exhausted.

 

“If you want, you can borrow my bed. I’m really not tired.” I say. Okay so I’m totally lying to her, but that’s alright, she looks like she could just fall asleep.

 

“I can’t do that, where would you sleep?” Her voice… She’s so adorable.

 

“Right here?” I say leaning up against the wall.

 

“No. come lay down…” With her… Yeah, no way in hell I’ll say no to that.

 

~~~~~ Normal POV ~~~~

 

You woke your typical before dawn and tried to get up, only to realize at some point through the night you ended up with an arm around you… _Wait what? Oh yeah… I came down to visit Eren…_

 

When you had fallen asleep he was awkwardly facing away from you, and right at the wall, trying to avoid touching you. It was adorable in its own way, but unnecessary. Still waking with him holding you was a little bit of a surprise. _A pleasant surprise but still a surprise._ You thought to yourself. Still, this situation could be taken completely the wrong way.

 

You tried to pry yourself from his arms, but he had an amazingly tight grip on you. It’s a wonder, really that he could be quite that strong without hurting you. Finally you decide on another option. You roll onto your back, and tickle his nose lightly. After a few tries, he brushes your fingertips away from his nose and you roll away.   _Ha, escaped!_ You think to yourself. You sneak out of the dungeon, after locking the cell and returning the key.

 

You sneak back upstairs and find your way to your room to get cleaned up and into some clean clothes.

 

~~~~ Time skip brought to you by fate ~~~~

 

A few weeks had passed since you first came to the Scouting Legion. You’re finally finding a way that you fit with everyone else. There are a few who simply avoid you, that’s probably for the best, but you find that the people around you are good friends.

 

You were on the edge of the training grounds when your eyes caught sight of a blonde haired girl again. Despite only having met her the one time, you realized it was Annie. You haven’t seen her since the day you two fought in the hall, it’s strange she should turn up now.

 

She was standing off at the corner of the training ground speaking with Bertholdt and Reiner. From the look of it, it wasn’t going so well. Reiner was red in the face and not the cute kind. Bertholdt is standing back with a sort of frustrated glower you had never seen before.

 

Her body language was clearly angry as well. Part of you wanted to approach, the rest of you thought it would be best to stand back and wait and then then ask your friends later on. It’s evening anyway, soon it will be too dark to watch, so you wander off a bit further away from the headquarters.

 

Your ears are hit with a distant sharp whistling sound. Two short, one long. You smile. _That’s a scout signal…_ You listen quietly a moment, as the sound repeats itself. No one has responded to it, so you decide to do so yourself.

 

You whistle loudly with three short sounds, two long, and a short. Then you stand where you are, waiting. A reply hits you… Three short and one long, whoever this scout is wants to meet you.

 

You give a simple acknowledgement whistle and wait quietly. You had intended to call the scouts weeks ago, you were out of supplies among other things. You didn’t expect one to find you here.

 

This scout was dressed in the clothing of the wall people. She wore simple brown pants and a light tan button down shirt. Her eyes were strong green and her hair was a pale blonde. You waited politely for her to move close enough to speak with.

 

“(Name), it’s nice to see you.” The woman says. _I don’t recognize her exactly, but I think I had seen her around the village before._ Your thoughts wander a bit more. _Clearly she is with the wall scouts, but…_

 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone from home.” You reply. “What brings you here? If you don’t mind my being direct.”

 

“You’re more tactful than you used to be, maybe the wallers are good for you.” She laughs. “Or do you not remember me?”

 

“I don’t… I’m sorry. I could lie or keep up pretenses but that isn’t me.” Your words aren’t harsh, in fact they come out rather gentle. She just smiles.

 

“I’m glad they haven’t changed you. You trained us in maneuver gear a few years back. I probably was just another ‘stinking idiot’ to you.” She said. _Oh yeah, I was a little rough on the trainees._

 

“It would explain everything but why you are here.” Your voice is more impatient than you want it to be. You aren’t sure why you felt anxious. Somehow, something feels wrong… terribly wrong.

 

She places a packet into your hands but doesn’t say a word. She simply watches you, quietly. You stare at it a moment, confused and turn it lightly in your hand. The object is probably only a bit longer than your hands and as tall as the width of one. It feels like a box, but it is wrapped in canvas.

 

“Who?” You ask, to be honest you don’t want to know the answer. You haven’t heard from them in a while and you have  a feeling you know exactly what this box is.

 

“Elder Landel.” She says. He was not the one you considered a father, but he was still a very close friend. In fact, he and your father had been close when you were a child. When you were small you used to call him Uncle Land.

 

“I see…” Your words fall off quickly as you turn the packet again, pulling the string off of it. This box was hand carved, one of his many little hobbies. You slowly open the top. Within are a few letters, an old journal and a collection of herbs. In fact, the herbs you intended to order to make another of those potions, the ones you had forgotten.

 

She looks at you expectantly. You don’t say a word, simply pull out the letter on the top. You find yourself shaking as you read the words written on it.

_(Name) I wish I could hope this letter meets you well but if it has I am no longer in this world. I have sent you my journal, it tells the parts of history that were lost to our people. I trust you to keep it safe. I have heard from the scouts of your adventures with the group they call the Scouting Legion. I always said you would be a good scout, did I not?_

_Here I am, trying to be serious and still I can’t seem to. I know you are already upset, and probably trying to force yourself not to cry. Don’t. I knew what I was about to do was most likely to end in my death, but I had to try._

_Lord Roderich has offered a handsome reward for your return. He says you have stolen important information from them. While most of our people are not that weak, I felt you should be aware._

_There is likely to be trouble for you. I am sorry, sorry I didn’t warn you about them. I have known for a good many years, but I am a coward. I always was. My house is yours. All the belongings are yours. I have one prayer in my life. If I do not kill Roderich as I have planned… do not seek vengeance yourself. It was my choice to attack him._

_Now I know you are going to blame yourself.  Do not. My wife… she didn’t leave as the rumors say. Roderich killed her, those many years ago. I was too much a coward to confront him then. I’m an old man, I’ll be dead soon either way. Let me die in battle with my wings intact._

_Never forget my advice though, because I am the fool who will not listen to it. “Never let anger own your heart to where you forget love.” Take care. Landel._

 

You fold the letter, keeping it tightly in your hand and close the box. He’s right, you have been crying. Your hands are still trembling and you are unsure exactly what to do or say. The woman has not moved, nor said a word. She is simply standing, waiting for you to respond. Gathering your strength, you look at her.

 

“Come back tomorrow. I will have a list of things that I will need. Please, ask Paul to tend Landel’s garden for me?” You ask trying to still the shakiness in your voice. Paul is Landrl’s neighbor. She nods and speaks again.

 

“Is there anything else?” She asks.

 

“Yes… But I will get to that tomorrow. Thank you for delivering this.” Your words aren’t even finished before you drag the woman into a hug. She awkwardly pats your back. When you release her she steps away and gives you a half smile.

 

“I’ll be here tomorrow evening, as the sun drops behind the walls. For now, maybe you should see about some rest.” She suggests. You just nod.

 

Once she is gone, you feel the weight of it. _More dead… more family lost… to them… Why can I no longer bring myself to hate them with every bit of my being? Why can’t I loathe them all enough to bloody the streets with their remains… Why, am I so sad all of the sudden?_ It had been a very long time since a death had hit you this hard. The last time was just under seven years ago, when you lost the last of your brothers.

 

You don’t even watch where you are headed as you aimlessly wander into the old castle headquarters, note and box still in hand. You don’t acknowledge any of the people who are staring as you pass. 

 

No one has ever seen you cry. You’re fairly sure they don’t know how to handle you right now anyway.  Right at this moment, you have no idea where you’re going, and you can’t bring yourself to be bothered to care.


	11. Shaken Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes even the strongest are weak  
> You awaken to a surprise  
> A heart to heart and a kiss goodnight

You are still wandering through the halls, not keeping the best track of where you are, but you have decided your best option is to start back towards your bedroom. Your tear filled eyes look back at the paper in your hand, then back at the box. Really it’s hard to even want to keep them open at the moment. 

 

It isn't just his death, that would have been bad enough, but suddenly your mind is back on the many people the titans have stolen from you. _It hurts, it hurts so damn much and I can’t even bring myself enough hate to numb the pain! Gah… Why??_ You think to yourself. 

 

You round another corner and slam into someone. The box almost drops from your hand and the paper slips away. You find yourself cursing. 

 

You look up, expecting to see Bertholdt again, after all isn't he the one you always seem to smash headlong into? 

 

Instead you are met with the concerned gaze of two large, perfectly beautiful innocent eyes. He looks at you with such concern and then reaches to pick up the paper you had dropped.

 

“I’m sorry, (name). I didn't mean to… what’s wrong? What happened?” He asks. You look at him, noticing the letter in his hand. You grab at it, but he keeps it away from you a moment and just holds it.

 

“N-nothing just give me that letter… I was headed to my room!” You practically yell at him. He shakes his head softly and sets his empty hand on your shoulder. 

 

“Two problems, you’re crying… and your room’s that way.” He motions with the hand still holding the paper. “Here let me walk with you.” He starts to look at it, but instead decides to set it back into your hand. Armin is observing you now, as you clutch the paper so tightly to your chest. _Yes, whatever it is, that’s why she’s crying._ He thinks to himself. 

 

He uses the hand on his shoulder to turn you back towards your room, guiding you gently and never removing himself from you. The contact is more comforting than you imagined it would be. Really you had thought until running into him that you just wanted to be alone. Now, you weren't so sure. 

 

You try rather unsuccessfully to juggle this box, letter and the door. He gently removes his arm and takes the box from your hand. You fish through your pocket grasping the key. After about four failed attempts to unlock the door, because of your shaking hands, you feel his warm hand close over yours, helping you place the key into the lock and turning it.  

 

“I’m sorry… I just can’t stop shaking…” You say blushing and looking away from him. He moves your hand lightly, taking the key from you and opens the door, motioning you to go in.  He closes it quietly behind you both as he enters. Once you are both inside, he takes the box and sets it on a small table next to your nightstand, then sets the key directly on top of it. 

 

He then pulls the only chair in your room over next to the bed and motions towards the bed. 

 

“D-don’t apologize, let’s just talk okay?” He says in a half timid voice. You can tell he’s trying so hard to just be there for you. Still, you can’t bring yourself to say what’s really bothering you right now. You sigh.

 

“Let me get these boots and straps off.” You mutter. You hand him the note so you can work with them. The way he is looking at the note, you can tell he’s already figured out that it is the source of a lot of this. You sigh softly, loosening the belt at the front of your chest so that you can breathe better.

 

“Read it.” You say flatly. He looks at you, noticing all too quickly that the mention of it has brought the tears back to your eyes again. As he starts to read to himself, you remove your straps, laying them nicely on the shelf near the foot of your bed. You then remove your boots and socks, dropping the boots where you always set them. The socks you set down on the shelf so you can pick them up when you change.

 

“Actually, if you don’t mind. I’m going to get changed.” You say, not really caring if he minded or not at this point. You’re exhausted, and it’s nice not to be alone. You grab a your sleeping dress, pick up your dirty socks and wander into the bathroom to change. 

 

When you come back out you notice two things. Armin had been lost in thought when you walked in, and when he saw you, he started blushing something terrible. You manage a weak smile, something you struggled to push out, since your heart was still in the middle of breaking over your past losses. You never figured they could haunt you like this.

 

He looked at the letter again, as if he was trying to find a way to fix it all for you. Still unsure of whom this man is, but all too clear on what has happened, he makes a decision. As you set on the edge of the bed, he offers you the letter back. You take it and slide it back into the box it had come from.

 

“Did you want to talk about it?” He asks you. You stare at him a moment, the tears starting again.

“I… He was one of the elders… I didn't think it would bother me so much…” You say with a sigh. “It’s just… Roderich.” You practically spit the name out. Every moment you think of him is another where poison fills your veins. Now your hands are shaking in a silent, cold rage and you close your eyes. “The son of a bitch has stolen so much from me… him and his stupid shifting monsters…”

 

You break down sobbing… not just crying but rather aching, wailing sobs. “My brothers, my p-parents, my friends, everything I love… I-I… don’t… I’m not strong enough.”  

 

Unable to watch anymore, Armin moves from where he is sitting to join you on the bed, sitting next to your crying form, he puts his arm gently over your shoulder in a comforting half hug. You bury yourself into his shoulder and just keep crying.

 

~~~~ Armin’s POV ~~~~ 

 

 _It’s so easy to forget, when someone seems perfect, that they are still only human._ I think to myself, wrapping my arms more tightly around her trying to comfort her. _She is in so many ways perfect…  But at this moment, I've never seen her more human._

 

 _It’s everything, all built up into a cataclysmic arrangement of sorrow, grief and loss… She’s been through so much. It’s a wonder she hadn't broken down before._ I just hold her closely, trying to keep my mind from wandering. Really, just holding her was my dream, but not like this… I never wanted to see her hurting. 

 

What killed me the most is I had absolutely no idea how to help her. 

 

~~~~~ Regular POV ~~~~~

 

You settle into his arms for a while, your sobs slowing into some sort of half functional hiccuping mess. Now you are even more exhausted and embarrassed at your own outburst. You nuzzle into his shoulder softly, relaxing against the warmth of his arms around you.

 

“Armin… I’m sorry…” You whimper. “I didn't mean to break down like this (hic)… I just…” Your voice is cut off by his.

 

“You’re just human.” He says. He takes one arm from around your waist, brushing your damp hair away from your eyes. “No one is strong all the time.” He responds with a confidence that even he wasn't sure he had in him but right now you needed strength. Even though he usually isn't the strongest guy, he wanted to be able to help.

 

“Yeah…” You mutter. You start hiccuping again and blush. “Gosh, I (hic)… make it (hic) Stop!!” You whine pulling yourself upright. 

 

“Can I get you some water?” He asks. “Or anything else?” 

 

“I’d love (hic) Some water… maybe tea too? (hic)” You start giggling now, and he grins at you.

 

“You are cute when you hiccup.” He says and then he suddenly blushes really brightly. “Okay I’ll be back with some tea!” He says loudly, rushing out of your room. 

 

 _He was blushing! Oh that was adorable._ You keep hiccuping, but you find yourself blushing at the same time. You wait patiently for his return, trying to keep your thoughts off of your family… but it starts pouring back again. 

 

Before very long, Armin is back with a glass of cool water, a pot of tea, and two teacups with saucers. He has also somehow managed to find a bit of sugar and put it into a small sugar bowl. All of this was skillfully balanced on a serving platter.  You smile seeing him walk back into your room. 

 

“You’re (hic) really good at balancing. (hic) Ugh I can’t talk. (Hic) Where did you learn to… (hic) OH I Give up!” You say throwing your hands up in frustration.

 

He gives you a brilliantly beautiful smile and hands you the glass of water. You take a drink, hoping it will do something for your stupid hiccups. (Hic) _Yeah no such luck._ You sit back on the bed, leaning up against the cool wall and just drink the water slowly. 

 

“Do you want anything in your tea?” He asks. It’s been nearly a full minute since you hiccuped, you aren't sure you want to test your chances talking, so you just shake your head instead.  

 

“C-can I join you up there?” He asks pointing to the wall. You give him a grin and nod. 

 

“Can you bring (Hic) my cup with you?” You ask. He smiles setting the cups down and removes his boots so he doesn't dirty the bed. Then he carefully hands your cup to you before making the attempt to crawl teacup and all across the bed to the wall. He leans back against it just like you are and smiles.

 

Neither one of you really talks; instead you both quietly drink your tea. You find yourself smiling. Despite wanting to cry over your losses, this somehow just reminds you how lucky you are.  You have a new family, it doesn't replace the old one, but the people here… they really are.

 

“It’s really nice to see you smiling again.” His voice reaches your ears and you find yourself blushing much harder than you’d like. 

 

“I was just thinking.” You say quietly. 

 

“You didn't hiccup that time.” He says with a cute kind of grin. 

 

“Don’t jinx it.” You poke him in the side. “Maybe the tea is helping.” You say with another small smile.

 

He doesn't say much more. He really doesn't have to. Right now it’s just nice to not be alone. Before long you find yourself starting with a half frown again.

 

“Something wrong?” He asks. You know he’s quietly observing you, the littlest change in your mood and he seems to notice it. But he also seems to genuinely care too. 

 

“Would… you mind staying a while. I just really don’t want to be alone right now.” You ask. 

 

He blushes lightly and then sees how frightened you actually look. He sets his hand over yours with a smile.

 

“I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” He promises. He really means that too, even if it was forever.

 

You aren't exactly sure when it happened but at some point you fell asleep leaning on his shoulder, with his arm around your waist. He had set your teacups off the edge of the bed on a shelf nearby. You only knew that because you woke up in this position sometime through the night. 

 

Efforts to wake Armin are met with a strange grunt and him asking Jean to leave him alone. You giggle lightly. He isn’t wearing his harness, and since his boots are already on the floor you decide to just make him lay down so the awkward position he is in doesn't hurt him and then quietly cuddle up next to him and fall asleep. 

 

~~~~~  A short time skip ~~~~~ 

 

You actually wake up at the sound of someone giggling relentlessly in the corner of the room. Normally the door would have alerted you first, but it failed you today. 

 

When your eyes do open, you find yourself almost nose to nose with a giggling, fan-girlish Hange Zoe. She just stares at you a moment more, then when your eye meets hers she squeals. It takes you a moment or two longer to realize Armin has wrapped his arms and legs around you tightly in his sleep and doesn't seem too keen on letting go.

 

“Geez, I thought you were cute before, but this is soo… Oh my gosh, I wish I could show someone, this is… Yeah I could ship this!” Hange’s usual lilting chatter hits your ears like a fast assault on them. You stare at her a moment or two. 

 

“Why are you even in my room?” You demand. She looks at you and laughs. “Three reasons, One I heard you were crying yesterday. Two, I heard you missed breakfast. Three, Armin was supposed to come help me with my research this morning and he wasn't there!” 

 

“So… that still doesn't explain why you are in my room.” You say still half asleep.

 

“You were crying yesterday.” She says repeating herself. 

 

“Why can’t you knock like a normal person?” About this time your voices have started waking up Armin.

 

“I would miss out on cute things like this!” She says motioning to you. Armin has suddenly become aware of his surroundings.

 

“Oh walls... (Name) I’m so sorry. I...” He unravels himself from you, shooting into a sitting position and blushing terribly. He crawls off the bed fast as he can grabbing his boots. “I didn't mean to… It’s just... I fell asleep… and I sometimes want to cuddle when I’m sleeping and… I…”

 

You giggle almost as loudly as Hange does and he just stares at the both of you. Then you give him a sweet smile.

 

“Thanks for being there for me yesterday, Armin… It really did help a lot.” He smiles slightly at your sweet voice.

 

“I-uh- y-our welcome…” He says. He grabs his boots, flinging himself into a chair and starts pulling them on. Hange looks at him

 

“Oh don’t stress so much, it was just me. It’s not like Levi or someone saw anything. Go get changed and cleaned up, then meet me back at my lab alright?” She tells him. He nods and thanks her, then excuses himself.

 

As soon as he leaves, Hange gives you this completely inquisitive look removing her glasses to stare into your eyes deeply. “So… now I have to know… and this is super important so don’t lie to me.” She starts and you look at her with the most puzzled expression you've had in a long time.

 

She leans in even closer, examining your eyes and face. “I’ll know… I’m like, Hange the lie detector or something.” She chuckles. “Anyway, super important question: Did you kiss him?” 

 

“H-huh? Wait, that’s not… What, why would you even ask that?” You all but yell at her; blushing so much now that she could probably see it on your ears.

 

“So no, not yet… Aww come on (Name) when are you going to kiss someone? I need to know which one you kiss first!” She asks laughing softly.

 

“Okay crazy lady… I need a shower.” You try to usher her out of the door.

 

“Oh you’re with me today… So I’m going to stay, get showered and we’ll walk to the lab together!” She says lightly. You sigh, shaking your head and gather up some clean clothes.

 

~~~~  Let’s skip the whole day, why? Oh gosh, the things Hange does to Eren ~~~~

 

It’s nearing dusk when you meet with the scout again. You give her a list of items you need to create another of those healing potions. You also ask her to deliver a letter to your home and your beloved elder.  She suddenly asks you how you are feeling.

 

“Hurt and angry.” You admit. “But I will be okay. It is just one more loss, in an endless war. I can’t save them all.” The voice is bitter though. In fact, much more bitter than you had intended.  She nods.

 

“It will get better.” She promises. 

 

“I hope so.” You say with a sigh. You dismiss her and she takes off again. As you turn to walk away you hear someone rush up behind you. _Great… I wonder if they saw..._

 

“(Name) are you okay?” Reiner’s voice was warm and comforting as it reached your ears. A part of you didn't want to be around any of the hungered ones… but his voice and presence was comforting to you, after all you've been friends for a while now.

 

You never slowed down so he continued to walk beside you as he tried to get you to talk to him. 

 

“Not really.” You admit. “I lost my uncle… in a senseless way…” Your quiet tone causes him to stop walking a moment and grab you. He spins you around to face him and drags you tightly into his arms for a hug.  

 

“Did you want to talk or is it okay if I just hold you a while?” He asks. You find yourself smiling at this, you didn't know what he would do, being who and what he is, but he has been your friend in the past month and really… he’s a part of your family just like the rest of them.

 

“I think I can handle him being gone… What I can’t handle is what I've come to realize.” Your voice is heavy and sad. You don’t want to talk about this, not with him… not with anyone, but especially not with him.

 

“I don’t understand.” He says, his arms are still tightly around you and you struggle a little to pull back out of them.

 

“Neither do I. I lost my hatred… I used to honestly feel I could walk through that entire village and kill everything in my path. Like it wouldn't even bother me. Maybe back then I was right, too. But now I’m not sure who the monster really is… them, or me.” You say quietly.

 

“You aren't a monster.” He replied. “I know monsters, you aren't one.” His grip around you tightened slightly as he pulled you closer to his chest. You refused to look up at him, but rested your hands on his chest gently.

 

“You sound so sure of that. I’m really not sure.” You say remembering. “I killed every single one of them…” You want to scream, but you can’t. You want to stop talking but you’re possessed by this need to clear your mind, no matter what. 

 

You thought for a moment you felt him kiss the top of your head, but honestly you weren't certain. His warmth was nice… right now, with everything maybe warmth is all you need. 

 

“I was going to kill the entire village or die trying. I… hated them all for hiding shifters or being them.” You felt him clearly stiffen at the comment. You honestly didn't know how he’d react. “I never imagined coming here and getting to know several of them. So far only one I can’t get along with, the rest… if I had been warned that I could c-care… m-maybe love… that they could become my family… I don’t..” You shook your head furiously. 

 

 _What’s wrong with me? Have I broken? I am stronger than this…_ You think to yourself. _It’s true, you love those three men… what kind of love remains to be seen. There are several men here you've come to love… humans, shifters… the Wallers have become your family._

 

“L-love… the s-shifters?” This voice, it was something you had never heard in him before. In fact, if anything Reiner was blunt and confident. His stuttering nearly takes you back. But it does something you weren't expecting. It makes you smile. 

 

“Love… and not like Hange, but I swear when I say it I think of her antics.” He chuckles lightly. Yeah that helped a little for the both of you.

 

“No, the four I know, there are three that have become a part of my heart. That wasn't meant to happen.” Your words seem to just float in the air.  “Each one has their own place… I’m not sure, not yet how big of a place that is… I never imagined Wallers… especially the shifters would become people I couldn't stand the thought of losing.” You push away from him, starting to walk off again. “I’m sorry. I need to go…” 

 

“Wait.” He grabs your arm pulling you closer. His lips press against yours and you freeze. He’s warm, his arms tightly around you and you’re confused. _What… why? I can’t…_

 

He breaks away and watches you a moment. Your confused expression and clear shock cause him to drop his arms from around you, but he doesn't walk away, rather he just watches you quietly. 

 

You giggle nervously and blush, your fingers rush to your lips and you stand there with a wide eyed expression. Whatever was bothering you before seems to be gone, instead you’re standing here, confused staring at an even more confused looking man. 

 

Oh it wasn't your first kiss, but it was certainly unexpected. You blush, looking away and still giggling. He waits, patiently for any response at all. 

 

“Y-you… kissed me?” You stutter out with a giggle. “I…”

 

“I’m sorry… I shouldn't have.” He seems upset, it’s in his voice. The way he is standing it’s clear that he was expecting some other reaction. Rather it reduced you to a giggling little girl, which is not the reaction either of you expected. 

 

“No… it’s okay. I just wasn't expecting…” You motion him to bend down closer. When he complies you kiss his cheek sweetly. “I don’t know how to react.” _Okay that was the most honest thing I've said all week._ You think to yourself. 

 

He stands up and starts rubbing the back of his neck. Yeah, this is very awkward now. You smile at him and decide to just go back to your usual flirty self.

 

“Then again… it was rather nice.” You say with a grin. “I might just have to think about it some more.” With a quick giggle, you take off at a run towards your room again.

 

One very confused, rather tall Germanic looking man followed towards the headquarters building, shaking his head in utter confusion. _This girl, she has me all in a knot. Maybe Annie was right. Feelings can confuse the whole plan… but maybe it’s worth it._ He thinks to himself while walking back. _I know one thing though… I don’t plan on giving up anytime soon._


	12. Messing with Mike, Hange's New Experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turn about is fair play...  
> She's going to do WHAT?  
> Why do you call him Two-Tone?

It’s been a few days since you learned about your uncle’s death. Thing seem to have pretty much gone back to normal other than the occasional questioning if you are alright. Honestly, you find it reassuring that people are worried, but you do feel a lot better after your little breakdowns earlier. 

 

You’re fully aware it’s going to hurt a while but you aren't going to let it keep stopping you either. You find yourself smiling as you reach the door to Hange’s lab, which is where you were assigned for the day.  You stop a second just outside of the view of the door when you hear her talking inside. 

 

“Honestly, Mike, I can’t believe you still haven’t managed to sneak up on her. I mean, you've never had that much trouble catching anyone from Squad Levi before.” She says laughing. “Maybe you’re just doing it wrong?” 

 

 _Mike… Mike… Oh the guy I threw on the table for trying to smell me…_ Since you’ve been here it was explained to you this is just one of his quirks and he’s honestly not a bad guy. You just thought it was such a strange thing. Now… You sort of want to see what the appeal is. 

 

“Been away.” He replies with a shrug. When you come around the frame he is seated with his back to you. Hange starts to say something until she sees your finger pressed tightly against your lips motioning for her to stay quiet. She also sees this sly smile that you are now wearing. 

 

This is the point where your training as a hunter really pays off. You move nearly silently despite the sound of this awful fabric you wear. Hange tries not to watch you directly instead drawing the conversation on with Mike.

 

 

~~~~~ Mike’s POV~ ~~~

 

 

“You were gone for weeks… While she was here making friends… and beating Levi in 3dm practice.” She says with a laugh. “I have to say that was the best thing I have ever seen. I’m still not sure Shorty has forgiven her for it.” 

 

“I imagine not.” I reply. _Beat Levi? Even I haven’t managed that… I suppose I have gone from second to third then..._ My sense of smell though can tell someone unfamiliar is in the room.  I attempt to keep from acknowledging that keeping my face quiet and still. 

 

I can tell it is a woman; her scent is soft and feminine. She smells a bit of the woods and wildflowers, of warm sweet air and deep bodies of water. I can very nearly smell her anxiety but I somehow cannot hear her moving. That’s new to me, normally I can hear the rustle of fabric or the shuffling of feet. This girl is very nearly silent.

 

I stayed still figuring she wanted to sneak up on me for some prank. Instead, the action she took next was somewhat shocking to me.  She came up directly behind me, as close as she could get and leaned down, inhaling my scent deeply… _Well, this is a peculiar turn._ I think to myself. Peculiar and rather exciting to me somehow. 

 

Although I try repeatedly to tell myself that she is likely mocking my peculiar habit. Still, it amuses and somewhat excites me, perhaps more than it should, as I can’t seem to prevent my eyes from widening at the shock of such an action from another. 

 

She stood there a bit longer than I expected and I decided it was my turn to see who this is. I grabbed her quickly by the wrist barely turning from where I was. I spun her around the edge of the chair, causing her to lose her balance and then grabbed her other wrist to drag her into my lap, where my right arm could keep her from falling over the opposite side.

 

I am not sure why I find it surprising to see that the woman in question was indeed that girl from outside the wall. I should have expected it, in fact, but this is exactly who I was looking for and I am not going to miss this chance.  

 

She is simply staring at me. I finally get a decent look at these (e/c) eyes of hers and I can’t help but want to stare, but I choose not to. Instead I cup her chin with my hand, turning her face away from me and lean down to just breathe her scent in. That lingering smell I could not quite find the one that had slowed me the first time we met… Now it was so clear. Pure, perfect fire… like the light of the sun, burning brightly and painlessly in my mind. 

 

If every ounce of heat and warmth of that beloved sunlight had been cast into the earth in a single person… that is the fire in her scent… The only word that escaped my lips…

 

“Captivating.” My mind has drawn completely blank… That’s never happened before…

 

 

~~~~~ Regular POV ~~~~~

 

 

 _Captivating? What does…_ Your thoughts have pretty well drifted away. This position should feel awkward. So why doesn’t it?  Mike still has a soft, almost tender grip on your chin and his nose not quite touching your neck and shoulder.  The arm behind your back has settled on your waist just above the hip.

 

You find an odd sort of smile crossing your face. You know you should get up. You catch another hint of his scent, earthy and sweet, soft scent… Yeah, maybe there’s a reason he likes smelling people, because his smell is rather lovely… _Um wait, what the heck am I doing?_

 

“I could ship this too.” Hange says, you turn to see her sitting across the desk from you with an absolutely fascinated expression and she grins wildly. Suddenly her hands are waving about. 

 

“Oh gosh, I wish I could show everyone how cute you are (name)… I can’t believe how adorable you look right now.” She giggles as you roll your eyes. About this same time, you hear a soft voice near your ear. 

 

“Sorry.” It’s all he says then he picks you up as he stands. Once he’s up he sets your feet back on the floor again. When you look at him, you can see a pale pastel blush crossing his cheeks. Then again if the burning in yours means a thing, you’re probably bright red by now.

 

Hange grabs your arm dragging you off to the corner to interrogate you about every single boy who’s ever shown interest in you, all the way back to your teenage love Jericho. The woman was utterly relentless asking every single detail she could find. You never even noticed when Mike wandered out of the room.

 

“Um… Have I just become one of your wild experiments?” You ask, the second you do you regret it. You see her eyes glimmer and you think possibly glow. In fact, it was downright creepy how they lit up behind those glasses. Then there was the smile evolving into a twisted nearly demonic sort of grin that held some kind of wickedness behind it.

 

“OH… now that would be fun… Why hadn't I thought of it before?” She shrieks out. You sigh _What have I gotten myself into?_

 

“Oh but first, we need to round up a few boys.” She says with a devilish smirk. You let out a exasperated sigh, placing your hand to your forehead… This is going to be a very, very long day. 

 

“(Name) hurry up cutie!” She calls back to you. She grabs your wrist, dragging you out into the hallway in search of prey… well, men to help with the experiment. 

 

 _Someone please just let the titans attack, or anything?_ You silently plead to yourself when the first door she knocks on is the commander’s. She pounds the door relentlessly and you have never been more relieved to hear no response.

 

“Hange… I don’t think…” You say she waves her hands again and then hits the door a few more times.

 

“Aww, come on commander!!! Aren’t you there??? We need you!” She kicks the door and still getting no response turns around and says “Ha, if he’s not in there then it’ll be harder to hide!” With that she drags you on down the hallway, stopping at Levi’s office, despite your saying he’s at the training ground.

 

Eventually she drags you to the training grounds, where unfortunately she manages to spot both Levi and Erwin talking to the cadets. _Great, now I’m doomed._ You think to yourself. 

 

“Oh even better!!!” Hange squeals. Yep, you’re doomed. “Alright I have an announcement. I need as many male cadets as possible, we’re going to be conducting some serious experiments here!” She yells as loudly as she can. Everyone turns to her including the corporal and commander. 

 

“I do not want to know.” Levi says with his usual indifference. He starts to turn away when he notices you hiding behind Hange. “Just return my squad member when you are finished.” He says flatly.

 

“But Shooorty… You have to help me, you’re part of this too…” She sings. “I need you, and the commander and the boys of the hundred and fourth… and…. OH… Maybe I should just take all of the men!!” She sounds more excited with every breath and you cringe. 

 

“I’ll regret this. What exactly do you have in mind and why are you tormenting our newest member?” Erwin asks her.

 

“Oh it’s no torment, she really likes it when I help her with things like this.” Hange says . “And anyway what’s more interesting than finding out how things are for people who live outside the walls. I mean… we’ll be checking on so many different aspects of dating, sexuality… what’s the same, what’s different. Heck maybe we’ll even take it further, I mean there is so much we could go into. Not to mention she’s super cute and she’s way single… and I don’t think a one of you haven’t noticed!” 

 

Hange was talking so fast the words were starting to blend together, but you really cringed when she said sexuality… You weren't completely inexperienced but at the same time you were still… 

 

“Whoa! I never agreed to this. Hange you can’t just…” You were blushing furiously now and looking for a better place to hide. Your eyes settle on your commander. He can stop this right? 

 

“Hange Zoe” He yelled. “You’ll do nothing of the sort. Get back to your titan research. This is completely out of line.” To be honest, it wasn't hard at all to read the commander at the moment. His usual quiet demeanor had gone into full blown anger. In fact, much more than you felt the situation called for, but it was a relief too.

 

“Cadet (Lastname), I need a word with you.” Erwin said in a softer tone pointing to a spot on the opposite side of him from Hange. “Hange, get back to your lab and get your focus where it belongs.” 

 

You eagerly dodge around the side of the strangely possessed Hange and join the commander, who is still watching Hange. 

 

“Fine, but don’t think you've gotten out of this, (Name)… We still have so much to find out!” She sings the last sentence, leaving you feeling just as nervous as before. _Seriously I need to learn to keep my mouth shut._ You think to yourself staring after her. 

 

“Now, may I ask what that was all about?” Erwin says as he turns to you. His voice is much softer now, so are his eyes. In fact, he has been much gentler the last few times you have seen him. 

 

“You can ask… but I’m not sure I can explain her insanity…” You reply. Yes, it sounded a bit rude. It wasn't intentional, you just really didn't want to talk about it..

 

“I see. So what brought all of this on.” He asks looking at you. You’re clearly fidgeting and you have to focus to make it stop. Instead you decide it’s easier to just stare at him, focusing into those blue eyes seems to calm you down anyway.

 

“Well, sir… you see…” You are trying to decide what part would or wouldn't be okay to discuss with him when you realize you’re a terrible liar. “Hange has seen some of my friends and I together and she assumed we were much closer than we are. Now she’s determined to unravel my whole love life or help me fabricate one… I’m not exactly sure which, but I am officially concerned for my safety and sanity.”

 

He watches you a minute and then starts laughing. Which leaves you in an even more puzzled state. You give him a rather strange look and then look at Levi, who is staring at the commander as well.

 

“Better you than me, which … She’s been trying to set me up for years.” He says, calming himself back down. “I’m sorry, she’ll be at you all the time now about who you do or do not like, but maybe I finally caught a break… Maybe I should be thanking you.” He grins. “Of course, Levi you don’t get that kind of reprieve, since she’s already decided who YOU will  be dating.” 

 

Levi actually takes the effort to roll his eyes. “Fucking disgusting.” He says “Anyway, cadet shouldn't you be training, since you are obviously not assigned to shitty glasses at the moment.”

 

“You’ll never see me happier to be training.” You say with a smile and shoot off to join the other cadets. You watch as Erwin and Levi talk for a while longer, but get caught up and focused on your training instead.

 

You and the rest of the special operations squad work with the main group for an hour before being separated off for what Levi called elite tactical training. This involved several hours of 3DMG practice, then an hour more of using it to stealthily hide around the headquarters and clean dust and cobwebs out of hidden corners of the ceiling… okay strange practice, but it was fun.

 

Once you have clearance to do so, you take off your gear and put it away. Then you start back towards the mess hall. Along the way you hear someone approach you and you grin slightly. His voice doesn't take long to meet with your ears.

 

“Hey, (Name), wait up would you?” Jean’s voice was shouting down the end of the hallway and you get a sort grin and keep walking, just a little bit faster than before. 

 

~~~~~ Jean’s POV ~~~~~

 

 _Did she seriously just go faster? Damn this girl…_ I find myself speeding up trying to catch up with her. I have barely seen her at all today and it’s frustrating the hell out of me. Though, I’d honestly never admit that. 

 

I watched her skillfully dodge around people in the hallway and realized I probably have the best view in the house. _I mean seriously from this angle this girl is just… Whoa there Jean… not even right, but I have to admit……_ I shake my head, rounding the corner again after her. By now we've broken into a run and I notice her hanging back around corners with a sly grin before she turns the next one. Yeah.. She knows exactly what she’s doing…

 

I come around the last corner and grin as she hits the end of the hallway. Either go out the window, or wait… and she wouldn't… well shit…

 

~~~~ Normal POV ~~~~

 

You stood in the frame of the window, and dodged to the first rock you knew would hold you. Within a matter of minutes you were well on your way climbing up from the second story towards the third. You heard his voice from inside the building…

 

“Shit, is she crazy?” Jean leaned out of the window, checking down first. You giggle, which draws your attention to where you are, a good several feet above him already. You start climbing faster, moving with such skill across the loose rock walls that he isn't sure you’re not part spider. 

 

You judge them quickly as you scale the wall, some are loose enough they would drop you in an instant. When you hear his wires fly up past you though, you realize he’s found a decent vantage point and he won’t be as slow as you are. You scan the wall, seeing his wires fixed at a strange angle above you. 

 

Honestly this won’t do too well to hold him and it makes you slightly anxious. You climb up higher, trying to dodge the inevitable crash against the wall, if not the ground. 

 

You've clearly underestimated Jean. He shoots upward until his wire slips, then takes a better angle on the wall and shoots his wires back above you. This causes his body to press up against yours, pushing you into the wall and pushing quite a bit of breath from you. 

 

He holds you there a moment, allowing his wires to keep you from falling. His hot breath hits the back of your neck and you tense up. You aren't sure what to do now. You’re great at free climbing, but right now you can’t even move. 

 

He wraps one arm tightly around your waist and starts lowering you both with his wires towards the ground. You find yourself laughing a little at the situation, you were probably safer on the wall without gear than he is with it.

 

“What the hell are you thinking?” He demands. “You could have been hurt, do you even know how dangerous that was?” 

 

“I am fairly sure I can handle it Jean… It’s not like I never climbed without gear before.” You say sassily. He looks at you again then looks at the wall then back at you.

 

“You can’t just do things like that!” He yelled then he noticed your expression. A delighted smile had crossed your face without you knowing.

 

“Is my two-tone worried about me?” You say with a giggle."If you fell I'm sure my two-tone would have saved me right?" You grin at him.

 

“When did I become your two-tone?” He asks looking at you curiously. His tone though calms down from angry to slightly irritated and a little curious. “Come to think of it, why do you call me that?” 

 

“Wait…I thought we were on the subject of how dangerous my little wall climbing thing is… What happened?” You ask playfully. 

 

“No… We’re talking about this thing where you claimed to own me.” He says smiling at you. 

 

You realized you were still standing with his arm around you and you shift slightly, but instead of letting you escape he pulls you in just a bit closer. 

 

“Am I not allowed to call the people I care about mine?” You say. “You’re my friend and very dear to me.  I am allowed to call you my two tone if I want.”

 

“I’d call you mine.” He said under his breath, then noticing the expression on your face he laughs and says. “I mean my friend, family, more than that… I mean…” He shakes his head.

 

“Are you flustered, two-tone?” You giggle again, resting your hand on his chest lightly. Yes, this was intended to be a flirty gesture and he certainly responds to it.

 

“Bah.. Uh.. I.. No, of course not what the hell made you think that?” he says blushing redder than you have seen him before. You laugh softly.

 

“It’s cute when you’re flustered, but you just narrowly missed being part of Hange’s romance project… so I’d dodge her a while if I were you.” You say with a smirk. 

 

“Romance project?” He asks with a curious glint I his eye. 

 

“Don’t think about it!” You say. “This is Hange, deciding who she can and can’t put into relationships!” 

 

“Hmm. Anyway, you didn't answer my other question.” He reminds you quickly. “Why do you call me two-tone?”

 

“Because of your hair.” You say ruffling it with one hand. “It has two colors and I never did understand the whole horse thing anyway… unless it refers to something else…” 

 

You look at him… and stop talking. He turns even more red and just stares at you completely blankly. _What is his problem, I only said… Oh god… he didn’t think I meant…_

 

“Geez… that just got awkward.” You start laughing and he follows along close behind.

 

“Maybe they are bragging about my fifteen meter titan.” He says with a grin. Okay now we have the old Jean back!

 

“Maybe.” You reply. “Hey Jean, want to walk me back to the mess hall, it’s almost time to eat.”

 

“Sure thing hot stuff.” He says with a smirk. You walk back together still enveloped in a somewhat awkward, somewhat beautiful silence.


	13. Going Hunting, Real Food, and Punishments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunting trip you promised!  
> A bit of cooking with(out) Sasha!  
> You're not alone.

You and Sasha are preparing for that hunting trip you promised her. She gives you a few strange looks at the suggestion to leave behind your 3DM gear… You consider it a burden. Finally you agree that you’ll both wear your gear, because she’s worried about you. _Why should I worry my friend unnecessarily._

 

It’s late in the evening and Sasha had just finished dinner by the time you convinced Hange the best thing in the world was for you take a few days away. She was concerned at first, until you told her you’d like to try an experiment. The word always makes her eyes light up. 

 

You wanted to prove that an improved diet would help the battle skills and statistics of the Survey Corps. She wasn't sure it would, as it’s not their normal diet… so now you are betting on this, and you pray you win… Because losing means Hange gets to do one experiment.

 

She pouted for quite a while when you agreed on the condition that said experiment doesn't last over four hours and doesn't involve any man, men, or other form of the term male. Yeah, you were that specific. She’ll still find a way around it. 

 

Sasha packed up a small bag, thank goodness she travels light we’ll need the extra space. You smile at her and invite her into your room. She sits on the chair near the table and fidgets with something, while chewing on another piece of bread. 

 

You reach into your bag looking for a few small supplies. You realize rather quickly you have no bow. That’s the first thing to remedy. You thought of making a bow, but Hange only approved you two days. Fine, you’ll requisition one from the scouts.  

 

You also find your good carving knife and grab a small vial. It contains an identical potion to the one you used on Connie. You grin as you pull out a small packet that has been hidden away in here. 

 

“Ooh Sasha~?” You sing smiling at her. She looks at you with a sort of inquisitive look. For one, you aren't one to just sing like this normally, it usually means you found something exciting. “Have you ever had berry leather?”

 

“Had what?” She asks… she looks at you with a curious and hungry expression. “Is that a kind of food?”

 

“Yes! You take and press berries into a paste with honey and then let them dry out till they are chewy. It makes them last a very long time and easy to transport.”  You didn’t even get to the word honey before she started drooling. You giggle softly holding up a small package of square shaped snacks. “This batch can’t last more than a couple of months, so if you want…” 

 

She had snagged it out of your hand before you could even finish the sentence. You hadn’t told her yet, you actually have a few of these. From her reaction you figure it’s better she doesn't know. 

 

“Mmmff this is good.” She mutters around her over-stuffed mouth. Once again you are giggling. She looks like a squirrel; her cheeks are full of the sweet-sticky concoction.  

She continues to make delighted sounds as you grab the twine out of your larger pack and stuff a few other items into the smaller one. You quickly organize your room, making the bed and ensuring it is all set for your return. 

 

You and Sasha walk out the door and practically into Connie, who is excitedly and a little impatiently waiting outside. 

 

“Hi Connie.” You say with a smile. You two have become fairly good friends since he got out of the infirmary. 

 

“Hey (Name) are you guys planning on going somewhere?” He asks.

 

“Yeah, we’re going hunting… I wish I could take you but we’d have way too much fun.” You wink at him and he grins.

 

“You, me and Sasha, alone somewhere… would anyone be safe after a trip like that, I mean imagine the mischief we could get into!” He grins and gives Sasha and you each a hug.This is also when he notices Sasha’s squirrel cheeks. He suddenly squeezes them.

 

“Did Hange do something to you, or did you steal some meat, or what’s with the face?” He asks playfully. 

 

“If I told you, then we’d have to share, we have secret sweets stashes!” Connie looks at you and then back at Sasha. 

 

“Sweets…” He gives you a strange sort of wicked grin. “Do I get some?” 

 

“Nope…” You pull another bag of the dried fruit out and pop a little square into your mouth. “They’re all mine!”  He tries to grab the bag and you spin around the side of him, then Sasha dodges his attempt to take hers. 

 

“You guys!! Come on!!!” His playful cries ring through the hall and you finally have to shush him.

 

“Connie… It’s almost curfew you can’t be that loud!” Your protest is used as a quick distraction and he grabs the bag just long enough to free a small square from it. You snag back the bag as he pops that one in his mouth.

 

“Titans, walls and what the.. These things are amazing where did you get them?” He mutters loudly. You laugh softly as he tries to reach for the bag again.

 

“I made them. They really aren't that hard, the hardest part is finding enough berries.” You reply and he grins brightly. 

 

“If you make me more I’ll love you forever!” He proclaims. You give him the most serious face you can pull together. It’s hard to be serious with his constant grin…

 

“You mean you don’t love me?” You pout. Sasha giggles and looks at Connie who has the worst expression of confusion you’ve ever seen. Even his smile kind of fades a bit. He starts sputtering, loudly.

 

“I never said that of course I Lo.. like.. um.. you’re one of my best friends!” The hallway was getting darker but as he sputtered out these words you thought his blush would light it up all by itself. The poor boy folds his hands cutely behind his back shuffling his feet. “Sorry… I’m gonna go now…” He says awkwardly.

 

“You’re one of my best friends too Connie.” You say sweetly and hand him the packet of treats. “In fact, I was going to give this to you. I just like teasing you.” You kiss his cheek and walk away. 

 

Sasha looks at him a minute, her cheeks still full of food and then trails after you. Connie was still blushing in the hallway when you left. 

 

 

~~~~ Two day time skip~~~~

 

 

Despite her initial reluctance, you got Sasha to go outside of the walls with you. One of the scouts provided you with a bow and a few arrows. Across your two day trip you each got a deer, a good bunch of rabbits and some wild birds. You had a lot of men to feed. 

 

You weren't sure how to get your entire haul back, but managed to talk one of the scouts into helping you to deliver it to the headquarters. They said they would ensure it all arrived properly. There were many memorable moments for the both of you. This is one of them:

 

Sasha had asked why every single kill you would clean and prep exactly the same way. In fact, any extra bones, feathers, unwanted meat, or anything you weren't going to use was placed into a very ornately beautiful stack. It seemed to confuse her. 

 

“I don’t like to kill.” You said quietly. “In fact, I am sad when I have to. These stacks, they are offerings to the dead… a thank you for what they sacrificed. They also allow other hunters who might have needs to take what they want, without killing for it.” 

 

She seemed to understand. Likewise, when she brought down her first deer later that same day, her big brown eyes had a similar combination of joy and sorrow. She had you show her how to lay the bones, make an offering of peace.  She commented how the elders of her village once said things like that, but the old hunters’ way faded a long time ago. 

 

Now though, you were busy sneaking back into the walls. Not having proper approval to use the gates, you directed Sasha towards a small crack. In fact, this was the same way you got out. This was far too small for a titan but for a couple of girls such as yourselves it was fairly manageable. Once on the inside of the crack, you burrowed your way through the darkness inside of the walls. 

 

At either end of the crack was a tall shrubbery, which conveniently hid the hole. You believe these may have been planted intentionally. Your people found it some time ago and had been using it on occasion. 

 

Once you are back inside the walls you find your way back to the headquarters. After a much needed shower and a change of clothes you walk back to meet Sasha near the kitchen.

 

Sasha is thrilled, bouncing about like she’s somehow won the biggest prize in existence. Seeing her happy like this makes you smile. The two of you cook the first meal in forever with meat. Actually, you send her to fetch Connie so that she doesn't eat all of the meat. 

 

Connie does a brilliant job of keeping her distracted while you prepare the rest of the meal. 

 

The smell seems to permeate the whole building. One of the first people you see aimlessly wander into the room sniffing the new flavored air is Mike. Not really a surprise, you figured he would be first to arrive. It isn’t long before others join him.

 

As you cook you begin seeing wanting, hungry eyes filter into the room. Today was a down day, part of why you scheduled this time the way you did. Your smile just builds as the call of this foreign food called even Erwin and Levi from their hidden spaces. 

 

 _Yes this is food ladies and gentleman._ Knowing full well that there is a shortage of all foods you make a decent run with fresh made bread, vegetables and fruit to add to their plates. By the time the food is ready, nearly everyone is already there. 

 

Due to the numbers you are feeding, you end up cutting small squares of meat, which is better anyway considering how rarely they get to eat it. You serve the meal a little at a time to the soldiers who are already lined up while listening to the contented sounds and random compliments. The truth is you just enjoy seeing them happy. 

 

Once you are content that everyone has had a helping, you seat yourself down at the table with Mikasa, Eren and Armin. Before very long you are joined by Jean and Reiner, one on each side of you, and Bertholdt sits next to Reiner. 

 

You eat most of your food and enjoy a quiet talk with your friends before Connie comes up and asks you a question.

 

“Is it true?” He asks loudly. He looks at you then at everyone around you, who is now staring at him.

 

“I can’t really answer that till I know what ‘it’ is Connie…” Your puzzled expression probably gives away far more than anything else.

 

“You cooked this? It’s just amazing… and Sasha said you taught her to hunt outside the walls!” Connie is so excited he starts practically dancing where he is. You don’t answer for a minute or two. 

 

“I cooked it, yes.” You say softly. _Actually I'd rather not mention the walls because every time I mention going outside the walls he..._ A voice behind you though sends a cold chill down your back effectively cutting off your thoughts.

 

“What did I hear about outside the walls?” _Yeah… him…_ Levi’s cold voice comes across mostly indifferent and slightly angry. You know that tone because he used it on you not so long ago when you ‘accidentally’ spilled his tea, on him, with some help from Hange.

 

“They asked if I went hunting outside of the walls.” You say quietly. Levi doesn't respond a moment, instead he just taps his foot impatiently. Cadets around you begin to excuse themselves, quietly as Levi glares at the back of your head.  Realizing you aren't saying anything more he shouts across the room.

 

“Cadet Braus. Over here.” His command rings through the now mostly empty lunch hall. She runs over and stands at attention next to you. “Cadet (Lastname) Why are you not at attention?” He demands.

 

“Yes sir, sorry sir.” You shout standing next to Sasha in a perfect salute. She is shaking next to you and you know she’s downright terrified. 

 

“Tell me where you two were the past two days?” He says his same tone of indifference. You watch Sasha tense up even further. _Okay that’s enough. She doesn't deserve this._  

 

“Hange told us to go on a little hunting expedition as part of an experiment.” Your reply doesn't seem to affect his irritated presence. “She did not specify where.” 

 

Levi gives you one of the coldest looks you have ever seen from him, which is saying a lot. Before long you hear Erwin approach from behind you. 

 

“So you decided ‘let’s go outside the walls’. Like it was a fucking great idea?” He presses. You know he wants a damn good answer. You aren't sure you have one that will satisfy.

“I had permission to hunt… there was no specification where, sir so I chose the most familiar place.” You state flatly. “Sasha was told we had permission for the hunt, I wasn't any more specific than that.” 

 

“So it’s perfectly acceptable to put your comrades in danger, when you want to?” His voice was still cold, but there was a twitch around his eyes and lips that betrayed something more… he was genuinely worried for the safety of you and Sasha.

 

“There wasn't any danger, she was with me.” You say confidently. This irritates both of your superiors and you are aware of that fact, but you are telling the truth.  Erwin makes a gruff noise, somewhere between a chuckle and a choking sound. _Does he find this funny?_ You think to yourself.

 

“Unacceptable.” Levi said flatly. He looked at you again then pointed to Sasha. “Stable duty a week, armory 2 months.” He says “Now get the hell out.”  She yells ‘yes sir’ and takes off quickly.

 

You stand silent, waiting to see what he has to say for you. The fact is, he doesn’t scare you. However, you are insanely curious what he is planning.  Rather than speak he simply tries to stare you down again, which amuses you as it hasn’t worked in the past.

 

“You sound pretty damn confident.” His tone is still cold as ever. “What makes you think anyone is safe with you?”

 

“I’m many things, but even I am not stupid enough to hunt without backup. We had scouts watching us.” You reply. 

 

“We’ll discuss this in my office.” Levi says flatly. 

 

“I’ll send her when I am done with her.” Erwin says staring at Levi a moment. He nods and quietly leaves.

 

Erwin turns to you again. “Walk with me.” You nod quietly following him out of the lunch hall. He turns down a hallway towards his office, before he ever reaches it though he slows to allow you to catch up with him.

 

“I know, our ways are probably confusing to you. Most of the people here are terrified of what is outside these walls, and rightly so.” He starts. You don’t speak, just look at him and listen quietly. “You've been out there your whole life, I’m sure you know how to survive, but… we really are only learning how.”

 

“Without our scouts, we aren't that adept at survival, honestly.” You say softly. “When we were hunting I had four to six of them at any given time. They watch over travelers. They don’t fight as well as defenders, but they are probably the most amazing people I’ve known.”

 

“Speaking of scouts, the woman who was here before?” You know it was a question but you aren't quite sure what he wanted to know, so you just decide to tell him everything you can as you follow him inside to sit at the chair across from his desk again. 

 

“She’s one of the wall scouts. There’s probably 40 of them in all… some don’t even leave the walls anymore. Most of them carry messages back and forth. She was sent originally to tell me of my uncle’s death and my new status as a dual holder and land holder.” The mention of your uncle still puts you on a sour note and you grow quiet for a moment. He simply observes you. 

 

“I suppose it’s why it was so important to me… I wanted to share what he taught me. Pass it on somehow. I… I’m sorry.” Your voice goes soft and you don’t talk anymore. You clench your hands into fists on your lap in a frustrated effort to slow the pain... Yes, you’ve been doing better, but it’s still only been a little over a week. Erwin sets one hand gently on yours.

 

“It really isn't a problem but there still has to be a punishment. Exiting the walls without express permission is dangerous and going through the gates without permission is illegal.” His voice is firm, but still somewhat gentle. He removes his hand from yours and scratches his chin.

 

“It’s fairly obvious you need to learn the laws and rules inside the walls. So you will be with either Levi or myself for the next week, including your free time. There will be a few exceptions, one of which is kitchen duty.” He smiles and continues quietly. “That had to be one of the best meals I've had in years but don’t think that’s going to buy your way out of punishment.”

 

“Yes sir and thank you.” The quiet reply is almost not heard. He stands, offering you a hand up again. Really you find it kind of charming; despite the fact you really don’t need the help.  

 

Once to your feet, you find he still has not let go of your hand, instead he is staring at you. His ice blue eyes are much softer than when you first met him.  You give him a gentle sort of smile and start to walk away. He stops you, still holding onto your hand.

 

“I think you missed the part where you are not to be alone.” He says with a smirk. He stands next to you, setting your hand on his elbow and starts to escort you back to Levi’s office. Somehow, this isn't feeling much like a punishment…

 

He drops his arm, allowing your hand to escape as he reaches to knock on Levi’s door. You find yourself staring at him. From this angle he looks so serious, he reminds you strangely of a hunter, or a bird of prey. It’s all you can do not to smirk. 

 

“Name and business.” That voice can’t get any more monotone if he tried. 

 

“Erwin.” The reply was met quickly with permission to enter.

 

“(Name) has been informed of her punishment. When not attending training or cooking she is to be with one of us. This excludes anything that normally requires privacy… however; one of us is to be near her at all times.”

 

Levi nodded. _Wait, did he just… smile?_ You think to yourself, you’re fairly sure you imagined it. The corner of one side of his lip was, in fact, slightly turned up until he noticed your curious gaze, then it disappeared again.

 

“To be honest, the greatest concern is her safety and that of the Scouts. If word reaches the inner wall that we have brought in someone from the outside…” Erwin’s comment didn’t need to be finished. Levi looked at him.

 

“Is that all?” He stated with a tone that bordered on sarcastic. No, really he knew the rest of the statement but this wasn't actually a question about that. He was starting to suspect a few things about his commander.

 

“You have your orders and so does she.” His reply was actually not an answer, but he didn’t intend for it to be. “I have meetings this week, so you’ll be taking care of her more than you like. I don’t want to hear it. Put her to cleaning or something… Hell maybe you can get your paperwork done for a change.” Erwin walked away, with an oddly angry expression. 

 

This is starting to seem like a little bit of an overreaction to that question. Still, it doesn't matter. You’re here now, standing awkwardly in front of Levi, slightly shocked at your superior’s outburst. 

“If you’re done staring.” Levi said. “Sit your ass down, there’s paperwork to be done.” With that he pushes a small perfectly organized stack of papers at you.

 

“I thought these were your papers?” He looks at you with an extremely irritated expression as you make this remark.

 

“He decided his punishment for you… That doesn't mean there won’t be one from me, idiot.” He states. “You can start by cleaning this damn office.” He motions around him. "Obviously your shitty head thinks you’re too good for fucking paperwork, so make this place clean enough I can see my reflection.” His words cut through the air like a knife.

 

“Yes sir.” You reply. He watches you a moment.

 

“Oh and if you fuck it up, you won’t rest until it is perfect.” He waves his hand dismissing you into your work. 

 

You look around; the office is actually pretty well spotless. _This guy…_ You don’t say a word, just go after cleaning supplies. 

 

After an hour of chasing imaginary dust bunnies, you are ordered back to the paperwork. _Not like I figured I had escaped or something, jackass._ You think to yourself. Yeah it’s probably good Levi can’t read your mind.

 

Levi looks around the room curiously as you sit to aid with the paperwork. The stack of papers before you leaves you confused. How does anyone have this much paperwork?

 

“Not bad.” His expressionless state was actually sort of irritating to you, but you realize this is his way of giving you a compliment. “You’ll clean here every day. I expect you to help with this paperwork tomorrow.” He says motioning to a perfectly placed stack on his desk. 

 

“May I be dismissed?” You ask. He looks at you a moment as if you asked something stupid. His eyes narrow slightly.

 

“I thought your orders were clear. You can either sleep on that couch, or you can go help eyebrows with his paperwork.” His words sunk in slowly and you had to look like an idiot standing there trying to process them. 

 

“Wait I have to what?” Your question was actually directed at yourself, but naturally Levi couldn't let it alone.

 

“Stay here, or go back to eyebrows. I could care less.” He says dismissively. “Wasn't my damn idea to be stuck with your shitty stupidity for a week.” He stretches, rolling his eyes. That’s probably the most expressive he’s been in the past month. 

 

“I’m going to my quarters.” The defiant tone of your voice causes him to slightly raise an eyebrow a moment, an action you know he didn’t intend for you to catch so you ignore it. Instead you just walk out quickly. _If I have to be stuck with the short grump or the commander, I know who it won’t be._ You think to yourself. 

 

Cleaning makes you want to shower, so as soon as you get back to your room it’s the first thing on your mind. Normally you lock your door, but it somehow skipped your mind today. Actually, you've been rather distracted since getting back.  

 

As the warm water washes over you, you let your mind wander. _I don’t really understand their ways… We are free to do anything, as long as it doesn't upset Titus or endanger the village. There are so many rules here though. What you can and cannot say, what you can and cannot do. I’m starting to understand a little better why the scouts sometimes called this place a prison. Still, it’s becoming home… home, not a word I figured I’d hear again._

 

When you finish washing yourself, you step out of the shower and turn off the water, wrapping a towel tightly around your body out of habit. You somehow forgot your sleeping dresses back in the bedroom. No matter… Being in a private room meant that you had your own shower. 

 

You use a second towel to try your wet (h/c) hair.  Then step into your room. Something is wrong… It doesn’t take you long to realize you aren't alone.


	14. Time with the Commander and Echoes of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend a lot more time talking with the commander about your past...  
> One morning you see an unexpected face...

~~~~~ Erwin’s POV ~~~~~

 

I thought my orders were fairly clear. However, it seems that (Name) isn't too keen on listening to them. According to Levi she rather defiantly left his office. He didn’t even bother to deliver this message himself, rather sent a cadet with a note on the matter.

 

 _Commander,  
Cadet (lastname) spoke to me earlier and refused to stay under observation. I have no time to deal with this bullshit so I’m going to defer her to you, as it was your choice of punishments._

 

Levi’s always been a little short with his letters; this one was shorter than normal. _Just like him._ I chuckled to myself. 

 

I should go check on her though. No one knows what kind of trouble she could be getting herself into now. I let my thoughts wander a bit as I start towards her quarters.

 

 _Honestly her cooking skills are quite impressive, especially for finding a way to make that meal work for so many corps members. I have no real issue with her travels nor hunting trips, other than the danger posed to her from those inside the walls. Plus, even the best of us have been caught off guard by titans in the past. I wonder if she was honest, that she has a team of scouts watching her when she is out there. I still do not know enough about her people or culture._

 

As I arrive at her door I notice it is both unlocked and slightly ajar. I can hear the shower running and I wonder if she simply forgot to lock it.  There was one thing I wasn’t prepared for.  A cadet was sitting in her room staring longingly at the shower curtain, leaning across her table with his head in his hands.   _What the hell is this?_

 

Not actually wanting to disturb her; I grabbed the kid by the collar dragging him out into the hallway and gently closed her door. I proceeded to throw him against the wall and hold him there, before I even recognized who it was.

 

“Kirstein... What the hell are you doing in (Lastname)’s room?” I demanded. His face wilted in fright and he shifted his feet anxiously. To be fair I had them a good bit off the ground at the moment. He was pinned up to the wall by the collar still held tightly in my right hand.

 

“Umm… sir… I could ask the same.” Jean said with a startling amount of confidence. _Indeed I was in a rather indecent predicament myself, but I did have a reason._

 

“I am your superior, you should reconsider that remark.” I said flatly. “As for my presence there, apparently it was necessary.” I looked over the boy closely. “You’re the one the other cadets call ‘horseface’ right? Then this will suit you nicely. Take your ass to stable duty, now. You’ll be there for the next several months. If I ever catch you in the room of a female again we may have to find something more permanent to do with you.”

 

“Uh, yes sir, sorry sir… Can I… Get down now?” Jean asks cautiously. The grip that I had on him had unconsciously gotten tighter. I suppose I should let the little shit go. 

 

Once he was gone I found my way back into (Name)’s room, determined to keep any other perverted lurkers out. I didn’t realize until I sat in the very seat Jean was in, that I might become one myself.  

 

The silhouette against the white shower curtain was definitely a thing worth looking at. It was all I could do to avert my eyes. Rather than continue to look like a complete ass, I carefully and quietly pulled the door to the bathroom door mostly shut.  

 

~~~~~~ Normal POV ~~~~~

 

“C-commander? Why are you in my room?” Your shaky voice probably was less the cause of his shocked expression than the fact you were wearing only a towel. 

 

Probably his only saving grace was that his attention was diverted out the window at the moment you stepped out of the room. So it didn’t seem that he had been watching you the entire time. Still it was a little unnerving. It was this exact moment though; you realized you’d left your door unlocked.

 

He was sitting in that chair just staring at you. In fact, it was starting to make you a little uneasy. Finally he spoke up.

 

“Your door was unlocked and I found one of the male cadets in here. So I decided to throw him out and make sure no one else entered.” He said doing his best to force a somewhat matter-of-fact voice. 

 

“Alright, can I get dressed and then we’ll talk.” You suggest. “That is unless you had something else in mind.” _Oh god… I did not just say THAT to my superior._

 

“N-no that’s alright. Go ahead and put something on… I didn’t mean to intrude.” He definitely was uncomfortable and was blushing. You grin slightly and walk over to the closet. 

 

“Try not to peek.” Your confidence was a show but it was one you could deal with. You reached into your closet thankful at least one of your long sleep shirts was hanging up. You pull it out and drop your grip on the towel, immediately exposing your entire back and backside to the commander. As fast as you can do so, you have that shirt sliding onto your body.

 

You turn back to notice an even redder commander, with his nose pinched tightly between his fingers and his eyes diverted as far from you as possible. _I think I broke Erwin_ You think to yourself. You notice a faint trickle of red running past his lips and fetch a handkerchief. 

 

“Are you alright, commander?” You ask gently as you hold a handkerchief out for him. He looks at you a moment then looks away, but not before accepting it and placing it over his face. 

 

“Yes, sorry I think the shift from dry air to humidity got to me.” His reply wasn't too convincing but his flustered state was kind of adorable.

 

“It is a little humid but why are you here in the first place?” You ask trying to turn the topic to anything else.

 

“I was told you hadn't followed orders. You were to have either Levi or myself around you at all times.” 

 

“So did that include the shower?” You ask trying your best not to sound downright flirty.

 

“Of course not, but one of us should be nearby at least, as you are still under punishment. Also, don’t forget to lock the door especially with how perverted some of these men are.” His statement could just as easily been about himself, but you just ignore it.

 

“Does that mean one of you has to sleep with me?” You say with a laugh. 

 

He blinks. He actually stops speaking and just blinks at you for almost a minute. Part of you worries he may have stopped breathing as well, so you reach your hand out, setting it gently on his forehead. Honestly you were hoping the contact would drop him out of the trance.

 

“Sir, you look unwell, maybe I could get you some tea?” You offer. He nods quietly.

 

“Tea and some rest might do me well. I have a lot of paperwork.” He shakes his head, standing up. 

 

You flatten out your night shirt; it comes just a little above your knee and has a series of three narrow bands on each side to hold it at the shoulders. It isn't particularly low cut just a soft scoop neck. Admittedly it shows a bit more of your neck and upper chest than you normally allow. 

 

“You’re sleeping with me tonight.” His tone is almost perfectly his ‘I’m giving you an order’ tone. 

 

“Uh… sir?” You ask, this comment has taken you back, whether it’s the authority he used saying it, or the fact that your mind took it somewhere else.

 

“Not ‘with’ me, you’re sleeping in my bed… wait, that didn’t sound proper.” He shakes his head furiously. “I meant to say… I do not use my room, so you will be sleeping in my bed, while I do paperwork. If I need some rest I’ll take the couch. You’re still under supervision.” 

 

Ah there’s the old commander, finally, where had he gone?

 

“As you command danchō.” He looks at you a moment longer from this comment. He can’t tell if you were being sassy or just making a statement.

 

“I have to say that’s the first time in a while anyone has called me danchō.” He says.

 

“That’s what you are, sir. A commander.” Your words catch him a bit off guard. Yes, that is the proper term but it fell out of use ages ago. While heichou is still often used, danchō is just not common. 

 

You grab your bag and toss in a fresh uniform, your folded straps and your harness equipment into it. With that done pick up your boots and tie them on the side of the pack. When you set the pack down to fetch your uncle’s journal from under the pillow you notice Erwin has picked up your pack of things.

 

You turn back, clutching the book tightly. 

 

“Oh you don’t have to carry that.” You tell him. “I’ll gladly take it.”

 

“No it’s the least I could do for making you uncomfortable earlier.” He says. He holds out his arm again, offering you the familiar point at his elbow for your fingers. You smile brightly and gently run your fingers up his arm to that same space. 

 

Unlike the last few times you have walked this way, your dear commander seems to be blushing and trying not to look at you. This is a strangely adorable side of him you’ve never seen before. 

 

He escorts you through his office and into a conjoined bedroom you never noticed before. The room is clean and dust free, but it looks as though it is never occupied. He tosses your bag at the foot of the bed. 

 

“The bed is clean.” He said. “I’m not sure I've seen this room in weeks, I just have cadets come in to clean it from time to time.

 

“Why don’t you use your room? Shouldn't you be resting?” You are a little confused, doesn't a commander need enough rest to process everything?

 

“I’m generally too busy. I don’t sleep much anyway. Haven’t in ages.” He looks at you a minute more. “Anyway this can be your room for now. I won’t be bothering you unless there’s a problem. I’ll be working on paperwork if you need anything.” 

 

He doesn’t actually wait for a response. He walks out of the room quickly closing the door behind him. Just before it goes closed you think you hear his voice again calling goodnight. 

 

You put your things away then ease into this bed. Once your body hits the mattress you realize you’ll probably never sleep when you get back to your room. This bed is just the right combination of soft and firm. It feels like it’s never been slept on and the pillows are fluffy and fresh smelling. You sigh, stretching yourself out to take over even more of this bed. 

 

Once again you find yourself thinking… _This punishment really isn't so bad is it?_

 

The first couple of days and nights go by fairly quietly, night three though, not so much…

 

You had brought Erwin tea and noticed he was drifting to sleep in his chair. This seemed to be a fairly common occurrence and despite your best efforts you couldn't convince him to at least lie on the couch. Having given up effectively you decided to go get some sleep yourself. Only sleep was destroyed by one of those rare, diabolical nightmares. 

 

“(Name) wake up.” You hear the commander’s voice and you are vaguely aware of your surroundings. You open your eyes blinking at him as he asks. “Are you alright?” You notice he had been shaking you slightly, trying to wake you. Now his hands rest back at his sides again. 

 

“I... just had a bad dream that’s all.” You set your hand on your forehead, confused. You were actually dreaming about when your brother Ionel got attacked by cannibals.

 

“You were screaming about a yo-nel? And then said something about killing people…” He said softly he looked at you again.

 

“I would really rather not think about that.” You say flatly, trying not to look at him. He just quietly nods.

 

“If you’d like to talk about it I’m here.” He said. “Talking does help, but I can’t make you either.”  The look he gave you was purely concern and you sigh softly. _No, talking could help, but it could also hurt… a lot…_

 

“Ionel was my best friend, my adopted brother. You finally say slowly. “He lost an arm and a leg to the cannibals and was still awake when I found him… They eat people… alive…” You just shuddered at the thought but what upset you more was your own reaction.  You set your hand on your stomach trying to settle the sudden onset of nausea.

 

“So I killed them… not one, not two… every single one, from the unborn to the elderly. I cleansed the whole valley of them.” You start to shake. To be honest, the thought of being able to hurt another human terrified you but this wasn't one or even two, it was an hundred, maybe more… 

 

“I never counted bodies, an hundred, more than that? It doesn’t matter. I dreamt they had come back to kill me, that he led them to me… Ionel hated violence, at least between humans… He was never the same…” You try to sit up but are interrupted by a gentle hand on yours. This placed his large hand on both your outstretched hand and on your stomach. 

 

“It doesn’t make you a monster. Sometimes surviving or saving our people makes us do things we hate ourselves for but we aren't monsters till we stop feeling remorse.” He says softly. “You need to try to get some rest."

 

“So do you.” You state. He chuckles softly.

 

“I suppose I do. Mind if I join you?” His offer shocks you, but in your shaken state you just really need the company. You nod and scoot to the side of the bed as he shuffles off his boots and climbs in next to you. His arm wraps ever so lightly around you, blanketing you with a soft comfort that you didn’t expect. 

 

You roll over and bury yourself in his chest, letting your tears fall for a while. While at first this seems to shock him, as you feel his body tense up against yours. Before very long he wraps his arms around you comfortingly and you both drift off into some much needed sleep.

 

~~~~ Onwards till morning ~~~~

 

You wake to the sound of voices from the other room. Glancing out the window you realize it has to be very early still. You shuffle out of bed, not able to stop yourself from straightening the mess of sheets before you get up.

 

You wander near the door, listening quietly to the conversation outside. You probably shouldn't eavesdrop but your curiosity got the better of you.

 

“Our favorite informant has information… but it seems he will only talk to us if we arrive today.” Erwin’s voice said.

 

“Who’s going to watch the brat?” Levi’s voice cut in.

 

“We’re taking her with, what choice do we have?” Erwin said flatly. “She can hold her own in a fight. We need this information, Levi.”

 

“Taking her to the Underground, what could go wrong?” Levi almost sounded sarcastic. That’s a new one on you.

 

“Concerned Levi?” Erwin’s voice was about the same as a nudge. The intonation was definitely prying for information beyond that little statement.

 

“It seemed you were getting attached that’s all.” That voice hit you about the same time you entered the room. Your eyes met Levi’s and caught a hint of something more than his feigned disinterest at the world. His eyes almost smiled, even though his expression never changed.

 

“Oh… I’m sorry I don’t mean to interrupt.” You say with a half smirk. “I just didn’t expect voices so early in the morning.”

 

“It’s almost five, brat you would have had to get up soon for training.” Levi states. “Don’t think you’re out of it just because you've moved in here.” Well that didn’t come off resentful, at all did it? 

 

“Did something happen?” Your voice makes them both look at each other and back at you.

 

“You’re about to get a chance to see our Underground, since we have to keep an eye on you. Now go and  get dressed.” Erwin commands.

 

“I suppose I could watch the brat for a while.” Levi said still sounding unamused. Erwin looked at him a minute or two.

 

“Change of heart Levi?” Erwin asked.

 

“You look like shit. You should rest more.” He directs at Erwin. What you didn’t know is he was watching your form retreat in just that shirt and thinking it wouldn't be the worst fate to deal with. 

 

 _The Underground. I've heard rumors but it is considered forbidden territory except for the most trained of scouts. I wonder if it’s as terrible of a place as they say?_ You are into your uniform quickly with your boots and straps back on.

 

As you step back out both of the men seem to be having a silent, wordless conversation. Come to think of it, that’s been happening a lot more since you've been stuck staying with the commander. 

 

“All ready.” Your cheerful voice breaks up their wordless conversation quickly. Erwin nods and speaks.

 

“Let’s go then.” He looks at you a moment then scratches his chin. “One more thing.” He wanders to the closet and pulls out a heavy, dark green cloak. He drapes it quietly over your shoulders and pulls up the hood, then fastens the front. “There, that’s better.”

 

“Are you trying to hide me?” You ask with a confused expression neither of them can see.

 

“Idiot, the Underground isn't a good place for a woman. Just shut up and stay close.” Levi stated flatly. Erwin gave him a look then spoke himself.

 

“He’s right. We’re not going into the best area. I’m sorry.” Erwin sighs inwardly, hoping you won’t see, but you do notice it rather quickly.

 

“I can handle whatever the walls throw at me. Let’s just get this done.” Your reply seems to encourage them both slightly and you start your trek on horseback towards the inner city, which has access to the part of the Underground that you need. 

 

You find yourself staring at the many huge and fancy houses in this district. _This is Stohess? This is where the doctors thought I was from… how strange…_ The place is clearly wealthy in a financial sense… but it has a darker atmosphere. 

 

The Underground was pretty well the opposite of the city above. Other than that same dark ominous presence that both seemed to carry heavily they are very much different. This place is desolate, overrun with poor hungry souls who are losing all sense of hope. The streets are littered with dirt and filth; some areas even seem to be covered in sewage that had somehow spilled. Over-all you were the furthest thing from impressed.

 

“Why would anyone let their citizens live like this?” It was meant to be a thought, but it escaped your lips with far too much ease.

 

“They don’t care, as long as they have their needs.” Levi’s voice replied sharply. “The more that die the less people to compete for resources.” The matter of fact tone leaves you concerned. Is it normal to think and feel this way in this place? 

 

“There would be plenty, if people were less greedy and less afraid of the outside.” Your voice comes out a little more bitter than you intended. “I’m sorry; it isn’t my place to judge. We just live differently.”

 

“Maybe you’re right though.” Erwin said. “We’ve been trying to save humanity but they are busy destroying themselves.”

 

The three of you continue in silence. You don’t know exactly why you are here, in fact you never asked. All you know is that you overheard you were looking for information. What you least expected though was the man you were about to meet in only a few moments. 

 

The man was standing talking with a smallish man with brown hair. The brown haired man had his back turned to you. The one facing you though… 

 

His brilliant blue eyes shined from behind his glasses. He had a scar you didn’t recognize across the right one. Short marked stubble wrapped his lips in a well-trimmed, short goatee.  

 

The left half of his black hair was trimmed short, the right in long wild strands just covering the bottom of that ear. His left ear still had the silver hoop in it, the one you had put there at his request. 

 

He was dressed in an immaculate white shirt. His white cravat was tucked at the bottom into a brown vest and he wore a slick black unbuttoned tailcoat over the whole ensemble. His black pants were pressed perfectly.  It was clear to anyone this man didn’t exactly belong in the Underground. 

 

In one hand he held a single glass of pinkish red wine. The man who was talking to him clearly was irritating him. Instead of doing something about it, he held a sort of contempt in his gaze and gracefully sipped at his wine. 

 

This man… this man you would have known anywhere. You felt an empty, hollow rage building up inside of you as you watched him. Your hands unconsciously clenched into tight fists, in fact so tight it was a wonder your palms were not bleeding from the pressure. 

 

You thought you heard your companions speak, but there was no desire to listen to their words. Instead, those beautiful (e/c) eyes were focused directly on that man before you, taking in the movements of his face as he half smiled at something the other man said. If not for your cloak the death stare you were giving would have been a sure give-away something was wrong. 

 

“(Name) did you hear what I said?” Erwin’s voice was concerned and he tried to turn you towards him but you pushed him back, not wanting to break contact with your newly acquired target.

 

Levi, however had noticed both your silence and the state your hands were in. He grasped your wrist tightly. 

 

“You aren't about to do something stupid are you?” He says with a threatening tone. You turn to him, then look at the commander.

 

You watched a little longer, reading the lips of the man across the narrow street from you. He had seen neither you nor your companions. Even if he had, under this cloak he would not have recognized you.  

 

You feel Levi draw in your other wrist, trying to drag your attention back. The fire inside of you is burning hotter now than ever though. Never in your life had you imagined such a rage for the man standing there. Your gaze falls a moment onto Levi and his persistant demands you speak with him.

 

“I’m busy.” You state flatly. There wasn't a chance anyone could avoid hearing the venom in your voice. You didn’t even try to conceal it. With both wrists in Levi’s hands though, you couldn't do what you wanted… so you did the only thing you could think of.

 

In a flash of sudden movement, you pulled your arms back and your knee up hitting him squarely in the abdomen with such force it knocked him back from you. Once he was off of you and on the ground Erwin’s quick reaction was to try to stop you himself. 

 

A quick grab of your arm sent you into a frenzy. You swept sideways tossing the very confused large blonde onto an unsuspecting Levi. Once free of them you took off with a flurry of rage across the street. As you hit the other side and approached the man you shouted at the top of your lungs. A strange sort of rage boiling in the syllables that made up the word.

 

“Braaaggginssskyyy!!!” Your long drawn out shout caught his attention, only second before your fist flying into his jaw did. The force of it knocked him backwards, sending his glasses flying off somewhere. You continued yelling. “Braginsky you son of a bitch…” 

 

That was the final straw. He had no idea who this cloaked moron was that attacked him in broad daylight in front of his own men was… But they were going to suffer. He motioned for the others to stay as he placed himself into a fighting stance. 

 

His fist flew at you, but you spun around the side of him. You pushed him over and waited for him to get back up. His second attack was straight at your belly. 

 

As you dodged, switching to the side and turning past him again, you found yourself almost stumbling over his leg. _Clumsy… hmm, he’s gotten better._ You twist back, recovering from the stumble by grabbing his arm with the blade in it. _Wait he had a knife?_

 

You determine now you need to pay more attention as he takes a second lunge at you with that blade. This time you move directly into the blade’s path. Not the world’s best tactic, certainly not something he expected. 

 

The force of your hand derailed the blade enough it didn’t quite catch you, but it pinned his wrist and blade under your arm quickly. You use that chance to force a sharp punch into his upper arm, causing him to drop the weapon. 

 

His free arm attempted to drag you off of him but continuing your same motion threw you both to the ground with you landing over him. Using his body to cushion your fall allowed you to recover more quickly and you jumped up again. 

 

About this time you heard your companions yelling and running your direction. _I don’t have time for this._ You thought silently willing them to go away. 

 

“(Name, last name) I ordered you to stand down, soldier.” Erwin’s voice was a combination of authority and pure rage at this point. Levi was about to jump into the middle of the battle when you heard Braginsky gasp. _Yeah... it’s me you idiot…_

 

His next attack was at your cloak, rather than you. He dragged it around using it to spin you into the nearby wall. The sheer force of hitting the wall winded you slightly. The cold rock against your face almost eased the stinging from the sudden impact. You expected he would do more but rather than attack you again he pulled the cloak off of you, letting gravity tear it from his fingers to the ground.

 

He spun you around, lifted you and slammed you backwards into the wall. Now you were dizzy, your eyes barely coming into focus to see him. He pressed the weight of his body against you, pressing a knee between your legs to help keep your feet from the ground. You brace yourself for another attack as you feel his hand slam your wrists backwards to the wall. 

 

You feel his other hand tangled up in your hair as you struggled to get away again. Suddenly a pair of warm, moist lips smashed against yours. The shock stole your breath and you froze, allowing these lips to explore yours.


	15. Dead Men Don't Kiss, Return of the Invisible Giant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who was that man?  
> What was your past together?  
> What does he have that can help the Scouting Legion?  
> How does the giant disappear so fast?

The longer his lips are on yours the more you find yourself angry for the increasing desire to kiss him back. Right now there are not many people in the world you’d love more to kill, yet… It takes a bit to process what just happened. Thankfully you are rescued rather quickly by an infuriated Levi and Erwin. 

 

Levi grabs Braginsky, spinning him back to pin him against the same wall you had been stuck to moments before. 

 

This causes you to helplessly slide down the wall. You are immediately assisted to your feet by the commander, who carefully wraps his arms around you to keep you from falling or attacking anyone else. That overly fuzzy mind of yours reminds you, it is probably more of the latter. 

 

“What the hell just happened?” Levi demanded, releasing the man with a menacing glare.  Unfortunately you aren't entirely sure you can remember your name right at this second. _Nika kissed me, but why? He… I…_ Your thoughts were pretty much a confused, stuttered mess. 

 

“Braginsky, care to explain?” Erwin stared at him with a look that would have sent chills through anyone. In fact, it rather rivaled a few of Levi’s. 

 

“She’s supposed to be dead… I just…” His voice was soft. “Maybe I thought it was a dream…” He just stared at you. 

 

Your strength came back though along with another of your fits of rage. You started to push the commander away again, only this time he was having none of it. His arms tightened around your waist and he pulled you closer, pinning your back against his chest. As you tried to peel yourself out of his arms you started screaming at Braginsky again. 

 

“Dead… I’m supposed to be dead? Six and a half fucking years! You let me think you’re dead… and I’m supposed to be sad you think I died?” At this point, Levi and the commander just stare at each other a moment and Erwin releases you. This is clearly not something they need to be in the middle of.

 

“Seriously Nikolae, you could have said anything. Did you not care about Ionel? What about Vali? They were devastated! They’re your brothers but you couldn't even tell them ‘oh hey bro I didn’t die.’ You couldn't tell me?!” Your little fit has turned into a crying mess. He tries to reach out to comfort you and you hit him again in the chest.

 

“You’re dead… don’t fucking touch me… and why of all the stupid things you could think of you had to kiss me?” Your exasperated scream was more than you could hold in.  By now there was a crowd gathering and you weren't in the mood to try to stop it.

 

“(Name)” When you ignored him he tried again. “(Nickname)… hey…” Nikolae’s voice was soft, warm and it reminded you of so many nights when you just needed someone to talk to. He was your best friend… after Jericho left maybe he was a little more than that but he abandoned you, abandoned the boys.

 

“You left us… and then when Ionel was hurt, no one was there to pick up the pieces. I tried but it just was never enough… Trying to stop him from hurting himself, from feeling like a burden… Then Vali, who was blaming himself for letting me be the one to find him, for not protecting mom and dad… then when they died protecting me… You couldn't even… Not even for their funeral? Your own damn brothers…” By now you have collapsed onto the ground, your tears staining the dirty sidewalk beneath you. Why bring up your adoptive parents, who died the same day? It’s all just too much right now.

 

“Fine... I’m an ass and you can kill me later.” He said picking you up into a hug. You hit him a couple more times but don’t have the energy to fight him now. He holds you close a few minutes. 

 

“I lost my mind when I thought you died. I can only imagine how you feel…” He shakes his head. “Let’s get inside; there are too many eyes here now.”  He motions to the others to follow. 

 

He picks you up into a bridal carry and takes your crying shivering form into the nearby building. He tenderly lays you on an ornate sofa in the living room. Quickly dragging off his jacket and plants a soft kiss on your forehead as he lays it on you.

 

“I’m sorry, printesa mea.” He whispers and then he walks away from you towards the other two men. 

 

 

~~~~~~ Nikolae’s POV ~~~~~~

 

_Yeah I officially screwed that up. Not only by assuming she still loved me, hell maybe she does, maybe she never did… But I've clearly cut her deeper than any man in her life ever has. I’ll be lucky if she even lets me around her, let alone forgives me for all of this shit.  I need to be focused on something else now though. I can get back to her later._

 

“Shit, she’s still a handful.” I mutter under my breath. I look at the two men I was supposed to have a meeting with and sigh. “So I guess my tough guy jackass thing got ruined by a pretty girl, huh?” I ask with a half a grin.

 

“They do that.” The shorter man states flatly.  Ah yes, Levi I remember him from previous encounters, somehow today he seems far less amused. That’s rather impressive considering his stoic nature. 

 

The one who looks the least amused is the commander though. He looks like he could try to suck a lemon through a sieve and be less irritated.

 

“Before we get to business… can you explain ‘that’ any better?” He says motioning over to the half-asleep whimpering mess on my couch. I roll my eyes, not at her but at the insistence of this other man that I explain myself. Does he even realize who I am? I still run most of the Underground, despite a now rather obvious weakness. 

 

“I doubt it’ll help much. We’re from the same village.” I replied. 

 

“That was evident, however… This is clearly more than fellow villagers. She’s one of my soldiers. I need to be aware of what’s going on.” Erwin’s prodding at this point made me realize a few things…

 

He seemed more interested than he should be in the matter, she had on a Scouting Legion uniform, and she wasn't wearing Jericho’s ring anymore.   _Then again who the hell waits seven years for a man who promised to be there in a month… for that matter, six and a half years, for a man who promised to never stop loving you…_ I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. 

 

“She was adopted into our family… We were all very close. Of all of us, she and I were the closest.” I said trying to cover just how close. Honestly after Jericho left she and I were far closer than she would ever admit. In fact, if I hadn't stopped us both she would have been the first girl I… Anyway it doesn’t matter now. She probably found someone and experienced all that with them.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~ Normal POV ~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

“Clearly.” Erwin was irritated at this point but quickly gathering more than he wanted about their previous relationship. “Let’s just get that information, shall we?”

 

“I don’t suppose I could trade it for...” Nikolae looked over at you. You were starting to come out of your fit a bit but you were shaky and tired and didn’t want to move. His question was answered with a slap to the back of the head from Levi.

 

“You are a stupid fuck. Just give us the information, collect your damn pay and we’re out.”  Levi growled.

 

“You’re a pervert; I just wanted to hear her sing…” Nikolae looked over at you. 

 

“No.” You said coldly. “I hate you right now.” _Way to go (name), that didn’t sound like a two year old… not at all…_ While shaking your head in an effort to clear your mind, you realize that dizzy and head shaking don’t go together. You start to feel slightly nauseous. 

 

“Would you two just STOP already?” Erwin’s voice bellowed through the room. You winced at his tone. He seemed beyond angry, a side of him you’d never seen before. You sat up quickly, maybe two fast as your head started spinning again.

 

You set your hand on your head, trying to steady yourself and sigh. Really this whole thing is just childish. Then again the one guy you kind of started to fall for other than your fiancé, just turned up… alive… after leaving you thinking he was dead… Yeah, this is a bad morning. Still you've determined you’ll pretty much never forgive him for abandoning you. 

 

“Nikolae… Just tell them what they need to know.” Your voice isn't as cold as it was. “Then, I need to talk to you about a trade arrangement alright?” 

 

“So you don’t hate me.” He says with a grin. 

 

“You’re useful and you’re family. I’m stuck with you.” You say. The truth is… you don’t hate him, but you wish you could. 

 

He falls back into a frown and starts explaining whatever sort of information they needed. You don’t catch it all apparently it’s something about shifters, a doctor, the Wallist cult and a female titan.  After some time you notice an increase in the quiet. 

 

You stand up slowly and walk over to stand between Erwin and Levi. Nikolae looks at you again. His intense blue eyes are probably the saddest you have ever seen them. 

 

You feel the comforting presence of a hand at the small of your back. From the angle of the hand you figure out it is actually Levi, which surprises you even more. 

 

“Nika…” You say quietly. Yes, that old name, the one he probably figured you would never use again. “I need to talk with you a while.” 

 

“Go ahead and talk. I have a thing or two to discuss with the corporal.” Erwin said trying to hide his irritation. He motioned Levi to the edge of the room where they could observe, without being in the middle of the conversation.

 

“Printesa?” His voice is gentle. He doesn’t actually speak much Romanian, but he has always referred to you as princess or his princess. “What can I do for you?

 

“A few things, but first… I need access to some supplies. I’m apparently not allowed to go outside to go hunting, so I need food delivered to the headquarters.” He listens nodding quietly at your words. “They are my family and I can’t stand them eating whatever that was they were trying to pass off as food.”

 

“You always were a little picky about food, princess.” He says with a laugh.

 

“I can’t help that you were a miserable cook and Ionel and Vali had no clue how to even fire a stove!” You say with a laugh. He smiles taking your hand in his gently.

 

“I’m curious though, when did it come off?” He asks tracing his thumb along your ring finger. 

 

“The ring?” You close your eyes a minute. “It was the same day I woke up all alone…” The sadness in your voice is heavier than you wanted. “I decided to take it off, after you spent the night. It didn’t seem right… Like you said: he kept promising, letters, notes… but never showed… it was just time to let go.” 

 

“The day I left the village…” He sighs deeply. “I left, thinking I should respect your love for him. I didn’t know…” 

 

“It doesn’t matter. It felt good, taking it off. I got busy after you were gone. I made myself mostly happy.” A soft smile crosses your face. “Then I found them.” You motion to the men across the room. “Funny to think the Survey Corps would mean so much to me.”

 

“I always said you would make a good scout.” He chuckles lightly, still caressing your hand with his fingers. 

 

“You also said being a defender was too dangerous… I think you just wanted me to hang around more.” You grin. “Anyway… I do need to go; I can’t keep my superiors waiting.” 

 

“Wait… will you give me a chance, or at least forgive me?” His blue eyes are pleading as he stares into yours. “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too… but some things will never be the same.” You say watching his expression. “Still you know how I am. Only family is allowed in my heart… You’re still family Nika, even if you make me want to murder you. Do me a favor this time, stay in touch… because if you disappear again I swear I will rip you into small enough pieces even a titan won’t recognize them as human.” 

 

“You just went from adorable to scary, in under a second… marry me?” You hope he’s joking, but he used to talk like this a lot when you were younger. You just brush it off.

 

“Nope…” You say with a smile. He catches your chin gently with his hand and stares into your eyes a moment.

 

“No. I don’t have a chance… You found someone didn’t you? At least someone you’re thinking of, even if you aren't with him.” His quiet statement actually catches you by surprise; you hadn't even thought about it that much.

 

“I don’t think so… not yet…” You look at him. “What makes you say that?”

 

“I know that look… maybe you don’t realize it yet. Is it one of them?” He asks pointing across the room as he releases his grip on both your face and hand. 

 

“It has to be someone from the Scouting Legion. They are my family.” You don’t really confirm or deny his accusation that you have feelings for those two. In fact, you aren't sure yourself. “I don’t know yet, but you've never been wrong.”

 

“I could do with being wrong just once.” He sighs deeply. “Anyway I will stay in touch I promise… and I meant what I said before, anything… anything at all you need I will provide it. Whether you like it or not I love you printesa mea… I always will. I’ll always give whatever you need.” He stands and bows politely, offering you a hand to help you to your feet.

 

“If you get tired of them you know how to find me.” He kisses your hand lightly and smiles at you with his usual devilish glint.

 

“Still not going to happen.” You say with a grin. “I love them… you’ll have to get used to me having a family again!” With a quick turn you approach your two superiors and smile.

 

“I secured us food and supplies.” They both look slightly irritated but seemed calmed some by your return. “I also informed a certain man that the thing I love most is the people of the Scouting Legion.” You smile brightly at both of them. “I’m ready to go home.” 

 

“She used to call our house that.” Nikolae muttered under his breath but you didn’t hear. However, one of your superiors did. 

 

Levi places his hand back on your lower back as he and Erwin escort you out of the room, eliciting a soft cursing from Nikolae. Despite his normal stoic nature, he turned and gave the other man a half smirk before walking out the door.  This all went unnoticed by you, but not by Erwin who was more than eager to leave this madhouse behind.

 

Suddenly Nikolae ran up to Erwin pulling him aside and whispered something. Erwin looked at you and then nodded and replied quietly. You would have watched them further but Levi spoke up.

 

“Let’s go brat. I don’t want to be in this shitty mess any longer than I have to.” His hand on the small of your back pushed you gently forward and you chose to just walk with him back towards the surface. Erwin catches up not much after you both leave, offering you a quick smile.

 

The ride back is quiet though, both men seem lost in thought and honestly you are too. You aren't quite sure what to think of today but at least you know Nikolae is alright and going to help you take care of your new family. 

 

When you get back to the headquarters you’re met with another surprise. Levi helps you down from your horse. He grabbed your hips gently and slowly lowered you to the ground. You looked at him a little confused and he just shrugged and walked off. 

 

Normally Erwin would make sure to get there first and he looked slightly irritated by Levi’s sudden boldness. Fine, at least he was gone now. He escorted you gently into the headquarters himself. 

 

“If you could manage the kitchen today, I don’t think you need supervised for that.” He says gently. “Then you need to be back with one of us, understood?” You nod as he leads you to the kitchen. 

 

You enjoy cooking, maybe more than you should. You used to volunteer, in fact at one point you used to volunteer to cook the community meals at your village. This reminded you a great deal of that. Somehow knowing Nikolae was alive made you feel better, despite the fact you didn’t know if you could ever forgive him. 

 

While you were thinking to yourself you were absentmindedly gathering ingredients to start bread loaves for tomorrow. You had just picked up the flour while you were thinking of Nikolae and what he said about you having fallen for someone here. _Psh, what does he know anyway?_

 

As you turn quickly on your heel to leave the pantry you nearly run over your favorite phantom giant but manage to stop short this time. Still the sudden closeness brought a strange squeak from your voice. You hadn't realized you weren't alone. 

 

“Uh I didn’t mean to scare you.” He was blushing his hand on the back of his neck as he awkwardly stretched.

 

“How do we keep running into each other?” You ask mostly to yourself. He’s so awkward and adorable at the moment.

 

“Oh… um… I was kinda following you.” He says. “Um, I mean I’m not being weird…  just really like talking to you!” His words come out quickly and it kind of makes you giggle. 

 

“Maybe you can help me? I can’t reach the sugar on that shelf up there.”

 

“There’s sugar in bread?” He asks looking a little confused.

 

“Yes… not much but it really does help.” 

 

“That’s why your food tastes better right?” He sounds a little more confident now. He usually does when he finally relaxes around you. He grins reaching past you for the sugar and pulls it down off a high shelf. “Anything else, miss?” His lips are actually in what looks a little like a smirk. You find yourself giggling softly.

 

“I may come up with something later. Why not help me for a bit?” He smiles at your offer and follows you back out into the kitchen, but not before taking the flour and sugar from you.

 

“I can carry those, you know?” Your words are met with a true smile.

 

“I um, didn’t want you to have to.” His smile is just beautiful. It makes his green eyes seem to light softly and you can’t help but find yourself smiling right back. He’s a lot less shy today, actually. 

 

“Thank you, it’s very sweet of you.” With that you turn away, looking for the big mixing bowl and a few other ingredients.  

 

Once the dough is mostly mixed you decide that mixing all of those bowls is going to be a chore. The Scouting Legion may be the smallest group, but there are still over three hundred people to feed as well as varied staff. A recent recruitment effort has increased the number but with the odds of survival, it is still pretty difficult to pull people in. 

 

“Bertholdt, can you mix those for me, while I chop some vegetables?” The sound of his name draws his attention and he smiles at you, nodding and taking over mixing the bread dough. 

 

You've gotten the stew off to a good start for tonight’s supper and then return to check on Bertholdt. Since he’s stronger than you, he has managed to get all the bread dough properly beaten and folded. You smile as you walk back up beside him.

 

“I think you’re better at this than I am.” You say with a big grin. He shyly smiles at you. 

 

“Nah, I just wanted to help.” You notice his red cheeks as he says this. He’s leaning over the counter slightly, so he is now closer to your height.  A small bead of sweat traces down the side of his face. He was always sweaty but somehow managed to smell nice.

 

“I do alright with it. Help me get these covered?” Your confidence isn’t too bad but you know these meals are nothing like what you used to be able to cook. There’s a wide variety of foods and spices not available here that can be traded for in your village. A short silence passes as you take clean white cloths and cover the dough so it has a chance to rise.

 

“Hey Bertl?” Your voice is quieter now. “Is my cooking really that good? I mean… I haven’t got half of what we use in our village… I worry all the time it won’t be good enough.”

 

“Your cooking is amazing. It reminds me a lot of home.” His eyes are soft now, as if touched by some distant memory somewhere. The look on his face is very peaceful, if not a little sad. It makes you smile softly but you also are a little homesick.

 

“Do you miss your home?” You ask looking at him. He smiles sadly and nods.

 

“Sometimes, but… I like a lot of things about here too.” He says smiling at you. “I… uh… have people I like being with.” His blush gets a bit deeper and you just quietly smile at him. 

 

A moment later an idea hits him. He reaches a large finger into the edge of one of the bowls on the table, scraping a tiny bit of flour off the side.

 

Out of nowhere he rubs the flour down your cheek and grins. You look at him. Connie you expect this from, but Bertholdt? 

You see his smile though and calmly reach over and slide your hand into the flour sack, which hasn't been put away yet. You rub your hands together and jump at him, putting flour on both of his cheeks. 

 

He gives you a strange, shocked expression and then grabs you, spinning you up in the air and you start giggling ridiculously. 

 

“Can’t get me up there can you?” He says. 

 

“Wow, you have a great view from up here!” You say with a grin.

 

“I have a great view from down here.” He says. “Um… s-shit... I sound like... I-I’m so sorry.” He sets you down and sits on a nearby chair. You quietly glance over at him. The biggest blush you've ever seen on him is quickly covered with his two large hands.

 

“Bertholdt?” You gently set your hands on his wrists, pulling his hands away from his face. “That was actually kind of cute coming from you. Reiner, not so much he’s the biggest flirt but you… it was cute.” 

 

Well that put him into a blushing frenzy. He tried to hide again but you wouldn't let him. He grabs you, suddenly and pulls your lips tightly against his warm damp ones. His blush has taken over his whole face and you’re starting to take on quite the red note yourself. 

 

He looks at you, then looks at his hands, then takes off out of the kitchen and runs across the mess hall quickly. His hasty retreat out the door leaves you a little bewildered. Finally you shrug a moment, but find your fingers tracing back to your lips. 

 

“Okay… that was… adorable!” You say to yourself, picking up the flour and sugar to return them where they go. _I never figured Bertl would kiss me though!_  Your thoughts  bring a strong smile to your face. You've lost your kitchen help but you can’t feel bad about it either.


	16. An Old Song and Dance, Jealousy and Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide to entertain your friends.   
> Find out a secret about Levi  
> Figure out someone is Jealous  
> And get experimented on!

After dinner is all served you take the opening you have to go sit with Eren and Armin again. On your way by you notice that Bertholdt isn't sitting with Reiner. You look at him as if to ask why and he gives you a smug shrug. You’ll have to ask him later.

 

“(Name).” Eren smiles at you as you sit. Armin looks at you with a little bit of a shy blush and then composes himself a little.

 

“H-hi (Name).” He says quietly. You smile.

 

“I missed you guys. I've been so busy lately.” Your words cause the both of them to smile and a strange sort of grunt from Mikasa. You two tolerate each other and are usually friendly but it seems like today isn't going to be one of her friendlier days. 

 

“At least we all get meals together, normally.” Eren said “Where were you though? You were gone today and I-uh we wanted to hang out a while.” 

 

“I ended up on a trip to Stohess, kind of unexpectedly.” You say with a smirk. “Oh, and I found out something awesome!” You are excited now, who better to share it with than your best friends?

 

“Oh what happened?” Eren asked. In a few minutes he might have wish he hadn't.

 

“So I told you about my Nikolae… He’s alive and I got to see him today!” You were trying to keep your voice down but you were getting a little more excited than you meant to. You loved Nikolae, maybe not like you used to, but he’d always been your best friend. 

 

“I’m glad. But he should feel like shit letting you think he’s dead.” Eren says. You look at him a moment, something seems to be wrong and you can’t quite figure it out. 

 

“I’m happy you found him. I wish people wouldn't worry each other like that though.” Armin said, trying to keep himself collected. 

 

You realized suddenly you didn’t do what you normally do, my brother… my adopted brother… No you said ‘my Nikolae’ no wonder they were both upset.

 

“Sorry Nika and I were best friends. He was the one who convinced the family to adopt me.” Somehow your words have just been spilling out lately and it almost frustrates you, but you love being honest too. “I thought… well we got a report that he had fallen from almost 30 meters when his equipment failed and that he wasn't breathing so the scouts left him.” You sigh softly.

 

“I’m just glad he’s okay.  He wasn't so happy when I told him that I have a new family now. We’ll always be family, but this...” You motion to the room full of Survey Corps members. “Survey corps and especially you guys are my family.” 

 

The boys seemed to relax some. The truth is, they just wanted to know you weren’t leaving anytime soon.  They both smile at you now. 

 

“So tell us another story?” Armin asks. You know he loves when you talk about the outside world, but suddenly a different idea entirely hits you.

 

“My mother used to sing a song when I was small. A song that she would sing for my father before he left the walls to be with her… Would you like to hear it?” You say with a smile. Of course, the second you do say that several ears about the room pick up. The fact is, every time you've told stories they would gather around.  

 

The voice you didn’t expect to speak was Levi, who had wandered over from his usual spot when he noticed the others crowding you. 

 

“Actually, brat, since that idiot was willing to trade a small fortune to hear you sing...” He says sitting next to the boys. This sort of makes everyone tense a moment.  “Don’t disappoint us.” 

 

You take a deep breath, letting your nervousness melt away as you step out of the crowd.

 

“If I can get you all over there… It’s easier for me.” Your voice is confident now. You used to sing for the people back home whenever something happened. Today though, you just wanted to sing your mother’s song. ( [ Cover, Julie Fowlis Into the Open Air](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlueZlMcvEI) ) 

_This love, it is a distant star  
Guiding us home wherever we are  
This love, it is a burning sun  
Shining light on the things that we've done_

_I try to speak to you everyday  
But each word we spoke, the wind blew away_

_Could these walls come crumbling down?  
I want to feel my feet on the ground  
And leave behind this prison we share  
Step into the open air_

_How did we let it come to this?  
What we just tasted we somehow still miss_

_How will it feel when this day is done  
And can we keep what we've only begun?_

_And now these walls come crumbling down  
And I can feel my feet on the ground  
Can we carry this love that we share  
Into the open air?  
Into the open air?  
Into the open air?_

_This love, it is a burning sun_

 

After you finish singing you realize that you've been dancing unconsciously… In fact you often do when you sing or tell tales. It’s like you paint a tapestry with your form. Never intentional but some say it is hypnotic. You stand still now, breathing in and letting the silence wash past you. _What a lovely feeling, silence…_

 

Before long the silence is covered with applause and you smile softly. You dismiss yourself quickly, wandering back out into the hallway to escape the madhouse that the mess hall had suddenly become. You never considered yourself greatly talented, you just enjoyed singing. 

 

You started to walk away when you felt a hand catch your arm. You turned to be met with a set of piercing silver-gray eyes. They shimmer like steel in the dim light of the hallway.

 

“Oh, corporal… I was just taking a short walk.” 

 

“Tch, weren't you ordered to stay with Erwin or me?” He said still staring at you. You closed your eyes tightly. 

 

“Of course, sir. I’m sorry.” 

 

“Levi.” His tone didn’t change but the grip on your arm lightened. “At least when none of those little shits can hear it.” His words made you smile. You knew he would run them into the ground with his names but he did genuinely care about them. It was his way of distancing himself. 

 

“Of course, Levi.” Really you prefer names anyway, they feel more familiar.  He releases your wrist and places his hand back onto the small of your back, moving you forward, you assume towards his office. You walk silently together. 

 

After a short time he turns a different direction, using his hand to guide you. By now you were used to walking to his office, due to delivering papers, this change of direction catches you off guard. It’s sending you down an unfamiliar hallway. 

 

“Where are we going?” You ask, while you don’t stop walking you do hesitate a moment, which is met by another ‘tch’ sound. He doesn’t say anything, just motions you forward. Lightly shaking your head you keep walking towards the end of the hallway, where you stand before a set of double doors. 

 

“We’re going in there.” He said finally. He opened up the doors to reveal what once might have been a ball room. A small raised stand in one corner reveals an old harpsichord. There are stands to place more instruments. 

 

You expected the room to be dusty, as it clearly hasn't been used in a while. In fact, even on cleaning duty you have never found yourself there. Instead this room is practically spotless.  He walks past you and sits down at the old harpsichord. He starts to play a melody, the same one you just sang in fact. He misses a note here or there and looks irritated. 

 

“Sing it again.” He says. As soon as you finish singing the song, he plays out the notes again on the harpsichord and then he starts adding harmony to it. Before long he demands you sing again. 

 

You sing the song with his playing accompanying your voice. The sound of it echoes through the entire chamber, filling it with soft, sweet music. The song isn't very long but it sounds beautiful. You smile delightedly while absentmindedly running your fingers along the harpsichord. 

 

“You play beautifully, when did you learn to…” You start to ask but he cuts you off.

 

“It doesn’t matter.” His reply is quick and you watch him a moment. He’s very quiet now but almost has a slight smile ticking at the corners of his lips. You step away from him and the harpsichord, looking around the room a moment. 

 

Some ages ago this place must have been beautiful. Despite the disrepair, the stone walls are inlaid with chips of marble that tell a tale of ages ago, when this was likely home to a king or noble.  You walk towards the center of the room, off into your own little daydreams of how it used to be. 

 

Listening to music in your own head, you hear the tune of an old Romanian waltz that sometimes played in your village. You find yourself dancing lightly, still engrossed in the daydream that you’d let take over you. In fact, you’d forgotten you aren't alone, due to the silence of the one watching you. 

 

As you took a turn to the right in your silent waltz with yourself, you suddenly felt someone’s body taking the place across from yours. You open your eyes to realize Levi was standing there. This also meant he had been watching you dance with yourself. You blush when you feel his arm wrapping around your back and his hand take yours. Your left hand rests lightly on his shoulder. 

 

“L-Levi?” You ask a little shocked. “I’m so sorry. I was daydreaming and I…”

 

“Tch, just keep dancing brat.” His voice seems more gentle than normal, although you aren’t sure. You nod, dancing with him in a relatively slow waltz. Your eyes meet his and you notice that they are by far softer than they were, in fact they seem almost content. His hand slides from where it rested at your shoulder to fall to the center of your lower back. He pulls you in a little closer and keeps dancing. 

 

“Levi… where did you learn to…” He seems content to cut you off; you barely get that much of the sentence out.

 

“The same place I learned the harpsichord.” He says, clearly he’s not interested in discussing that further. Instead he takes your hand and sets it on his chest gently. He doesn’t say a word. Instead, he just rides his other hand gently down your side to your hip and keeps dancing with you gradually moving slower. 

 

You find the dance has stopped, leaving you staring at each other instead. After standing like this a while, you start to feel a little uncomfortable and find yourself blushing. You look away again, glancing at the floor. 

 

Two fingers place themselves so gently beneath your chin, prompting you to look up again. He leans in closer to you and you find your eyes drifting shut.

 

“Ahem… What the hell is going on in here?” Erwin’s voice cuts through the room, effectively interrupting anything that might have happened. Your eyes shoot open and you look at him. You try to break away from Levi who just continues to hold you.

 

“Simple, you’re interrupting.” Levi said flatly. He released his grip on you though noticing your discomfort. The entire atmosphere has changed now, with the two men challenging each other silently again. After a minute Erwin holds out a hand to you and you walk back in his direction. Levi says nothing, simply stands silent in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. 

 

“I’m afraid it’s obvious where you will not be staying for the remainder of the week.” He says. “Levi, I need a word with you.”

 

“You missed hearing her sing.” He said flatly. Erwin looked at you and then at him again. 

 

“I will have to fix that later. You and I need a little chat.” He said. “(Name) go straight to your quarters. I’ll come get you in a while.” 

 

You nod, hastily leaving the room. Honestly you don’t even want to know what they “have to talk” about, you just want some quiet. Rushing down the hallway you slide around the corner towards your room, only to find a sad looking Connie walking away from your door.

 

“Connie?” Your voice makes his head turn your direction. A sudden smile crosses his face. He runs over and hugs you. You give him a gentle hug back, a little confused by the sudden pouncing.

 

“(Name!) I've been looking for you for days. Um… I mean… You haven’t been around much and all.” He suddenly releases you from the hug. “Sorry, the boys say I grab people too much.” He chuckles lightly. “Anyway you haven’t been to your room much and I was worried. Normally Sasha and I meet you here… It’s kinda weird.” 

 

“It’s okay Connie. I've been under surveillance. It isn't a big deal it’s just that they watch me a lot right now.” Your response probably isn't what he’s after, but you don’t really want to say you’re sleeping in the commander’s bed either. It sounds… well kind of wrong…

 

“I missed you though.” He says. “Plus we never finished pranking everyone.” His smile gets wider and you can’t help but smile too.

 

“You also never proved you can cook!” You say nudging him. 

 

“Oh… I forgot.” He says blushing. “Maybe we can try that bet again?”

 

“I have a better one… I bet you can’t get the chocolates from Erwin’s desk.”

 

“Wait, Erwin has chocolate? Does Sasha know?” He looks at you with wide, excited eyes. 

 

“Would he have chocolate if Sasha knew?” Your laughter is joined by Connie. 

 

Connie looks at you a minute then gets a silly grin. “Come outside with me, we could set up an awesome prank!”

 

“I’m stuck here waiting for the commander…” Your reply brings him a frown. Then he jumps up as if remembering something. 

 

“Oh I forgot.” He fumbles around a bag at his side and drags out a parchment with a pressed flowers attached to it. He hands it to you smiling. 

 

As you examine it, you notice that he has pressed several morning glories, some small white flowers and a big yellow carnation. While not the most perfect arrangement it looks very pretty. He’s glued them down to the page and coated it with a sealant.  His feet are shuffling nervously as he watches you, a big smile plastered across his face.

 

“Mom and I used to press flowers and I thought you know, flowers are pretty so you’d like them, because you’re pretty.” He says quickly. He smirks at you, kisses your cheek and takes off down the hallway.

 

“Wait… Connie!?” Your calls fall on the dead stones but no one responds. You unlock the door to your room with a big smile and then set the paper he handed you in a safe place on your desk, weighting the corner lightly with a small brass cube. 

 

You gather up a clean uniform and some clean clothes to sleep in. Once you are done you sit at your table and reach for your uncle’s journal and silently cursed yourself for leaving it in Erwin’s room.  Everything about today had you thinking about the past, which really isn’t something you normally allow.  

 

You’d learned a few things from the journal, mostly about your parents. Your mother is an example of your uncle’s musings though, he called her the gypsy. She was one of the adventurer scouts, eventually disappearing for months on end into the walled city. Your father, on the other hand was born in Stohess and worked as a physician in Mitras when she had met him.  Your uncle makes several obscure comments about how interesting it is they are from either side of the walls.

 

You lean over onto the table, finding yourself drifting off thinking of all the people you’ve met in the time you've been here. You’re nearly asleep, in fact when you hear a solid knock at the door. 

 

“Enter.” You respond sleepily. It takes a short time after the door opens for you to drag you head up to see who is there. Erwin’s presence isn't out of place, but in a way you’d rather just sleep.

 

“Tired?” He asks gently. “Let’s get these boots off.” You look at him with a confused glance but don’t say anything. 

 

He pulls your boots off and helps you loosen the straps of your harness. His hands glide lightly across your body from one buckle to the next and you find yourself smiling lightly at his touch. Once they are loose, he helps you stand and removes them quietly. You smile weakly at him now, still very exhausted from the day.

 

“Is there anything you left in the room that you need?” He asks, you look at him puzzled.

 

“The journal?” It’s really all you can think of. “I’m sorry. I’m so tired.” 

 

He doesn’t say another word, just picks you up and gently lays you on the bed. You look at him with a puzzled expression as he brushes the hair from your face lightly.

 

“I’ll have your things back to you in the morning. Just get some sleep now.” He kisses your forehead softly.

 

“My orders?” You ask softly, your eyes starting to close without your permission. You hear him chuckling lightly.

 

“Your orders right now are to get some sleep. I’ll check on you tomorrow.” He says. You are asleep before you even hear him leave the room. 

 

~~~~~ Timeskip to just before dawn~~~

 

In the morning you were woken up by Erwin, who assigned you into Hange’s care for the day. You don’t mind the eccentric scientist. Even though it’s technically a few days early, you aren’t too upset by being let out of your punishment. 

 

“(Name)… Erwin told me I get you all day today, isn’t that great? I have so many questions and we’re going to be doing some experiments with Eren and we’re going to have soo much fun. Oooh! That reminds me, have you kissed him yet?” In the very short time it took her to spout all of this, she threw her arms around your shoulders and was leaning on you hugging you closely. 

 

“K-kissed? Wait, what? No…” You stutter out. “What on earth Hange, I thought you were shipping me with someone else? Wait why did I bring that up?” You’re flustered, or maybe you’re trying not to think of Eren, who reminds you of Nikolae… You are really not interested in thinking about Nikolae right now. 

 

“You kissed someone then, or they kissed you!! I can tell! Come on, cutie you can tell your lovely Hange!” She pulls you over to the chair by her desk and makes you sit down. You stare at her a minute.

 

“I’m not getting out of this… am I?” Really you know the answer; you just wanted to say it as a protest.

 

Hange’s big eyes staring behind her glasses look so expectant and you try so hard not to say anything. Finally after a while of just staring you close your eyes.

 

“Which one?” You say with a nervous laugh. She grabs your cheeks and squeezes them tightly enough to hurt. “Oww. Hange!”

 

“Sorry, sorry, you’re just sooo cute!!!” She lets go of your face. “Oh my Walls you have to tell me everything, about everyone and I need to know who you think is the cutest, and…”

 

“Um… Sorry am I Interrupting, Levi sent me in here.” Eren’s voice came from the doorway and you blush afraid to look at him. You really didn’t want him overhearing all of this!

 

“Oh come in. We’re trying to figure out who (Name) has the biggest crush on!” Hange says. 

 

“No, we’re trying to help (Name) escape this!” You say suddenly standing up and trying to dash out. Eren smirks and grabs your arm as you pass him by. 

 

“Now, this could be interesting…” He says with a big smile. You look up with your (e/c) eyes meeting his stunning turquoise gems. “I’d love to hear who you like… but maybe later huh?” He winks at you and you actually feel your heart flutter a bit. 

 

“You all are going to be the death of me.” Your voice is quiet now as you look away with a soft blush on your face. “Can we move on to something else?” You mutter. He laughs and turns you back towards the lab.

 

“We’re stuck with Hange today, might as well make the most of it.” His grin is almost obnoxious. He seems so excited and you aren’t sure why. In the short time you’ve been here you know Hange has somewhat tortured him. Normally he doesn’t seem quite this happy to be with her.

 

“At least I’m stuck with you.” You say with a grin. “Being with Hange by yourself can be a lot!” Your grin fades a little when you hear Hange’s voice.

 

“Ah you all love it. Anyway, here’s our first experiment for the day. I need you (name) to come over here.” She grabs you by the arm and drags you almost to the corner. “We’re going to test Eren’s reflexes!” She gets a devious sort of grin and you stare at her.

 

“Um, Hange, what do you have planned, exactly?” You put on the most authoritative voice you can come up with, hoping she’ll actually answer that question instead of brushing it off. Nope, not Hange. Her silent grin just makes the strange bad feeling you were starting to get grow. _Dear gods… what does she have planned now?_

 

“Nothing too dangerous, if Eren’s reflexes are okay.” She says. 

 

“This… is not reassuring…” At almost the exact moment you finished those words, a noise sounded behind you. It reminded you a little of the sound of your wires, but something was wrong… It was more like steel sliding across a chain. But you didn’t have a chance to process it as your body suddenly launched forward across the room. Needless to say such a sudden motion made you scream.

 

You made it about halfway across the room before Eren had you around the waist with one arm, the other hand grabbed at something hooked to your harness. Once whatever it was detached, you felt yourself tumble to the ground taking Eren with you. He pulled you around so that you hit mostly on him and only partly on the hard surface below.  

 

“Eren are you okay?” You asked him. You weren't hurt but you could tell that you hit pretty hard. You were also a good two meters from where he had grabbed you. The nearest assumption you could make is you were dragged a while. Trying to get up off of him, you found his arms wrapping tighter around you, not letting you move.

 

“Um… Eren?” Your soft question seemed to snap him back to the world. He looked at you and blushed as he released you from his grasp. You get up off the floor and stand near him. 

 

“Uh… Sorry, I guess I just panicked a minute there.” He says quietly. He stands up again and looks at you. Before long he’s rubbing the back of his neck and just staring. “Yeah… we should get back to work huh?” He asks.

 

“Yeah… Um wait… did Hange just strap a bomb to my back?!” Your voice is a combination of nervous and angry. You aren't quite sure what to say if it is true. Hange, on the other hand just starts laughing.  “Hange what did you do?” You growl.

 

“Well, actually it is a propulsion system I was working on for a new 3DMG unit. I figured I could test it by firing it… then I figured, hey what if it helps to get a certain pair of people a little closer… then I realized I just said too much and decided to lay off the coffee a while…” She suddenly jumps up into the air and takes off across the room after the misplaced ‘propulsion system’. 

 

“S-she  had coffee?” Eren asked looking slightly terrified. Your puzzled expression makes him continue. “The last time she had coffee she tried to tie a trainee to the ceiling without gear, to ‘test their problem solving.’ Then she asked two people to date her, before telling them that she really preferred titans and just wanted to see their faces when they were rejected. Then she was found trying to decide which bomb would work best to blow me up.” He shuddered at the thought. “I still don’t’ know if she meant titan Eren, or me Eren…” 

 

“That’s… scary. Is she always like that?” Your voice gives away your sudden slight fear of the scientist.

 

“Only when she has coffee.” He said with a strangely sad smile. “Today is going to be a really, really long day. I’m just glad I got to hear you sing, before I possibly get killed.”

 

“My singing isn't that great.” You mumble. The truth is you don’t know either way, but people keep asking you to do it.

 

“No, it’s better than that. It’s amazing.” He says with a grin. “Anyway… I was kind of wondering…”

 

“Hey you two, have you seen Hange anywhere?” Another voice comes out of nowhere. Turning towards the source of a male voice you think you hear Eren mutter under his breath. 

 

Your eyes fall on a man with short light brown hair and extremely tired looking brown eyes. His current expression implies that he is excessively irritated with life in general. 

 

“She went chasing a rocket that way, Moblit.” Eren says. “Oh, you might want to watch her, she’s had coffee.”

 

“Screw me with a fork.” Moblit looks even more annoyed and goes chasing off in the last known direction of the elusive Hange beast…

 

“Who was that?” Eren looks a little annoyed at first but quickly calms back down.

 

“Moblit Berner he’s Hange’s assistant, voice of reason, and personal guard. He hates all of the above.” Eren says with a shrug. “At least he’s gone for now. Now where was I?” He smiles at you. “Oh yeah, I was going to tell you…”

 

“The commander has called a meeting about an upcoming expedition.” Another random soldier yells entering the room. His voice is extremely loud. “Everyone must attend at the training grounds in five minutes.” The man turns on his heels and walks quickly away.

 

“I’m sorry Eren. I guess we need to go.” He starts grumbling under his breath but agrees with you. As you walk towards the training grounds you feel something warm slide between the fingers of your left hand. You look down to see Eren’s hand and look up at Eren, who smiles gently, but just keeps walking with his eyes forward.


End file.
